How to say, I don't know if I'm buying as much into this fic as I was Intents. There still seems a bit too much disparity in Shizuru's actions and her reactions, if that makes any sense. I guess to say, it feels like I'm not really getting how Shizuru's making these connections with Haruka, and comparatively there didn't seem anything exceptional that should force her to superimpose Natsuki into Haruka as she seems to have done in this chapter. Make her further realize what a monster she's become, yes, consider further that Haruka's one of the few things she has left from her time of sanity, yes... but nothing really seemed to -click- to force the trade-off, so to speak, that hasn't been mentioned before in Shizuru's mind.
I will say I loved the addition of Arika! I've missed her in a lot of MO fics, so I find it exhilarating to see her, even if she wasn't exactly one of my favorite characters. XD I will also say however I had hoped to get a little more character out of her than "Sailor Moon" disease -- you know, the one of love and peace. (lol) Uh, just to say that I would've liked to have seen her get a little serious, maybe even a few simple additions to their interactions that give her some more depth. Definitely a little variation in conversation topics could spiffy up that section as well.
And I liked the interactions with Sara there at the end. Wonder how hard she's willing to truly push, and how desperate she can be now... staring into Shizuru's eyes and fairly daring Shizuru to try to justify herself took a lot of guts I should think. :3
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timeasmymeasure
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How to say, I don't know if I'm buying as much into this fic as I was Intents. There still seems a bit too much disparity in Shizuru's actions and her reactions, if that makes any sense. I guess to say, it feels like I'm not really getting how Shizuru's making these connections with Haruka, and comparatively there didn't seem anything exceptional that should force her to superimpose Natsuki into Haruka as she seems to have done in this chapter. Make her further realize what a monster she's become, yes, consider further that Haruka's one of the few things she has left from her time of sanity, yes... but nothing really seemed to -click- to force the trade-off, so to speak, that hasn't been mentioned before in Shizuru's mind.
I will say I loved the addition of Arika! I've missed her in a lot of MO fics, so I find it exhilarating to see her, even if she wasn't exactly one of my favorite characters. XD I will also say however I had hoped to get a little more character out of her than "Sailor Moon" disease -- you know, the one of love and peace. (lol) Uh, just to say that I would've liked to have seen her get a little serious, maybe even a few simple additions to their interactions that give her some more depth. Definitely a little variation in conversation topics could spiffy up that section as well.
And I liked the interactions with Sara there at the end. Wonder how hard she's willing to truly push, and how desperate she can be now... staring into Shizuru's eyes and fairly daring Shizuru to try to justify herself took a lot of guts I should think. :3