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For the past few weeks area I live in with the gf has been terrorized by a cat who likes to, you guessed it, poop on the roofs of local cars. Thus far our cars and our friends cars have yet to be vandalized by the feline so we find it funny. Tonight while talking with Pat on the phone after getting back from Sanford Brown orientation I saw the offending pussy.
And he/she was cute as a button! On seeing me, it rolled over onto its back like it wanted its tummy to be rubbed. But when I approached it ran off. I might bring the cat some food later on because, like I said before, as long as it isn't pooping on my car then I find it funny. I'm selfish that way.
Anyway, Sanford Brown orientation was mind numbingly boring at first. They played a long ass tape of a recent graduation ceremony which to me was almost like... I don't know... some sort of weird brainwashing technique. Then the Director of Admissions gave a boring speech but then! Oh then, came the stupendous tall blonde hotness that is the school's President.
Like my vet before her, I am now actively playing the "Find out if Sanford Brown Fenton Campus President is gay game". Yes, I am and the reward? Ehhh. Knowing another hot lesbian? lol. But she was really great. Warm, genuine, witty, and fun. She did this personality test where you draw a pig and then how you drew it gives hints as to your personality with all 80 of us. While we drew she wandered around and stopped by me and saw I only had a disembodied pig head.
SB President: Where's his body?
Me: I've done this exercise before. It's a personality quiz, right?
SB President: (Gasps and leans down to whisper in my ear.) You'll give away my plans to the others! Keep quiet, I say.
Me: (Laughs.) I'll keep quiet but I won't give him a body.
SB President: (Tilts her head to stare at me.) You realize that if he has no body then your results will ensure the conclusion that you have a warped personality.
Me: That was the idea.
SB President: (Stands up and nods at me.) I approve.
I must say again, I love this woman. lol. I so look forward to running into her at the campus and the possibility of becoming her friend whether she's gay/bi/straight because I think she's truly hilarious. Once she was done talking they played this horribly cheesy video made in PowerPoint with words that fade in and out along with Enya music playing in the background. It said things like...
give, give, give
Take an hour for lunch
Instead of criticizing others, improve yourself
Just really cheesy Dr. Phil Hallmark advice things but all was well because shortly after that the orientation ended and we went to our respective rooms for our program meetings. There was a slight break so I went to see Gary and told him I needed to test out of Intro to Computers since I already have a computer related BFA and sitting in that class would waste not only my money and time but drive me insane. I'm supposed to call him tomorrow to arrange all of that. While I was talking to him the SB President comes up to us. Jeebus I really wish I remembered her name right now...
SB President: (Cries out exuberantly.) Pig head!
Gary: (Blinks.) Pig head?
Me: (To him.) That personality test thing.
Gary: Oh... but why pig head.
SB President: Because that's all she drew.
Me: I didn't feel like drawing a body. It's a pig.
Gary: Poor Babe. (At this point I thought of All My Children and Mimo's babynapper and scowled internally. Hee.)
SB President: (To me.) Where are you going?
Me: Paralegal, Room 5.
SB President: (Nods.) Good, good. (Points at Gary.) Don't trust him in a game of cards. He cheats, I tell you. Cheats.
Gary: (Looks offended.) You hush up! She's trying to hook me up with a free Mac. You'll ruin things.
SB President: (Leans over to me.) He cheats, a big cheater is Gary.
Me: (Laughs.) It's okay, I cheat too. I suck at cards.
Gary: Ha! She's on my side.
SB President; (Sighs sadly.) A band of cheaters.
Me: I better get going to Room 5 now...
SB President; (Grins at me.) Want a hall pass?
Me: (Laughs.) No thanks, I don't want memories of High School to return since I finally have them blocked out.
SB President: (Solemn.) That would explain the pig head.
Like I said, love this woman. She's too funny. Now I must find out if she's gay and if so... perhaps hook her up with Van. Oh the sheer pretty of that! Tall blonde and tall blonde. Yum. lol. Yes, I am a sad person but I love pretty women together. It makes me so very happy and it's a simple thing to achieve at times.
The Dean was there instead of the Paralegal program director because I guess he was sick. Poor cute young Dean didn't have a lot to tell us and we had a really annoying older lady in our group who made another person switch to Nights rather than remain in the Days program to be with her. Heh. That and, no offense, most of the Days students were not on the bright side.
That's that. I need to watch midnight madness AMC recap to see the pretty of Ethan and Kendall along with the Kane women smacking down Greenlee. Ah, entertainment.
And he/she was cute as a button! On seeing me, it rolled over onto its back like it wanted its tummy to be rubbed. But when I approached it ran off. I might bring the cat some food later on because, like I said before, as long as it isn't pooping on my car then I find it funny. I'm selfish that way.
Anyway, Sanford Brown orientation was mind numbingly boring at first. They played a long ass tape of a recent graduation ceremony which to me was almost like... I don't know... some sort of weird brainwashing technique. Then the Director of Admissions gave a boring speech but then! Oh then, came the stupendous tall blonde hotness that is the school's President.
Like my vet before her, I am now actively playing the "Find out if Sanford Brown Fenton Campus President is gay game". Yes, I am and the reward? Ehhh. Knowing another hot lesbian? lol. But she was really great. Warm, genuine, witty, and fun. She did this personality test where you draw a pig and then how you drew it gives hints as to your personality with all 80 of us. While we drew she wandered around and stopped by me and saw I only had a disembodied pig head.
SB President: Where's his body?
Me: I've done this exercise before. It's a personality quiz, right?
SB President: (Gasps and leans down to whisper in my ear.) You'll give away my plans to the others! Keep quiet, I say.
Me: (Laughs.) I'll keep quiet but I won't give him a body.
SB President: (Tilts her head to stare at me.) You realize that if he has no body then your results will ensure the conclusion that you have a warped personality.
Me: That was the idea.
SB President: (Stands up and nods at me.) I approve.
I must say again, I love this woman. lol. I so look forward to running into her at the campus and the possibility of becoming her friend whether she's gay/bi/straight because I think she's truly hilarious. Once she was done talking they played this horribly cheesy video made in PowerPoint with words that fade in and out along with Enya music playing in the background. It said things like...
give, give, give
Take an hour for lunch
Instead of criticizing others, improve yourself
Just really cheesy Dr. Phil Hallmark advice things but all was well because shortly after that the orientation ended and we went to our respective rooms for our program meetings. There was a slight break so I went to see Gary and told him I needed to test out of Intro to Computers since I already have a computer related BFA and sitting in that class would waste not only my money and time but drive me insane. I'm supposed to call him tomorrow to arrange all of that. While I was talking to him the SB President comes up to us. Jeebus I really wish I remembered her name right now...
SB President: (Cries out exuberantly.) Pig head!
Gary: (Blinks.) Pig head?
Me: (To him.) That personality test thing.
Gary: Oh... but why pig head.
SB President: Because that's all she drew.
Me: I didn't feel like drawing a body. It's a pig.
Gary: Poor Babe. (At this point I thought of All My Children and Mimo's babynapper and scowled internally. Hee.)
SB President: (To me.) Where are you going?
Me: Paralegal, Room 5.
SB President: (Nods.) Good, good. (Points at Gary.) Don't trust him in a game of cards. He cheats, I tell you. Cheats.
Gary: (Looks offended.) You hush up! She's trying to hook me up with a free Mac. You'll ruin things.
SB President: (Leans over to me.) He cheats, a big cheater is Gary.
Me: (Laughs.) It's okay, I cheat too. I suck at cards.
Gary: Ha! She's on my side.
SB President; (Sighs sadly.) A band of cheaters.
Me: I better get going to Room 5 now...
SB President; (Grins at me.) Want a hall pass?
Me: (Laughs.) No thanks, I don't want memories of High School to return since I finally have them blocked out.
SB President: (Solemn.) That would explain the pig head.
Like I said, love this woman. She's too funny. Now I must find out if she's gay and if so... perhaps hook her up with Van. Oh the sheer pretty of that! Tall blonde and tall blonde. Yum. lol. Yes, I am a sad person but I love pretty women together. It makes me so very happy and it's a simple thing to achieve at times.
The Dean was there instead of the Paralegal program director because I guess he was sick. Poor cute young Dean didn't have a lot to tell us and we had a really annoying older lady in our group who made another person switch to Nights rather than remain in the Days program to be with her. Heh. That and, no offense, most of the Days students were not on the bright side.
That's that. I need to watch midnight madness AMC recap to see the pretty of Ethan and Kendall along with the Kane women smacking down Greenlee. Ah, entertainment.
