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TITLE: Intents and Purposes
SERIES: My Otome
AUTHOR: Dreiser
EMAIL: dreiser7@yahoo.com
YAHOO ID: dreiser7
MY WEBSITE: http://www.dreiser.org/
CONTENT: F/F romance. F/F sex. Haruka/Yukino.
SUMMARY: Haruka Armitage and Yukino Chrysant have done everything in their lives for a common purpose with a shared intent.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but my movies tickets to the seven o'clock showing of Star Trek tomorrow.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Slightly longer chapter. I figure it's canon for Yukino to be quicker on the romantic uptake.
Intents and Purposes
By: Dreiser
Two
It was funny how people could change each other's lives. Yukino hadn't been shy before she met Haruka but she wasn't particularly outgoing either. She didn't make any attempts to speak with the students in her class anymore than they did to her. Meeting Haruka had changed something in her though, maybe it was Haruka's friendliness, how she kept her promise and didn't ignore her at school but slowly Yukino found herself speaking to the other students. Soon they lost whatever intimidation they felt due to her intelligence and her parents influence and they simply spoke to her as one person would another.
That innocent remark of Haruka's, that she should become President of Aries and Haruka would be her Otome, it remained in Yukino's mind and when it was suggested in her tenth year that she should run for Student Council President, she thought it would be a good way to see if this sort of work was something suited to her. She could only glean so much from observing her father here and there and he had been a Senator for so very long that her mother often said politics had warped his opinion of public service. Though her father did love the good he did at his job he wasn't one to encourage his daughter to go into the same line of work due to the problems he had over the years.
Despite her much younger age, Yukino easily won the election and the one after that and the one after that. Her last three years at school were spent heading up the Student Council and though it was time consuming work that often left her frazzled Yukino found she enjoyed it. Much like her father she loved helping people and she loved the idea she had the power, the influence, to lend that help and for the first time she found her intelligence put to a good use, her mind challenged by the problems set before her as President.
If Yukino was busy with her duties at the Student Council President than Haruka was just as busy in her training for the sponsorship exam for Garderobe. Five years had passed since Yukino first met Haruka and in that time Haruka hadn't wavered in the slightest in her desire to be an Otome. In fact, at the end of this year the younger girl would be taking the sponsorship exam given by the Aries military and as that time grew nearer Haruka was able to spend less of her time with Yukino, much to the brunette's disappointment. She saw the blonde daily though, Haruka faithfully came over to her house after she finished her training, no matter how late the visits might come.
Rolling her neck in a circle and sighing at the familiar sound of a pop, Yukino removed her glasses and rubbed at her eyes. Her eyes were either getting worse or she becoming tired. Glancing at the clock at the wall, Yukino squinted and saw it was just past five o'clock. Deciding she had done as much work as she could without making any mistakes due to lack of sleep or just plain inattention, Yukino pushed herself away from the desk and started to gather up her things, preparing to finally head home.
Just as she went about doing this, the figure of her Vice President, Blanche Liang, walked through the door. "President," she greeted.
"Blanche," said Yukino with a smile. "Did you need something?"
Shaking her head no, Blanche hopped up to sit on top of one of the desks. There was an easy confidence the older girl had that reminded Yukino so much of Haruka. Perhaps that's how she came to depend so much on her in her role as Vice President. "Graduation is coming," Blanche remarked casually, a little too casually, and Yukino raised an eyebrow in a curious but silent demand. Laughing at this, Blanche leaned back on her hands and said, "I'm no good at fooling you, am I?"
"You tend to be obvious," said Yukino quietly, though her tone was fond.
"The dance," said Blanche in dramatic tones that came out in a large breath. "Don't you think you should go? It is our last one. I always accepted your reasons for never going before because you're younger than everyone else in our grade but this time--"
"My reason is the same," said Yukino firmly. "I don't want to go and no one has asked me."
"Quinton would if he wasn't sure you'd say no," Blanche informed eagerly and Yukino's eyes widened in surprise on hearing this.
"You're lying, and I told you, I don't want to go," Yukino enforced strongly, picking up her bag and quickly exiting the Student Council room before Blanche could follow after her. One step after another, faster and faster, Yukino rushed through the halls until she was at the front of the school and greeted by her family's driver who was always so very good and patient to wait until she was done with school business to take her home. Thanking him as was her automatic habit and feeling a genuine gratitude for his patience with her, Yukino sat in the back of the car and stared out the window, watching the scenery of Caeles as they slowly left school grounds.
It was immature and a little childish, what she did to Blanche, running out on her but Yukino knew if she stayed in that room her Vice President would wheedle her down just like she always did and she might end up agreeing to accompany Quinton to the dance and while he was a very kind person that wasn't something she particularly wanted. At first she thought her reluctance to date and spend time with boys was due to the fact she was younger than everyone else in her class but the more time she spent with her friends the more she realized the way they spoke about the boys they liked was the way she felt about Haruka. That same preoccupation, her thoughts always drifting to the person, day dreaming about them, analyzing every little thing they did, she did that with Haruka, just like she wanted to spend all her time with her. Resting her forehead against the car window, she watched as they neared the grounds of her family estate and wondered how Haruka felt about her. Haruka readily said she was her best friend, that she cared for Yukino above all her other friends, but somehow she doubted that the blonde shared the same feelings that she was experiencing.
The car came to slow stop and Yukino was immediately greeted by the distant shout of her name when she exited the vehicle. Adjusting her bag over her shoulder, she smiled at the sight of Haruka hanging upside down on one of the large branches of the tree that had been their usual meeting place since they day they met. The blonde was dressed in her training clothes that consisted of a pair of loose black pants and a matching black tank top that was tucked in. When Yukino reached her, Haruka grinned down at her, placing her hand lightly on top of the brunette's always haphazard head of hair.
"Working late?" asked Haruka knowingly.
"Just a little," said Yukino, setting her bag on the ground. Staring up at her friend, she wore a rueful expression and chided, "You'll get dizzy if you hang upside down like that for too long, Haruka-chan. It can't be good for you."
Releasing a dismissive noise, Haruka swung back and forth, her body moving up for several abdomen crunches. "It only makes you dizzy until you get used to it. Trust me, it's good training," said Haruka wisely.
"If you say so," said Yukino skeptically. "I just don't think it's safe, you being up that high."
"Otomes fly right?" Haruka pointed out, doing several more crunches. "I can't be scared of heights if I want to be one. In fact, I can't be scared of anything. An Otome needs guts! That's what my parents say."
Having heard this argument several times from her friend, Yukino murmured her agreement and sat underneath the tree. Her bag in her lap, she rooted through it until she found the folder filled with Student Council work she had just abandoned. Flipping through the pages, Yukino tried to focus on the task at hand but once again found her focus drifting. Listening to the sounds of Haruka's quiet grunts and counting as she continued her exercise routine, Yukino once again found her thoughts focused on the other girl. Haruka was an anomaly to Yukino, everyone else in her life was easily figured out, even her own parents, but as simple as Haruka appeared on the outside she had a strength, an intense drive, and a focus that Yukino envied. She knew Haruka's reasons for wanting to become an Otome, how she admired the good they could do in the world, and how she felt that the life of an Otome was suited to her more than anything else but Yukino couldn't quite grasp the idea of Haruka, boisterous, outgoing, and thoroughly opinionated Haruka, deferring to someone for the rest of her life. Making them the center of their world, their choices the most important, forever following their lead, entwining her life totally with theirs to the point if they died, she died with them.
Sometimes Yukino thought maybe her desire to go into public service had less to do with helping people and more to do with the idea of keeping Haruka with her. Just the thought of Haruka devoting her life to someone else, protecting them, dying for them, it filled her with an inexplicable misery and Yukino just knew she couldn't let that happen. She did take comfort in the fact that she enjoyed her work as Student Council President and she was good at the job, well liked in the position, and this made her feel a little less selfish in her desires because at least she would be helping other people, even if they didn't know the driving force behind her ambitions.
At first, she thought she'd grow out of it. This attachment she had to Haruka, she thought it had to do with the fact Haruka was her first friend, and the person who brought her out of her shell, who helped her discover what she was truly good at in her work with the Student Council, but as she got older and that attachment only strengthened Yukino knew this wasn't something she would grow out of. It wasn't something caused from her immaturity and youth, it was something far deeper than that, and Haruka's world had become her world and Haruka's life her own life. The way she felt for the younger girl, it was something out of those old fairy tales she used to read, with the handsome knight and the beautiful princess but with Haruka and herself in their places. Haruka had saved her from a life of loneliness and isolation and Yukino loved her for that, she loved her desperately, and she knew that the blonde loved her as well.
Only it wasn't the same sort of love.
Yukino was so lost in thought that she didn't notice the soft thump of Haruka dropping from the tree to her feet with a slight stumble or hear the blonde grumble as she fell back on her hands. She did, however, notice when Haruka's concerned face appeared just underneath her own, worry floating in violet eyes as Haruka peered up at her.
"Yukino," Haruka said her name in that solemn way she often had, the tone that brooked no arguments, the one that told Yukino how very serious the blonde was taking the matter at hand. "What's wrong?"
"Haruka-chan," Yukino breathed her name more than she said it. She wanted so very badly to tell Haruka what she had been thinking, to talk to her about all these feelings she had been bottling up over the past year, ever since she realized the reason she couldn't like any of the boys in her class was because she already liked Haruka. That was what she wanted but it wasn't what she was going to do, saying something like that to Haruka, it would be disastrous, and it wouldn't do any good. She loved her friend endlessly but Yukino wasn't a fool, she knew the differences between them. Haruka was brilliant in sports, anything physical, and when she studied she tested well in school though she hardly enjoyed it but she wasn't the most intuitive or clever person. Besides that, Haruka was younger than her, just twelve and if Yukino barely understood what she felt at fourteen and in her twelfth year of schooling how could Haruka when she was only in her sixth? It just wasn't possible to tell her the truth of things, no matter how much she might want it. "It's nothing."
"Are you sure?" asked Haruka earnestly, her eyes squinting as she studied the older girl.
Placing her work to one side and leaning back against the tree, Yukino's gaze was lidded and before she could help herself, she was reaching out to touch Haruka's cheek. The blonde's skin was soft to her touch, like the silk sheets her father brought from far off Zipang on a diplomatic mission, and Yukino wanted to sigh when she touched it, the feeling was that pleasing to her. "I'm sure," she said quietly, giving a smile of reassurance to Haruka whose brow furrowed when Yukino said this.
That frown remained on Haruka's face for what seemed like countless moments then she grumbled under her breath, flopping down on the ground and resting her head in Yukino's lap. Gazing up at the brunette, Haruka had something of a scowl on her features but it was softened by the fondness in her tones as she declared, "You'll have to tell me eventually." Haruka pointed a decisive finger up at Yukino, wagging it at her as if she were some sort of naughty puppy to be punished. "You know that's true."
"Yes, Haruka-chan," Yukino said in agreement because she knew it was the truth. That eventually she would have to tell Haruka these thoughts but not now, not anytime soon, not until she was sure that the blonde would understand what she needed to say. Brushing her fingers through thick blonde bangs, rubbing the fine hairs between her fingers, she murmured, "I can't keep secrets from you."
"But you do," said Haruka obstinately, staring at Yukino, her brow furrowed again. "You're so mystagogy! You've gotten that way the past year." Rolling over slightly, she examined the other girl under a close gaze and she said, "Is it because you're about to graduate?"
"Mysterious," corrected Yukino automatically, a smiling tugging on her lips. Fixing Haruka's verbal follies had become second nature to her and Yukino wondered if they were separated and Haruka became an Otome and she wasn't with her, would Haruka's Master do it for her? Or would they roll their eyes and make fun of her behind her back like so many did at their school?
"I said that!" Haruka huffed, cheeks puffing out and Yukino's smile grew larger and she had to hold herself back from kissing the blonde's head, she found the act that endearing. "Well?" Haruka demanded rather impatiently. "Is that it? You worried about graduating?" When Yukino didn't reply her frown deepened and Haruka looked off in the distance, her voice quiet as she said, "Lately I don't know what you're thinking. It bugs me because, before, I always did for the most part. Even with you being smarter than me." Yukino started to protest this and Haruka silenced her with a hard stare and continued, "I know I still mix up my words and I don't catch on so fast, even with people my age, but especially not with the older ones in your class but I still think I could help you if you'd let me."
"Haruka-chan," Yukino's voice cracked as she said her name and her vision blurred with tears. "I'm sorry."
Everything was a blur and it wasn't just from the tears because she felt Haruka's hands, warm and callused but so gentle as they removed her glasses, wiping away her tears with the pads of her thumbs. "Don't cry," Haruka's gruff instruction met her ears and it was terribly kind despite its tone and Yukino cried again. She loved the blonde so very much, she couldn't imagine her life without her, so why did it have to be so very confusing? Why did she have such fear for the first time in her life? Maybe because for the first time, she had something that she was actually afraid of losing. "Don't cry," Haruka said again and her breath was hot on Yukino's skin as she pulled the brunette into a hug. Yukino collapsed gratefully into the blonde's arms, wondering if it was her Otome training that made them so very strong yet comforting in their hold, but thinking it more had to with the fact it was simply Haruka. Hands moved in a slow steady circle on her back, rubbing it in a tentative movement, and she vaguely heard Haruka mutter, "Yukino never cries. Something must be wrong."
And it was true, she never cried before this, not anytime that she could remember at least. Yukino tended to think everything through logically, that was how problems were solved and that's how she lived her life. Then she met Haruka and she wasn't someone who did things logically, she operated on instinct, her heart, often asserting the validity of going with her guts. Something Yukino theorized was akin to guessing but without any fear of failure. Part of her wanted things to go back to how they used to be, before she realized what these feelings for Haruka meant, but she knew that was impossible, once a person moves forward in their life mentally or emotionally it's next to impossible to move backwards. Not that she really wanted to, it was good to move forward, and she hoped Haruka would move with her. The girl was certainly fixated on her future goals and Yukino seemed to be a large part of that. Whenever Haruka discussed her life as an Otome she immediately declared that Yukino would be her Master as if there was no other choice in the matter.
Maybe there wasn't, maybe they had a great guiding force that would keep them together, that was what Yukino was hoping because imagining life without Haruka at her side was too unbearably lonely. "Haruka-chan," she finally murmured, pulling away from the blonde's embrace and looking into concerned violet eyes that silently asked for the truth, that wanted to know why she had been crying, and she wanted to tell Haruka but she couldn't. "I'm sorry." Pulling away, she rubbed at her eyes, feeling utterly ridiculous and knowing she should be stronger than this, that she was stronger than this. "I didn't mean to cry all over you."
Rolling her eyes and giving a dismissive mumble, Haruka tilted her head and gazed at Yukino rather suspiciously. "You don't cry," she stated quite plainly. "Tell me what's wrong. It is graduating, isn't it? You don't know what university to go to? Or you're afraid you'll be left alone like you were before because I'll be at Garderobe?"
"No," Yukino shook her head, staring at the grass, picking at it absently. She wasn't scared of that anymore. These past years on the Student Council and her friendship with Haruka had brought her out of her shell. As much as she would miss Haruka if they were apart she knew she would be able to make friends at whatever university she attended despite being younger than the other students. It wasn't so much the temporary separation from the other girl while they were at their respective schools that frightened her so much as the possible permanent one if Haruka became an Otome and Yukino wasn't her Master. "It's not that. I think things are just changing too fast but I'm not worried about being alone." Hearing this, Haruka's face screwed up into an expression of utter confusion and Yukino couldn't help but laugh fondly and reach out to touch the small frown lines that appeared on the other girl's face which deepened upon hearing her laughter. "Haruka-chan will always be my most important person," she found herself confessing.
"Me too," Haruka muttered, giving a noise of agreement. "Yukino will always be mine too."
Forming a soft smile at this, a wave of happiness suffusing her on hearing these words, Yukino knew however much it hurt, however confusing things became, it was worth it to wait for Haruka because in the end, she was sure they would feel the same. It was just that she was a little bit quicker when it came to realizing things but she was sure Haruka would catch up in the end.
She always did.
---
As the sponsorship exam for Garderobe neared Yukino saw less and less of Haruka as she became focused on her training. They still met one another daily but the visits were shorter in length, sometimes just a few minutes, but Yukino was always grateful for them, to know as much as being an Otome meant to Haruka she was just as important to the blonde. Her own graduation was approaching and after having the required meeting with the academic advisor at Caeles Academy she applied to her chosen universities. While she had a good deal of confidence in her ability to be accepted to all of the schools one in particular mattered to her more than the others and it was this school which caused her mother to confront her on the application choices, a look of concern on her features.
There was a knock on her bedroom door and moments after she said come in, Yukino was greeted by her mother hovering in the doorway, hand against the wall and a worried frown tugging at her mouth. "Yukino," said Ume slowly, taking a step into the room. "I was just speaking with your advisor from school. She tells me you've applied to Windbloom University?"
"Yes," said Yukino, a matching frown forming as she sat on her bed, observing her mother as she approached. "I'd like to go there."
"May I ask why?" Ume inquired and she sounded genuinely perplexed. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she neatly smoothed out her skirt and continued, "I realize that you probably want to leave the nest and see the world but you must realize because Aries is the only truly free and democratic nation that our universities are the finest. We allow our students to speak their minds and without the enforced class system created by nobles and royalty everyone who wishes it is granted the finest education our country can offer. Windbloom is a lovely country but in comparison to Aries, you must recognize how it is lacking."
She could be completely honest with her mother and tell her the reason she was considering Windbloom above all others was the fact it was strategically located next to Garderobe but she didn't want to do that. Yukino knew her mother would look down on such reasoning and she was sure that the older woman was partially aware this had to be part of her motivation anyway. In the end, Yukino decided that it was best to tell her mother the truth but in a more subdued and careful explanation.
"I love my work on the Student Council," said Yukino and there was a warmth, a happiness, in her voice as she said this because it was the truth. She did love her work and she wanted to continue it when she attended university. "I want to see if I would be suited to following in father's footsteps, becoming a public servant, an elected official as he is. I think a good way of finding out would be to attend a school that has a good foreign relations department and Windbloom University has the best in all of Earl."
"Your father is a Senator for Aries, not for the other countries in Earl," said Ume kindly but a bit pointedly.
"I know that but doesn't he work with the other countries? Doesn't everyone on the Senate?" Yukino pursued doggedly, not wanting to give up her choice for schooling so easily. It was true she wanted to be at Windbloom University to be closer to Haruka but she wasn't lying when she said they had the best foreign relations department out of all the schools she was applying to.
"Yukino," Ume said her name with a heavy sigh. "Are you sure this isn't about Haruka? She's been saying ever since she was a child that she wants to attend Garderobe and I know very well she's taking the sponsorship exam next month. I know you're attached to her but planning your entire future around another person at your age isn't the wisest decision--"
"It's not about Haruka," said Yukino, wincing inwardly because she knew that a portion of that was a lie. "This is about me and what I want to do. I'll admit that I'm glad she'll be close to me, that I'll be able to see more of her if I attend Windbloom but what I want to do, it can't be about just Haruka. I want her to be a part of it, just like I want her to always be in my life, but I'm the one who will be studying at the university, Mother, not Haruka, and I want to do that at Windbloom."
"Very well," said Ume, giving another sigh and rising to her feet. "Your father and I have always encouraged you to go as far as you could with your education, to be independent in your decision making, and if you truly believe that the next logical step in your advancement is to study at Windbloom University then we'll support that decision."
"Thank you, Mother," said Yukino gratefully, her eyes shining.
"Just be sure to tell those other students which country has the most brilliant and fair minded political system," Ume insisted, smiling when Yukino laughed at her words. "Yukino," she murmured her name soft and sweetly, the love she felt clearly evident as she said it. "Always know that we are proud of you and nothing you do could ever change that."
"I know," said Yukino and her cheeks were red with a blush.
Chuckling at this, Ume headed out the door only to poke her head back through and remark, "Your father and I are also quite fond of Haruka. He's planning on supporting the equal marriage act that is currently proposed in the Senate."
"Mother!" Yukino exclaimed, her entire face red and a mortified expression forming on her features.
"As I thought," said Ume, sounding altogether pleased, clucking her tongue. "It does have to do with Haruka."
With that said, she was finally gone, the door clicking shut behind her to leave Yukino thoroughly embarrassed and wondering exactly how much her parents knew about her developing feelings for Haruka and not really wanting to discover the answer.
---
Spinning the long staff in her grip, Haruka narrowed her eyes and watched as her mother circled around her. The words of her father echoed in her mind, to always charge in, to have guts, to attack first but they warred with the advice of her Sensei and her mother that said to think about what path it is you wanted to take before you headed down it. In the end, Haruka blocked the thoughts from her mind and she moved on pure instinct. Whenever she fought she couldn't think, not too much, because if she did then the fear could set in, the fear of being hurt, of hurting others, of not being good enough but as long as she kept moving and pushed these thoughts from her mind, if she focused on feeling, instinct, and her guts she would find the courage deep down inside her and she'd always succeed.
And so she fell to the ground in a crouch, sweeping the long staff in her hand and connecting with her mother's shins, causing the other woman to fall onto her back. An expulsion of air and a grunt of pain passed Kaoru's lips and before she could respond, Haruka's weight was on her chest and she felt the steady press of the long staff against her throat. Looking up at her daughter and recognizing that triumphant look as the same one Daisuke always had whenever he was sure that he was the winner, Kaoru narrowed her eyes.
"Training is over," grumbled Kaoru, her hands gripping her daughter's long staff. "You win this session."
The grin that Haruka wore on her face only increased though it shifted with laughter as her mother leapt to her feet and gathered her up in a hug, her fingers moving insistently at her daughter's side, tickling her until she was red in the face. After Haruka gave a gasp of surrender, she ceased her attack and the girl gazed up at her mother, an admiring sheen in her eyes as she asked, "So? Was I good enough?"
Releasing a thoughtful noise and rotating her back, Kaoru studied her daughter's hopeful expression. Part of her wanted to tease just because it was terribly endearing in the way that Haruka would huff in indignation just like her father but she couldn't quite bring herself to do that, not with those eyes so bright and eager.
"You did very well," said Kaoru solemnly, placing her hand on top of Haruka's head and smiling at her. "I'm sure you'll pass the sponsorship exam." She paused to study Haruka for a long moment and not for the first time she wondered if perhaps her daughter wasn't somehow influenced by her parents careers, if they somehow made her feel as if this was the only path for her, going into the military to serve and protect their country. "Honey," she said slowly, her energetic tones unusually gentle. "Are you sure this is what you want? The life of an Otome isn't an easy one. It's even harder than the life your father and I have being in the army. We take orders, just like an Otome does but it isn't the same. Our lives are our own, we can get married, have personal lives, romantic relationships, and Otomes serve their Masters until retirement. There isn't time for anything else and your life would always be linked to your Master's."
"Meister Blomquist saved you, she saved everybody," Haruka said quietly. "I watched it on the television. You would have died fighting that slave but she showed up and she saved everybody and I want to be like her. I want to be able to save people in trouble too."
"Haruka," Kaoru said her name in a murmur. "You don't have to be an Otome to do that."
"I want to do it," said Haruka stubbornly, her jaw setting and her eyes getting an all too familiar determined gleam. "I'm the one who's got to take all the tests so I'm the one who should decide, shouldn't I? And I want to do it."
"She sounds convinced," Daisuke's voice floated into their small family training room and they turned to greet the General who stood in the doorway, pulling his tie loose from around his neck and rumpling his uniform in the process. Walking towards his wife and daughter, his gaze was steady with Haruka's and he said, "Your mother is right, you know. You don't have to be an Otome to protect people. She and I do that in our work for the army and so do the members of our national police force."
"I want to be an Otome," Haruka enforced, folding her arms over her chest for emphasis. Her eyes moved suspiciously from one parent to the other and she said, "Is this a erotological game? Are you trying to trick me into saying it's not what I want?"
Knowing that Haruka meant to say psychological, her parents exchanged an affectionate glance between them, and together they lay their hands on the top of her hand, ruffling her hair and wearing proud smiles. "Then be the best," said Daisuke, his tone warm but commanding.
Releasing a noise of strong affirmation, Haruka nodded her head and grinned widely.
"Why don't you take a shower?" Kaoru suggested, sliding her hand from Haruka's head to hold her husband's. "We'll have dinner ready by the time you're done. Maybe even have a second helping prepared since you've worked so hard at training today."
Offering her thanks to her mother, Haruka turned on her heel and ran out of the training room, her feet pounding a path on the stairs while she headed up to her room. She knew it all had to be some sort of mind game her parents were putting her through, asking her if she really wanted to be an Otome after she trained years for it, and with the sponsorship exam coming up just next month. Haruka supposed she understood their reasons though. It wouldn't be good for someone to take the sponsorship exam, pass, get into Garderobe, and spend the tax dollars of the Aries citizens only to drop out or never become an Otome at all because they weren't sure.
Haruka was sure though, she knew that she wanted to be an Otome ever since she watched Meister Blomquist save her mother and all those people. She wanted to have that power, that ability, to save many and all with her own hands. She knew it wasn't easy, living the life of an Otome, but there was that promise she made with Yukino, it helped her feel better about things. Taking orders wasn't something that Haruka really liked but she was used to it with her parents and dealing with the military, moving from place to place, and reading that book about the Otome with Yukino, learning of the devotion they had to have for their Master, the absolute obedience they had to grant them, and the fact that their lives were tied together, it was a little scary. What if her Master wasn't a good person? What if they made bad decisions? What if they weren't doing things that were best for Aries but instead for themselves? Haruka wasn't sure she could live with that even if she had the power of an Otome.
The idea that Yukino could be her Master though, that made her feel better, more confident, about the idea. She knew Yukino was the sort of Master she would want to serve, would want to protect with her own life, because Yukino was smart and kind and she always thought about others. Yukino would be the best sort of person an Otome could serve and Haruka wanted to be her Otome, she wanted the two of them to be together, to use Yukino's intelligence and her strength to make Aries a better country and protect it from its enemies.
Stepping into the shower and sighing at the feel of the cool water on her skin, Haruka thought about what it would be like to be away from Yukino. She had seen her nearly every day since they first met and when she got into Garderobe she would be in an entirely different country. It was true that Aries and Windbloom shared a border but it wasn't the easiest nor quickest of trips and Garderobe wasn't exactly known for having an easy training program. Otome trainees spent almost all of their time at the academy, barely having breaks, which meant that for all the years she would be attending Garderobe she wouldn't be seeing much of any other country but Windbloom.
Being away from Yukino would be hard, even harder than being away from her parents because Haruka was used to not seeing a lot of them. They were often away on missions and their work, and she had learned how to live without them, the tricks of not being lonely, forcing herself to not think about missing them but it would be different, not seeing Yukino. They had been together constantly for five years now and Yukino was the only person she would truly call a friend. Haruka wasn't stupid, she knew people sometimes mocked her for her habit of mixing words up and the way she barreled into situations without thinking first but Yukino never did. She would kindly correct and she would chide and she would suggest other methods of doing things but she never made Haruka feel stupid and she would miss that and her terribly if they were apart. Just like she'd miss Yukino's sweet voice that always seemed to have a quiet affection for her in every word she spoke.
Gentle wasn't something Haruka was used to. She grew up not having a lot of nice things, roughing it out, living in sometimes the most dismal of circumstances because of where her parents were stationed and Yukino was the first soft thing, the first gentle thing, Haruka ever encountered in her life. Her parents were never cruel but they never babied her, they taught Haruka it was best to be hard, rough, to form a barrier around yourself and to never take things personally, to take criticisms for what they were and Haruka did that. It never really bothered her, people making fun of her the way they sometimes did but she couldn't help but love Yukino for the fact that she was different, that she was gentle, that she was soft, that she was the first person to treat her with compassion. Haruka didn't want to be apart from that, not even for an instant, even if it was to fulfill the promise they made to one another.
Turning off the water and drying herself with a towel, Haruka wiped at the foggy surface of the mirror and studied her reflection. There would be people at Garderobe, people who shared her ambition, her dedication, but despite that she didn't think any of them could ever mean as much to her as Yukino did. There was only one of her in all of Earl and she would be far from Haruka's reach once she entered the Otome training academy. Sometimes she thought that being away from Yukino would be the hardest part of all and the true test of her will.
---
The night before the Garderobe sponsorship exam Haruka insisted her parents let her spend the night at Yukino's. She arrived at the brunette's house with a bag slung over shoulder and a crooked grin on her features. Yukino was surprised to see the younger girl, sure that she would be busy spending the day in nonstop training, but she greeted her with a happy cry, pulling her inside the house. Supper had long since passed and they hid themselves away in Yukino's room, where Haruka flopped down on the bed with a loud groan, crawling over to Yukino and resting her head in her lap when the older girl sat down.
They remained that way for a long time, content to be in one another's company, not feeling a pressing need for conversation. Yukino studied Haruka's features, normally so energetic and full of life, peaceful and at rest, the blonde's eyes fluttering shut. Sifting her fingers through the younger girl's golden hair, enjoying its silky texture, Yukino wondered if Haruka would let another girl do this when she was at Garderobe. She heard things about the Otome academy and she knew quite well romance with men was forbidden to the Otome as it took away their powers but it was supposedly common for them to find comfort in each other. She didn't want to think about that though, Haruka being with another girl, someone who wasn't her, resting her head in their lap as it was her habit to do with Yukino but it wasn't like she had the right to stop such a thing from happening. They weren't a couple and she wasn't even sure the extent of her feelings for the other girl. Yukino loved her, yes, but she didn't understand what that love really was and anytime she started to imagine the things she wanted to do with Haruka…
"Yukino's face is red," Haruka's lazy voice drifted up to her and Yukino blinked and her hand jerked up, touching her cheek which seemed to burn underneath her fingertips. Haruka lifted her hand, touching the same cheek Yukino just had, her touch tender and curious in its inspection. "What were you thinking about?"
"Nothing," said Yukino quickly.
Snorting at this, Haruka remarked, "You're always thinking about something, Yukino. You're an inspectoral."
"Intellectual," corrected Yukino, laughing when Haruka scowled at her.
"I know," Haruka huffed, her cheeks puffing out slightly. "You're not going to tell me are you?"
Shaking her head, Yukino played with Haruka's bangs, pushing them back on her forehead and smiling as Haruka rolled her eyes at this gesture. "Are you nervous about the exam?" she asked. "You've been training for so long. Ever since we first met."
"Even before that," said Haruka proudly. "I started when I was five."
"You knew you wanted to be an Otome when you were five?" asked Yukino, impressed that it was an ambition that had stayed with the blonde for so long. Most small children would forget a thing like that or just move onto another dream but the fact that Haruka steadfastly trained to achieve her goal since that age said something very important about her personality. She wasn't someone who lost interest in something easily nor was she type to give up or give in, once she was given a task, she did everything she could to achieve it. That was why Yukino had little doubt that Haruka would succeed tomorrow because, really, there wasn't any other option.
"That was when I saw Meister Blomquist save my mother," Haruka said, peering up at Yukino. "When I saw her defeat that slave I wanted to be like that, to have that same power to help people, and I've been trying my hardest so I could be that kind of person."
"I know you'll pass, Haruka-chan," murmured Yukino, a soft smile on her features.
Silence and Haruka kept her gaze steady with Yukino's and there was an earnest look on her features and that solemn light in her eyes, the one that always served to make the older girl's stomach have a nervous flutter in the very nicest sort of way. "I'll miss you," Haruka said and her voice was that gruff tone it always had when she was embarrassed but Haruka said the words anyway and Yukino was sure it was because the blonde felt it was something she needed to hear. "I'll miss Yukino more than anyone when I'm at Garderobe."
"Haruka-chan," Yukino whispered her name and there was a wealth of emotion in the way she said it. Her vision was blurry and she knew she had tears in her eyes but she refused to let them fall and worry the blonde with her outburst. Forming her best cheerful smile as she smoothed a lock of hair from Haruka's forehead, Yukino murmured, "You won't have to."
In response, Haruka blinked in confusion and Yukino scooted away from the blonde, causing Haruka to roll over on her stomach, observing as Yukino opened the drawer to the small bedside dresser. Removing a neatly folded letter, she handed it to the blonde whose brow was furrowed as she accepted the letter and carefully opened it. Her eyes moving down the page, getting wider with each word she read, a huge grin broke out on her features and she released an exuberant shout, tossing the letter aside and wrapping Yukino up in a hug. The brunette laughed in happy surprise at Haruka's embrace, her arms sliding around the other girl's waist and sinking into her touch, feeling utterly satisfied to be this close to Haruka, to know that she caused that happy reaction.
"Yukino!" Haruka's boisterous accusation rang in her ears and Yukino smiled wider on hearing it. "Why didn't you tell me you were applying to Windbloom University? I've been debiting our separation."
"Dreading," said Yukino in an euphoric whisper. "And I have too. That's why I applied."
"We'll be able to see each other now," said Haruka, pulling away from Yukino, her hands firm on the older girl's shoulders, grinning and wearing an eager expression as she looked into the brunette's eyes. "We won't have to be apart."
"That's right," said Yukino and she tried to hold back the tears but they still rang through in her tones but they didn't have a chance to fall, not with Haruka wrapping her up in another hug. Losing herself to the overwhelming comfort that Haruka's embrace always granted her, Yukino closed her eyes and buried her face in the crook of the blonde's neck.
"I'll be sure to pass," Haruka declared confidently, her breath hot on Yukino's skin and her hands firm as they held her close. "I'll pass and we can keep the promise we made. You'll see, Yukino. One day I'll be your Otome."
To be continued...
SERIES: My Otome
AUTHOR: Dreiser
EMAIL: dreiser7@yahoo.com
YAHOO ID: dreiser7
MY WEBSITE: http://www.dreiser.org/
CONTENT: F/F romance. F/F sex. Haruka/Yukino.
SUMMARY: Haruka Armitage and Yukino Chrysant have done everything in their lives for a common purpose with a shared intent.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but my movies tickets to the seven o'clock showing of Star Trek tomorrow.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Slightly longer chapter. I figure it's canon for Yukino to be quicker on the romantic uptake.
Intents and Purposes
By: Dreiser
Two
It was funny how people could change each other's lives. Yukino hadn't been shy before she met Haruka but she wasn't particularly outgoing either. She didn't make any attempts to speak with the students in her class anymore than they did to her. Meeting Haruka had changed something in her though, maybe it was Haruka's friendliness, how she kept her promise and didn't ignore her at school but slowly Yukino found herself speaking to the other students. Soon they lost whatever intimidation they felt due to her intelligence and her parents influence and they simply spoke to her as one person would another.
That innocent remark of Haruka's, that she should become President of Aries and Haruka would be her Otome, it remained in Yukino's mind and when it was suggested in her tenth year that she should run for Student Council President, she thought it would be a good way to see if this sort of work was something suited to her. She could only glean so much from observing her father here and there and he had been a Senator for so very long that her mother often said politics had warped his opinion of public service. Though her father did love the good he did at his job he wasn't one to encourage his daughter to go into the same line of work due to the problems he had over the years.
Despite her much younger age, Yukino easily won the election and the one after that and the one after that. Her last three years at school were spent heading up the Student Council and though it was time consuming work that often left her frazzled Yukino found she enjoyed it. Much like her father she loved helping people and she loved the idea she had the power, the influence, to lend that help and for the first time she found her intelligence put to a good use, her mind challenged by the problems set before her as President.
If Yukino was busy with her duties at the Student Council President than Haruka was just as busy in her training for the sponsorship exam for Garderobe. Five years had passed since Yukino first met Haruka and in that time Haruka hadn't wavered in the slightest in her desire to be an Otome. In fact, at the end of this year the younger girl would be taking the sponsorship exam given by the Aries military and as that time grew nearer Haruka was able to spend less of her time with Yukino, much to the brunette's disappointment. She saw the blonde daily though, Haruka faithfully came over to her house after she finished her training, no matter how late the visits might come.
Rolling her neck in a circle and sighing at the familiar sound of a pop, Yukino removed her glasses and rubbed at her eyes. Her eyes were either getting worse or she becoming tired. Glancing at the clock at the wall, Yukino squinted and saw it was just past five o'clock. Deciding she had done as much work as she could without making any mistakes due to lack of sleep or just plain inattention, Yukino pushed herself away from the desk and started to gather up her things, preparing to finally head home.
Just as she went about doing this, the figure of her Vice President, Blanche Liang, walked through the door. "President," she greeted.
"Blanche," said Yukino with a smile. "Did you need something?"
Shaking her head no, Blanche hopped up to sit on top of one of the desks. There was an easy confidence the older girl had that reminded Yukino so much of Haruka. Perhaps that's how she came to depend so much on her in her role as Vice President. "Graduation is coming," Blanche remarked casually, a little too casually, and Yukino raised an eyebrow in a curious but silent demand. Laughing at this, Blanche leaned back on her hands and said, "I'm no good at fooling you, am I?"
"You tend to be obvious," said Yukino quietly, though her tone was fond.
"The dance," said Blanche in dramatic tones that came out in a large breath. "Don't you think you should go? It is our last one. I always accepted your reasons for never going before because you're younger than everyone else in our grade but this time--"
"My reason is the same," said Yukino firmly. "I don't want to go and no one has asked me."
"Quinton would if he wasn't sure you'd say no," Blanche informed eagerly and Yukino's eyes widened in surprise on hearing this.
"You're lying, and I told you, I don't want to go," Yukino enforced strongly, picking up her bag and quickly exiting the Student Council room before Blanche could follow after her. One step after another, faster and faster, Yukino rushed through the halls until she was at the front of the school and greeted by her family's driver who was always so very good and patient to wait until she was done with school business to take her home. Thanking him as was her automatic habit and feeling a genuine gratitude for his patience with her, Yukino sat in the back of the car and stared out the window, watching the scenery of Caeles as they slowly left school grounds.
It was immature and a little childish, what she did to Blanche, running out on her but Yukino knew if she stayed in that room her Vice President would wheedle her down just like she always did and she might end up agreeing to accompany Quinton to the dance and while he was a very kind person that wasn't something she particularly wanted. At first she thought her reluctance to date and spend time with boys was due to the fact she was younger than everyone else in her class but the more time she spent with her friends the more she realized the way they spoke about the boys they liked was the way she felt about Haruka. That same preoccupation, her thoughts always drifting to the person, day dreaming about them, analyzing every little thing they did, she did that with Haruka, just like she wanted to spend all her time with her. Resting her forehead against the car window, she watched as they neared the grounds of her family estate and wondered how Haruka felt about her. Haruka readily said she was her best friend, that she cared for Yukino above all her other friends, but somehow she doubted that the blonde shared the same feelings that she was experiencing.
The car came to slow stop and Yukino was immediately greeted by the distant shout of her name when she exited the vehicle. Adjusting her bag over her shoulder, she smiled at the sight of Haruka hanging upside down on one of the large branches of the tree that had been their usual meeting place since they day they met. The blonde was dressed in her training clothes that consisted of a pair of loose black pants and a matching black tank top that was tucked in. When Yukino reached her, Haruka grinned down at her, placing her hand lightly on top of the brunette's always haphazard head of hair.
"Working late?" asked Haruka knowingly.
"Just a little," said Yukino, setting her bag on the ground. Staring up at her friend, she wore a rueful expression and chided, "You'll get dizzy if you hang upside down like that for too long, Haruka-chan. It can't be good for you."
Releasing a dismissive noise, Haruka swung back and forth, her body moving up for several abdomen crunches. "It only makes you dizzy until you get used to it. Trust me, it's good training," said Haruka wisely.
"If you say so," said Yukino skeptically. "I just don't think it's safe, you being up that high."
"Otomes fly right?" Haruka pointed out, doing several more crunches. "I can't be scared of heights if I want to be one. In fact, I can't be scared of anything. An Otome needs guts! That's what my parents say."
Having heard this argument several times from her friend, Yukino murmured her agreement and sat underneath the tree. Her bag in her lap, she rooted through it until she found the folder filled with Student Council work she had just abandoned. Flipping through the pages, Yukino tried to focus on the task at hand but once again found her focus drifting. Listening to the sounds of Haruka's quiet grunts and counting as she continued her exercise routine, Yukino once again found her thoughts focused on the other girl. Haruka was an anomaly to Yukino, everyone else in her life was easily figured out, even her own parents, but as simple as Haruka appeared on the outside she had a strength, an intense drive, and a focus that Yukino envied. She knew Haruka's reasons for wanting to become an Otome, how she admired the good they could do in the world, and how she felt that the life of an Otome was suited to her more than anything else but Yukino couldn't quite grasp the idea of Haruka, boisterous, outgoing, and thoroughly opinionated Haruka, deferring to someone for the rest of her life. Making them the center of their world, their choices the most important, forever following their lead, entwining her life totally with theirs to the point if they died, she died with them.
Sometimes Yukino thought maybe her desire to go into public service had less to do with helping people and more to do with the idea of keeping Haruka with her. Just the thought of Haruka devoting her life to someone else, protecting them, dying for them, it filled her with an inexplicable misery and Yukino just knew she couldn't let that happen. She did take comfort in the fact that she enjoyed her work as Student Council President and she was good at the job, well liked in the position, and this made her feel a little less selfish in her desires because at least she would be helping other people, even if they didn't know the driving force behind her ambitions.
At first, she thought she'd grow out of it. This attachment she had to Haruka, she thought it had to do with the fact Haruka was her first friend, and the person who brought her out of her shell, who helped her discover what she was truly good at in her work with the Student Council, but as she got older and that attachment only strengthened Yukino knew this wasn't something she would grow out of. It wasn't something caused from her immaturity and youth, it was something far deeper than that, and Haruka's world had become her world and Haruka's life her own life. The way she felt for the younger girl, it was something out of those old fairy tales she used to read, with the handsome knight and the beautiful princess but with Haruka and herself in their places. Haruka had saved her from a life of loneliness and isolation and Yukino loved her for that, she loved her desperately, and she knew that the blonde loved her as well.
Only it wasn't the same sort of love.
Yukino was so lost in thought that she didn't notice the soft thump of Haruka dropping from the tree to her feet with a slight stumble or hear the blonde grumble as she fell back on her hands. She did, however, notice when Haruka's concerned face appeared just underneath her own, worry floating in violet eyes as Haruka peered up at her.
"Yukino," Haruka said her name in that solemn way she often had, the tone that brooked no arguments, the one that told Yukino how very serious the blonde was taking the matter at hand. "What's wrong?"
"Haruka-chan," Yukino breathed her name more than she said it. She wanted so very badly to tell Haruka what she had been thinking, to talk to her about all these feelings she had been bottling up over the past year, ever since she realized the reason she couldn't like any of the boys in her class was because she already liked Haruka. That was what she wanted but it wasn't what she was going to do, saying something like that to Haruka, it would be disastrous, and it wouldn't do any good. She loved her friend endlessly but Yukino wasn't a fool, she knew the differences between them. Haruka was brilliant in sports, anything physical, and when she studied she tested well in school though she hardly enjoyed it but she wasn't the most intuitive or clever person. Besides that, Haruka was younger than her, just twelve and if Yukino barely understood what she felt at fourteen and in her twelfth year of schooling how could Haruka when she was only in her sixth? It just wasn't possible to tell her the truth of things, no matter how much she might want it. "It's nothing."
"Are you sure?" asked Haruka earnestly, her eyes squinting as she studied the older girl.
Placing her work to one side and leaning back against the tree, Yukino's gaze was lidded and before she could help herself, she was reaching out to touch Haruka's cheek. The blonde's skin was soft to her touch, like the silk sheets her father brought from far off Zipang on a diplomatic mission, and Yukino wanted to sigh when she touched it, the feeling was that pleasing to her. "I'm sure," she said quietly, giving a smile of reassurance to Haruka whose brow furrowed when Yukino said this.
That frown remained on Haruka's face for what seemed like countless moments then she grumbled under her breath, flopping down on the ground and resting her head in Yukino's lap. Gazing up at the brunette, Haruka had something of a scowl on her features but it was softened by the fondness in her tones as she declared, "You'll have to tell me eventually." Haruka pointed a decisive finger up at Yukino, wagging it at her as if she were some sort of naughty puppy to be punished. "You know that's true."
"Yes, Haruka-chan," Yukino said in agreement because she knew it was the truth. That eventually she would have to tell Haruka these thoughts but not now, not anytime soon, not until she was sure that the blonde would understand what she needed to say. Brushing her fingers through thick blonde bangs, rubbing the fine hairs between her fingers, she murmured, "I can't keep secrets from you."
"But you do," said Haruka obstinately, staring at Yukino, her brow furrowed again. "You're so mystagogy! You've gotten that way the past year." Rolling over slightly, she examined the other girl under a close gaze and she said, "Is it because you're about to graduate?"
"Mysterious," corrected Yukino automatically, a smiling tugging on her lips. Fixing Haruka's verbal follies had become second nature to her and Yukino wondered if they were separated and Haruka became an Otome and she wasn't with her, would Haruka's Master do it for her? Or would they roll their eyes and make fun of her behind her back like so many did at their school?
"I said that!" Haruka huffed, cheeks puffing out and Yukino's smile grew larger and she had to hold herself back from kissing the blonde's head, she found the act that endearing. "Well?" Haruka demanded rather impatiently. "Is that it? You worried about graduating?" When Yukino didn't reply her frown deepened and Haruka looked off in the distance, her voice quiet as she said, "Lately I don't know what you're thinking. It bugs me because, before, I always did for the most part. Even with you being smarter than me." Yukino started to protest this and Haruka silenced her with a hard stare and continued, "I know I still mix up my words and I don't catch on so fast, even with people my age, but especially not with the older ones in your class but I still think I could help you if you'd let me."
"Haruka-chan," Yukino's voice cracked as she said her name and her vision blurred with tears. "I'm sorry."
Everything was a blur and it wasn't just from the tears because she felt Haruka's hands, warm and callused but so gentle as they removed her glasses, wiping away her tears with the pads of her thumbs. "Don't cry," Haruka's gruff instruction met her ears and it was terribly kind despite its tone and Yukino cried again. She loved the blonde so very much, she couldn't imagine her life without her, so why did it have to be so very confusing? Why did she have such fear for the first time in her life? Maybe because for the first time, she had something that she was actually afraid of losing. "Don't cry," Haruka said again and her breath was hot on Yukino's skin as she pulled the brunette into a hug. Yukino collapsed gratefully into the blonde's arms, wondering if it was her Otome training that made them so very strong yet comforting in their hold, but thinking it more had to with the fact it was simply Haruka. Hands moved in a slow steady circle on her back, rubbing it in a tentative movement, and she vaguely heard Haruka mutter, "Yukino never cries. Something must be wrong."
And it was true, she never cried before this, not anytime that she could remember at least. Yukino tended to think everything through logically, that was how problems were solved and that's how she lived her life. Then she met Haruka and she wasn't someone who did things logically, she operated on instinct, her heart, often asserting the validity of going with her guts. Something Yukino theorized was akin to guessing but without any fear of failure. Part of her wanted things to go back to how they used to be, before she realized what these feelings for Haruka meant, but she knew that was impossible, once a person moves forward in their life mentally or emotionally it's next to impossible to move backwards. Not that she really wanted to, it was good to move forward, and she hoped Haruka would move with her. The girl was certainly fixated on her future goals and Yukino seemed to be a large part of that. Whenever Haruka discussed her life as an Otome she immediately declared that Yukino would be her Master as if there was no other choice in the matter.
Maybe there wasn't, maybe they had a great guiding force that would keep them together, that was what Yukino was hoping because imagining life without Haruka at her side was too unbearably lonely. "Haruka-chan," she finally murmured, pulling away from the blonde's embrace and looking into concerned violet eyes that silently asked for the truth, that wanted to know why she had been crying, and she wanted to tell Haruka but she couldn't. "I'm sorry." Pulling away, she rubbed at her eyes, feeling utterly ridiculous and knowing she should be stronger than this, that she was stronger than this. "I didn't mean to cry all over you."
Rolling her eyes and giving a dismissive mumble, Haruka tilted her head and gazed at Yukino rather suspiciously. "You don't cry," she stated quite plainly. "Tell me what's wrong. It is graduating, isn't it? You don't know what university to go to? Or you're afraid you'll be left alone like you were before because I'll be at Garderobe?"
"No," Yukino shook her head, staring at the grass, picking at it absently. She wasn't scared of that anymore. These past years on the Student Council and her friendship with Haruka had brought her out of her shell. As much as she would miss Haruka if they were apart she knew she would be able to make friends at whatever university she attended despite being younger than the other students. It wasn't so much the temporary separation from the other girl while they were at their respective schools that frightened her so much as the possible permanent one if Haruka became an Otome and Yukino wasn't her Master. "It's not that. I think things are just changing too fast but I'm not worried about being alone." Hearing this, Haruka's face screwed up into an expression of utter confusion and Yukino couldn't help but laugh fondly and reach out to touch the small frown lines that appeared on the other girl's face which deepened upon hearing her laughter. "Haruka-chan will always be my most important person," she found herself confessing.
"Me too," Haruka muttered, giving a noise of agreement. "Yukino will always be mine too."
Forming a soft smile at this, a wave of happiness suffusing her on hearing these words, Yukino knew however much it hurt, however confusing things became, it was worth it to wait for Haruka because in the end, she was sure they would feel the same. It was just that she was a little bit quicker when it came to realizing things but she was sure Haruka would catch up in the end.
She always did.
---
As the sponsorship exam for Garderobe neared Yukino saw less and less of Haruka as she became focused on her training. They still met one another daily but the visits were shorter in length, sometimes just a few minutes, but Yukino was always grateful for them, to know as much as being an Otome meant to Haruka she was just as important to the blonde. Her own graduation was approaching and after having the required meeting with the academic advisor at Caeles Academy she applied to her chosen universities. While she had a good deal of confidence in her ability to be accepted to all of the schools one in particular mattered to her more than the others and it was this school which caused her mother to confront her on the application choices, a look of concern on her features.
There was a knock on her bedroom door and moments after she said come in, Yukino was greeted by her mother hovering in the doorway, hand against the wall and a worried frown tugging at her mouth. "Yukino," said Ume slowly, taking a step into the room. "I was just speaking with your advisor from school. She tells me you've applied to Windbloom University?"
"Yes," said Yukino, a matching frown forming as she sat on her bed, observing her mother as she approached. "I'd like to go there."
"May I ask why?" Ume inquired and she sounded genuinely perplexed. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she neatly smoothed out her skirt and continued, "I realize that you probably want to leave the nest and see the world but you must realize because Aries is the only truly free and democratic nation that our universities are the finest. We allow our students to speak their minds and without the enforced class system created by nobles and royalty everyone who wishes it is granted the finest education our country can offer. Windbloom is a lovely country but in comparison to Aries, you must recognize how it is lacking."
She could be completely honest with her mother and tell her the reason she was considering Windbloom above all others was the fact it was strategically located next to Garderobe but she didn't want to do that. Yukino knew her mother would look down on such reasoning and she was sure that the older woman was partially aware this had to be part of her motivation anyway. In the end, Yukino decided that it was best to tell her mother the truth but in a more subdued and careful explanation.
"I love my work on the Student Council," said Yukino and there was a warmth, a happiness, in her voice as she said this because it was the truth. She did love her work and she wanted to continue it when she attended university. "I want to see if I would be suited to following in father's footsteps, becoming a public servant, an elected official as he is. I think a good way of finding out would be to attend a school that has a good foreign relations department and Windbloom University has the best in all of Earl."
"Your father is a Senator for Aries, not for the other countries in Earl," said Ume kindly but a bit pointedly.
"I know that but doesn't he work with the other countries? Doesn't everyone on the Senate?" Yukino pursued doggedly, not wanting to give up her choice for schooling so easily. It was true she wanted to be at Windbloom University to be closer to Haruka but she wasn't lying when she said they had the best foreign relations department out of all the schools she was applying to.
"Yukino," Ume said her name with a heavy sigh. "Are you sure this isn't about Haruka? She's been saying ever since she was a child that she wants to attend Garderobe and I know very well she's taking the sponsorship exam next month. I know you're attached to her but planning your entire future around another person at your age isn't the wisest decision--"
"It's not about Haruka," said Yukino, wincing inwardly because she knew that a portion of that was a lie. "This is about me and what I want to do. I'll admit that I'm glad she'll be close to me, that I'll be able to see more of her if I attend Windbloom but what I want to do, it can't be about just Haruka. I want her to be a part of it, just like I want her to always be in my life, but I'm the one who will be studying at the university, Mother, not Haruka, and I want to do that at Windbloom."
"Very well," said Ume, giving another sigh and rising to her feet. "Your father and I have always encouraged you to go as far as you could with your education, to be independent in your decision making, and if you truly believe that the next logical step in your advancement is to study at Windbloom University then we'll support that decision."
"Thank you, Mother," said Yukino gratefully, her eyes shining.
"Just be sure to tell those other students which country has the most brilliant and fair minded political system," Ume insisted, smiling when Yukino laughed at her words. "Yukino," she murmured her name soft and sweetly, the love she felt clearly evident as she said it. "Always know that we are proud of you and nothing you do could ever change that."
"I know," said Yukino and her cheeks were red with a blush.
Chuckling at this, Ume headed out the door only to poke her head back through and remark, "Your father and I are also quite fond of Haruka. He's planning on supporting the equal marriage act that is currently proposed in the Senate."
"Mother!" Yukino exclaimed, her entire face red and a mortified expression forming on her features.
"As I thought," said Ume, sounding altogether pleased, clucking her tongue. "It does have to do with Haruka."
With that said, she was finally gone, the door clicking shut behind her to leave Yukino thoroughly embarrassed and wondering exactly how much her parents knew about her developing feelings for Haruka and not really wanting to discover the answer.
---
Spinning the long staff in her grip, Haruka narrowed her eyes and watched as her mother circled around her. The words of her father echoed in her mind, to always charge in, to have guts, to attack first but they warred with the advice of her Sensei and her mother that said to think about what path it is you wanted to take before you headed down it. In the end, Haruka blocked the thoughts from her mind and she moved on pure instinct. Whenever she fought she couldn't think, not too much, because if she did then the fear could set in, the fear of being hurt, of hurting others, of not being good enough but as long as she kept moving and pushed these thoughts from her mind, if she focused on feeling, instinct, and her guts she would find the courage deep down inside her and she'd always succeed.
And so she fell to the ground in a crouch, sweeping the long staff in her hand and connecting with her mother's shins, causing the other woman to fall onto her back. An expulsion of air and a grunt of pain passed Kaoru's lips and before she could respond, Haruka's weight was on her chest and she felt the steady press of the long staff against her throat. Looking up at her daughter and recognizing that triumphant look as the same one Daisuke always had whenever he was sure that he was the winner, Kaoru narrowed her eyes.
"Training is over," grumbled Kaoru, her hands gripping her daughter's long staff. "You win this session."
The grin that Haruka wore on her face only increased though it shifted with laughter as her mother leapt to her feet and gathered her up in a hug, her fingers moving insistently at her daughter's side, tickling her until she was red in the face. After Haruka gave a gasp of surrender, she ceased her attack and the girl gazed up at her mother, an admiring sheen in her eyes as she asked, "So? Was I good enough?"
Releasing a thoughtful noise and rotating her back, Kaoru studied her daughter's hopeful expression. Part of her wanted to tease just because it was terribly endearing in the way that Haruka would huff in indignation just like her father but she couldn't quite bring herself to do that, not with those eyes so bright and eager.
"You did very well," said Kaoru solemnly, placing her hand on top of Haruka's head and smiling at her. "I'm sure you'll pass the sponsorship exam." She paused to study Haruka for a long moment and not for the first time she wondered if perhaps her daughter wasn't somehow influenced by her parents careers, if they somehow made her feel as if this was the only path for her, going into the military to serve and protect their country. "Honey," she said slowly, her energetic tones unusually gentle. "Are you sure this is what you want? The life of an Otome isn't an easy one. It's even harder than the life your father and I have being in the army. We take orders, just like an Otome does but it isn't the same. Our lives are our own, we can get married, have personal lives, romantic relationships, and Otomes serve their Masters until retirement. There isn't time for anything else and your life would always be linked to your Master's."
"Meister Blomquist saved you, she saved everybody," Haruka said quietly. "I watched it on the television. You would have died fighting that slave but she showed up and she saved everybody and I want to be like her. I want to be able to save people in trouble too."
"Haruka," Kaoru said her name in a murmur. "You don't have to be an Otome to do that."
"I want to do it," said Haruka stubbornly, her jaw setting and her eyes getting an all too familiar determined gleam. "I'm the one who's got to take all the tests so I'm the one who should decide, shouldn't I? And I want to do it."
"She sounds convinced," Daisuke's voice floated into their small family training room and they turned to greet the General who stood in the doorway, pulling his tie loose from around his neck and rumpling his uniform in the process. Walking towards his wife and daughter, his gaze was steady with Haruka's and he said, "Your mother is right, you know. You don't have to be an Otome to protect people. She and I do that in our work for the army and so do the members of our national police force."
"I want to be an Otome," Haruka enforced, folding her arms over her chest for emphasis. Her eyes moved suspiciously from one parent to the other and she said, "Is this a erotological game? Are you trying to trick me into saying it's not what I want?"
Knowing that Haruka meant to say psychological, her parents exchanged an affectionate glance between them, and together they lay their hands on the top of her hand, ruffling her hair and wearing proud smiles. "Then be the best," said Daisuke, his tone warm but commanding.
Releasing a noise of strong affirmation, Haruka nodded her head and grinned widely.
"Why don't you take a shower?" Kaoru suggested, sliding her hand from Haruka's head to hold her husband's. "We'll have dinner ready by the time you're done. Maybe even have a second helping prepared since you've worked so hard at training today."
Offering her thanks to her mother, Haruka turned on her heel and ran out of the training room, her feet pounding a path on the stairs while she headed up to her room. She knew it all had to be some sort of mind game her parents were putting her through, asking her if she really wanted to be an Otome after she trained years for it, and with the sponsorship exam coming up just next month. Haruka supposed she understood their reasons though. It wouldn't be good for someone to take the sponsorship exam, pass, get into Garderobe, and spend the tax dollars of the Aries citizens only to drop out or never become an Otome at all because they weren't sure.
Haruka was sure though, she knew that she wanted to be an Otome ever since she watched Meister Blomquist save her mother and all those people. She wanted to have that power, that ability, to save many and all with her own hands. She knew it wasn't easy, living the life of an Otome, but there was that promise she made with Yukino, it helped her feel better about things. Taking orders wasn't something that Haruka really liked but she was used to it with her parents and dealing with the military, moving from place to place, and reading that book about the Otome with Yukino, learning of the devotion they had to have for their Master, the absolute obedience they had to grant them, and the fact that their lives were tied together, it was a little scary. What if her Master wasn't a good person? What if they made bad decisions? What if they weren't doing things that were best for Aries but instead for themselves? Haruka wasn't sure she could live with that even if she had the power of an Otome.
The idea that Yukino could be her Master though, that made her feel better, more confident, about the idea. She knew Yukino was the sort of Master she would want to serve, would want to protect with her own life, because Yukino was smart and kind and she always thought about others. Yukino would be the best sort of person an Otome could serve and Haruka wanted to be her Otome, she wanted the two of them to be together, to use Yukino's intelligence and her strength to make Aries a better country and protect it from its enemies.
Stepping into the shower and sighing at the feel of the cool water on her skin, Haruka thought about what it would be like to be away from Yukino. She had seen her nearly every day since they first met and when she got into Garderobe she would be in an entirely different country. It was true that Aries and Windbloom shared a border but it wasn't the easiest nor quickest of trips and Garderobe wasn't exactly known for having an easy training program. Otome trainees spent almost all of their time at the academy, barely having breaks, which meant that for all the years she would be attending Garderobe she wouldn't be seeing much of any other country but Windbloom.
Being away from Yukino would be hard, even harder than being away from her parents because Haruka was used to not seeing a lot of them. They were often away on missions and their work, and she had learned how to live without them, the tricks of not being lonely, forcing herself to not think about missing them but it would be different, not seeing Yukino. They had been together constantly for five years now and Yukino was the only person she would truly call a friend. Haruka wasn't stupid, she knew people sometimes mocked her for her habit of mixing words up and the way she barreled into situations without thinking first but Yukino never did. She would kindly correct and she would chide and she would suggest other methods of doing things but she never made Haruka feel stupid and she would miss that and her terribly if they were apart. Just like she'd miss Yukino's sweet voice that always seemed to have a quiet affection for her in every word she spoke.
Gentle wasn't something Haruka was used to. She grew up not having a lot of nice things, roughing it out, living in sometimes the most dismal of circumstances because of where her parents were stationed and Yukino was the first soft thing, the first gentle thing, Haruka ever encountered in her life. Her parents were never cruel but they never babied her, they taught Haruka it was best to be hard, rough, to form a barrier around yourself and to never take things personally, to take criticisms for what they were and Haruka did that. It never really bothered her, people making fun of her the way they sometimes did but she couldn't help but love Yukino for the fact that she was different, that she was gentle, that she was soft, that she was the first person to treat her with compassion. Haruka didn't want to be apart from that, not even for an instant, even if it was to fulfill the promise they made to one another.
Turning off the water and drying herself with a towel, Haruka wiped at the foggy surface of the mirror and studied her reflection. There would be people at Garderobe, people who shared her ambition, her dedication, but despite that she didn't think any of them could ever mean as much to her as Yukino did. There was only one of her in all of Earl and she would be far from Haruka's reach once she entered the Otome training academy. Sometimes she thought that being away from Yukino would be the hardest part of all and the true test of her will.
---
The night before the Garderobe sponsorship exam Haruka insisted her parents let her spend the night at Yukino's. She arrived at the brunette's house with a bag slung over shoulder and a crooked grin on her features. Yukino was surprised to see the younger girl, sure that she would be busy spending the day in nonstop training, but she greeted her with a happy cry, pulling her inside the house. Supper had long since passed and they hid themselves away in Yukino's room, where Haruka flopped down on the bed with a loud groan, crawling over to Yukino and resting her head in her lap when the older girl sat down.
They remained that way for a long time, content to be in one another's company, not feeling a pressing need for conversation. Yukino studied Haruka's features, normally so energetic and full of life, peaceful and at rest, the blonde's eyes fluttering shut. Sifting her fingers through the younger girl's golden hair, enjoying its silky texture, Yukino wondered if Haruka would let another girl do this when she was at Garderobe. She heard things about the Otome academy and she knew quite well romance with men was forbidden to the Otome as it took away their powers but it was supposedly common for them to find comfort in each other. She didn't want to think about that though, Haruka being with another girl, someone who wasn't her, resting her head in their lap as it was her habit to do with Yukino but it wasn't like she had the right to stop such a thing from happening. They weren't a couple and she wasn't even sure the extent of her feelings for the other girl. Yukino loved her, yes, but she didn't understand what that love really was and anytime she started to imagine the things she wanted to do with Haruka…
"Yukino's face is red," Haruka's lazy voice drifted up to her and Yukino blinked and her hand jerked up, touching her cheek which seemed to burn underneath her fingertips. Haruka lifted her hand, touching the same cheek Yukino just had, her touch tender and curious in its inspection. "What were you thinking about?"
"Nothing," said Yukino quickly.
Snorting at this, Haruka remarked, "You're always thinking about something, Yukino. You're an inspectoral."
"Intellectual," corrected Yukino, laughing when Haruka scowled at her.
"I know," Haruka huffed, her cheeks puffing out slightly. "You're not going to tell me are you?"
Shaking her head, Yukino played with Haruka's bangs, pushing them back on her forehead and smiling as Haruka rolled her eyes at this gesture. "Are you nervous about the exam?" she asked. "You've been training for so long. Ever since we first met."
"Even before that," said Haruka proudly. "I started when I was five."
"You knew you wanted to be an Otome when you were five?" asked Yukino, impressed that it was an ambition that had stayed with the blonde for so long. Most small children would forget a thing like that or just move onto another dream but the fact that Haruka steadfastly trained to achieve her goal since that age said something very important about her personality. She wasn't someone who lost interest in something easily nor was she type to give up or give in, once she was given a task, she did everything she could to achieve it. That was why Yukino had little doubt that Haruka would succeed tomorrow because, really, there wasn't any other option.
"That was when I saw Meister Blomquist save my mother," Haruka said, peering up at Yukino. "When I saw her defeat that slave I wanted to be like that, to have that same power to help people, and I've been trying my hardest so I could be that kind of person."
"I know you'll pass, Haruka-chan," murmured Yukino, a soft smile on her features.
Silence and Haruka kept her gaze steady with Yukino's and there was an earnest look on her features and that solemn light in her eyes, the one that always served to make the older girl's stomach have a nervous flutter in the very nicest sort of way. "I'll miss you," Haruka said and her voice was that gruff tone it always had when she was embarrassed but Haruka said the words anyway and Yukino was sure it was because the blonde felt it was something she needed to hear. "I'll miss Yukino more than anyone when I'm at Garderobe."
"Haruka-chan," Yukino whispered her name and there was a wealth of emotion in the way she said it. Her vision was blurry and she knew she had tears in her eyes but she refused to let them fall and worry the blonde with her outburst. Forming her best cheerful smile as she smoothed a lock of hair from Haruka's forehead, Yukino murmured, "You won't have to."
In response, Haruka blinked in confusion and Yukino scooted away from the blonde, causing Haruka to roll over on her stomach, observing as Yukino opened the drawer to the small bedside dresser. Removing a neatly folded letter, she handed it to the blonde whose brow was furrowed as she accepted the letter and carefully opened it. Her eyes moving down the page, getting wider with each word she read, a huge grin broke out on her features and she released an exuberant shout, tossing the letter aside and wrapping Yukino up in a hug. The brunette laughed in happy surprise at Haruka's embrace, her arms sliding around the other girl's waist and sinking into her touch, feeling utterly satisfied to be this close to Haruka, to know that she caused that happy reaction.
"Yukino!" Haruka's boisterous accusation rang in her ears and Yukino smiled wider on hearing it. "Why didn't you tell me you were applying to Windbloom University? I've been debiting our separation."
"Dreading," said Yukino in an euphoric whisper. "And I have too. That's why I applied."
"We'll be able to see each other now," said Haruka, pulling away from Yukino, her hands firm on the older girl's shoulders, grinning and wearing an eager expression as she looked into the brunette's eyes. "We won't have to be apart."
"That's right," said Yukino and she tried to hold back the tears but they still rang through in her tones but they didn't have a chance to fall, not with Haruka wrapping her up in another hug. Losing herself to the overwhelming comfort that Haruka's embrace always granted her, Yukino closed her eyes and buried her face in the crook of the blonde's neck.
"I'll be sure to pass," Haruka declared confidently, her breath hot on Yukino's skin and her hands firm as they held her close. "I'll pass and we can keep the promise we made. You'll see, Yukino. One day I'll be your Otome."
To be continued...
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