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The topic of this post has to do with the fact that over the Christmas holiday I got a random email from a Professor at Webster University for their Creative Writing program basically sort of recruiting me. Asking if I had ever thought of entering a writing program at a university and blah blah I have potential and really just flattering stuff that I won't even try to repeat here because I sort of doubt the validity of it despite the fact that their credentials check out. Anyway, I guess they found some really fucking old original fics I had floating around the internet from my days at University of Missouri St. Louis in their English program along with my deluge of fanfic that's online and they think it's halfway decent.
I'm due to graduate in March from Sanford Brown for their Paralegal Studies program and to be honest, I don't feel any major pull towards doing that. Not that I feel any major pull towards doing ANY of the jobs I've had be it through my education in computers and law or through my fucking endless work history in retail to bartending to fixing motorcycles. I sort of drift aimlessly. But I really do love writing and I wayyyyyyy back when, before I got kicked out of my parents house at sixteen and I became a fucking bitter realist type of person, I wanted to be a writer. Not anything specific because I love writing in general. Not a fucking journalist though. Fuck that shite. But a fiction writer or a reviewer or just a lame ass person who writes greeting cards. Whatever. It works for me. I guess getting this random email is making me stop and think.
Okay. Here's the deal with me and higher education.
I wanted to be a writer but I had parental issues and I was on my own. Somehow, despite this, I had my mother's nagging voice echoing in my ears, "You'll never be able to get a job with a degree in creative writing. Who hires people for that?!" And I fucking chickened out then ended up wandering all over the country from LA to NYC to New Orleans to Chicago.
Ugh. Chicago. I shall never return there. I hate that city and not just because I love the Cardinals dearly and I think Oprah has a huge head.
Back onto the topic of higher education though. I've only gone to school for things that I THINK will get me fucking employment. Not stuff I feel particularly drawn to or inspired by. Just shite that I study the fucking trends of employment and read up on and figure, "Hey! This will get me a nice and boring job that will lead to promotions and stability!" Yes, yes, I lack great dreams. Fuck off. I'm not alone. lol. Anyway... that's why I went to Illinois Institute of Art for the fucking useless BFA in Multimedia & Web Design. Because at the time that was all the rage and there were tons of jobs for it.
I graduated in 2002 and guess what? Ohhh, the market died. Completely died. It's fucking deader than Abraham Lincoln and now I feel like a Futurama writer because they're obsessed with making Lincoln references and jokes. Weird. Thus I ended up back in St. Louis where I returned to my tried and true occupation of retail. Whee. And I just fucking did that with no real point. Then my mother says to me, "Maybe you should get an associates degree in something."
[Insert drone music of boring ideas which sounds like Kenny G]
Research away! I look through all the different vocational schools around and the job ads and the placement programs and yadda yadda yadda and I end up picking Paralegal Studies at Sanford Brown because everyone and their mother is hiring for legal secretaries, paralegals, legal word processors, and so on. Plus my BFA in computers applies really well to the field. Again, I decide to go to school because I think I can get a job in this and I know I can. The thing is, I haven't really been trying that hard to find one to be honest because I honestly don't care. I almost rather be in retail management and talk to people and sell shit and just sort of enjoy myself than stare at fucking legal papers.
Such a fucking waste of money.
I've talked to a surprising amount of people about this. First was Michi, of course, and then my little brother because we're freakishly close. Then, you know, Pip, Tracy Girl, and the rest. I haven't called Pat for some reason. I should do that. I haven't talked to him in awhile it seems. I seem to either call him way too much or not enough. rofl. And then during Christmas itself I spoke to first my father then my mother about the email and the possibility of returning to school.
I was really fucking shocked about it because they both were so supportive. My mother especially and she even apologized for what she said to me way back when. Which shocked me but it was so cool of her because that stuff that went down when I was a kid... it's so long gone, you know? We've been fine with each other since I was like twenty one or so. But I was touched.
Bottom line? I want to do this. It's basically the ONLY thing I've wanted to do since I was a kid and I basically let my fucking realist nature be like, "You can't do what you love for a job. It ruins it." And you know what? Maybe it fucking does but dude, at least I'll care about my work! lol. I really obsess on my fanfic way too much and I think that would be just wonderful in this career.
I'm swimming with ideas though. What is so weird about this email, and it might also be why I got it in the first place but I'm not sure since the Professor hasn't replied to me yet, is that I recently applied for a job at Webster University in their Alumni department. It's a clerical job applicable for my degree at Sanford Brown and if I get that job then my god! Free tuition!
If I don't get that job then I'm 99.9% sure I'll return to UMSL and get my BA in Creative Writing there because they have a program that is just so much better than Webster. If I went to Webster I would be forced to take a lot of classes that have nothing to do with writing and is all analysis and that's well and good but it's not what I want. If I took all the writing courses I could get at Webster I would have to take [Insert Gagging Noise] poetry writing classes.
I.Fucking.Hate.Poetry.
But if I went to UMSL there are endless options! From fiction, nonfiction, playwriting, technical writing, feature writing, business writing, public relations writing... oh yeah, baby! It goes on and on. And it's really so goddamn sad I'm excited about this, isn't it?
So that's where I am. When I graduate from Sanford Brown in March I now plan on attending either Webster University or UMSL in their BA program for Creative Writing, entering school during the summer semester of 2006. It's sort of weird and overwhelming and I wonder if I'm just doing the wrong thing but then I sort of hear Michi yelling at me in her cute logical way this will be the ONLY thing I've done for myself in terms of spending money on my education. That this is the only thing I truly care about and want to learn and I feel I can excel at.
Lame lame lame but I'm excited.
Plus I have even lamer super nerd ideas that can work in my web design crap. I already have dreiser.net for my fanfics but recently I was thinking of getting another domain which would have even more webspace, around 5 GBs actually, and have it just be a random sort of entertainment review mecca or something. You know, where I sort of did lame ass commentary like I do here but on the cds I buy, tv shows and movies I watch, and comics I read. Going back to school I could create this site on a sort of more professional entertainment angle and also use it to publish my original works of fiction and otherwise online. Hello cool online resume of my work!
Well, I think it would be cool. But I'm a super nerd. Oh yeah. I'm totally not sure what I should use for a domain name because the domain name will also be the site name. Right now the one idea I have that I think suits me and is sort of funny is thenerdiestgirl.com which is a parody off of this super fabulous and super gay old timey preteen girls book series by Enid Blyton called The Naughtiest Girl which, I assure you, is totally as lesbian as it sounds since it takes place at an all girls boarding school.
If you have any better domain names let me know. Hell, let me know what you think about this entire scheme of mine about my impending plans for selfish reedumucation while you're at it. Just for the fun of it here's a sample of the endless supply of weird ass music I'd put on my new webspace that I'm currently listening to because my god, this song is fucking motivational. It makes me feel like I could actually do this crap and be successful at it. Ahhh, I have so much love for the bitchy punk 80's cartoon rock diva music.
Takin' It All by The Misfits (From the 80's cartoon Jem and the Holograms): http://s43.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=21P1NCOUHKHT019UJRI6XNFVNJ
That's right people. Jem and the Holograms. lol. I would totally upload all of the mp3s I have from this series permanently on the new website for people to download and enjoy because my god… without this cartoon I would have never began my life long love affair with punk music. Yes, it's all thanks to the sheer dykey brilliance of The Misfits and their wonderfully bitchy performances.
My god how boring was Jem next to Pizzazz? Black hole of boring Tina boring! Hee. Sorry. I had to insult Tina from L Word again. I felt the uncontrolled urge. Anyway, if you want to hear more Jem songs and just reflect on the fucking coolness of this classic cartoon here's a great website:
http://www.jemunlimited.com
I'm due to graduate in March from Sanford Brown for their Paralegal Studies program and to be honest, I don't feel any major pull towards doing that. Not that I feel any major pull towards doing ANY of the jobs I've had be it through my education in computers and law or through my fucking endless work history in retail to bartending to fixing motorcycles. I sort of drift aimlessly. But I really do love writing and I wayyyyyyy back when, before I got kicked out of my parents house at sixteen and I became a fucking bitter realist type of person, I wanted to be a writer. Not anything specific because I love writing in general. Not a fucking journalist though. Fuck that shite. But a fiction writer or a reviewer or just a lame ass person who writes greeting cards. Whatever. It works for me. I guess getting this random email is making me stop and think.
Okay. Here's the deal with me and higher education.
I wanted to be a writer but I had parental issues and I was on my own. Somehow, despite this, I had my mother's nagging voice echoing in my ears, "You'll never be able to get a job with a degree in creative writing. Who hires people for that?!" And I fucking chickened out then ended up wandering all over the country from LA to NYC to New Orleans to Chicago.
Ugh. Chicago. I shall never return there. I hate that city and not just because I love the Cardinals dearly and I think Oprah has a huge head.
Back onto the topic of higher education though. I've only gone to school for things that I THINK will get me fucking employment. Not stuff I feel particularly drawn to or inspired by. Just shite that I study the fucking trends of employment and read up on and figure, "Hey! This will get me a nice and boring job that will lead to promotions and stability!" Yes, yes, I lack great dreams. Fuck off. I'm not alone. lol. Anyway... that's why I went to Illinois Institute of Art for the fucking useless BFA in Multimedia & Web Design. Because at the time that was all the rage and there were tons of jobs for it.
I graduated in 2002 and guess what? Ohhh, the market died. Completely died. It's fucking deader than Abraham Lincoln and now I feel like a Futurama writer because they're obsessed with making Lincoln references and jokes. Weird. Thus I ended up back in St. Louis where I returned to my tried and true occupation of retail. Whee. And I just fucking did that with no real point. Then my mother says to me, "Maybe you should get an associates degree in something."
[Insert drone music of boring ideas which sounds like Kenny G]
Research away! I look through all the different vocational schools around and the job ads and the placement programs and yadda yadda yadda and I end up picking Paralegal Studies at Sanford Brown because everyone and their mother is hiring for legal secretaries, paralegals, legal word processors, and so on. Plus my BFA in computers applies really well to the field. Again, I decide to go to school because I think I can get a job in this and I know I can. The thing is, I haven't really been trying that hard to find one to be honest because I honestly don't care. I almost rather be in retail management and talk to people and sell shit and just sort of enjoy myself than stare at fucking legal papers.
Such a fucking waste of money.
I've talked to a surprising amount of people about this. First was Michi, of course, and then my little brother because we're freakishly close. Then, you know, Pip, Tracy Girl, and the rest. I haven't called Pat for some reason. I should do that. I haven't talked to him in awhile it seems. I seem to either call him way too much or not enough. rofl. And then during Christmas itself I spoke to first my father then my mother about the email and the possibility of returning to school.
I was really fucking shocked about it because they both were so supportive. My mother especially and she even apologized for what she said to me way back when. Which shocked me but it was so cool of her because that stuff that went down when I was a kid... it's so long gone, you know? We've been fine with each other since I was like twenty one or so. But I was touched.
Bottom line? I want to do this. It's basically the ONLY thing I've wanted to do since I was a kid and I basically let my fucking realist nature be like, "You can't do what you love for a job. It ruins it." And you know what? Maybe it fucking does but dude, at least I'll care about my work! lol. I really obsess on my fanfic way too much and I think that would be just wonderful in this career.
I'm swimming with ideas though. What is so weird about this email, and it might also be why I got it in the first place but I'm not sure since the Professor hasn't replied to me yet, is that I recently applied for a job at Webster University in their Alumni department. It's a clerical job applicable for my degree at Sanford Brown and if I get that job then my god! Free tuition!
If I don't get that job then I'm 99.9% sure I'll return to UMSL and get my BA in Creative Writing there because they have a program that is just so much better than Webster. If I went to Webster I would be forced to take a lot of classes that have nothing to do with writing and is all analysis and that's well and good but it's not what I want. If I took all the writing courses I could get at Webster I would have to take [Insert Gagging Noise] poetry writing classes.
I.Fucking.Hate.Poetry.
But if I went to UMSL there are endless options! From fiction, nonfiction, playwriting, technical writing, feature writing, business writing, public relations writing... oh yeah, baby! It goes on and on. And it's really so goddamn sad I'm excited about this, isn't it?
So that's where I am. When I graduate from Sanford Brown in March I now plan on attending either Webster University or UMSL in their BA program for Creative Writing, entering school during the summer semester of 2006. It's sort of weird and overwhelming and I wonder if I'm just doing the wrong thing but then I sort of hear Michi yelling at me in her cute logical way this will be the ONLY thing I've done for myself in terms of spending money on my education. That this is the only thing I truly care about and want to learn and I feel I can excel at.
Lame lame lame but I'm excited.
Plus I have even lamer super nerd ideas that can work in my web design crap. I already have dreiser.net for my fanfics but recently I was thinking of getting another domain which would have even more webspace, around 5 GBs actually, and have it just be a random sort of entertainment review mecca or something. You know, where I sort of did lame ass commentary like I do here but on the cds I buy, tv shows and movies I watch, and comics I read. Going back to school I could create this site on a sort of more professional entertainment angle and also use it to publish my original works of fiction and otherwise online. Hello cool online resume of my work!
Well, I think it would be cool. But I'm a super nerd. Oh yeah. I'm totally not sure what I should use for a domain name because the domain name will also be the site name. Right now the one idea I have that I think suits me and is sort of funny is thenerdiestgirl.com which is a parody off of this super fabulous and super gay old timey preteen girls book series by Enid Blyton called The Naughtiest Girl which, I assure you, is totally as lesbian as it sounds since it takes place at an all girls boarding school.
If you have any better domain names let me know. Hell, let me know what you think about this entire scheme of mine about my impending plans for selfish reedumucation while you're at it. Just for the fun of it here's a sample of the endless supply of weird ass music I'd put on my new webspace that I'm currently listening to because my god, this song is fucking motivational. It makes me feel like I could actually do this crap and be successful at it. Ahhh, I have so much love for the bitchy punk 80's cartoon rock diva music.
Takin' It All by The Misfits (From the 80's cartoon Jem and the Holograms): http://s43.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=21P1NCOUHKHT019UJRI6XNFVNJ
That's right people. Jem and the Holograms. lol. I would totally upload all of the mp3s I have from this series permanently on the new website for people to download and enjoy because my god… without this cartoon I would have never began my life long love affair with punk music. Yes, it's all thanks to the sheer dykey brilliance of The Misfits and their wonderfully bitchy performances.
My god how boring was Jem next to Pizzazz? Black hole of boring Tina boring! Hee. Sorry. I had to insult Tina from L Word again. I felt the uncontrolled urge. Anyway, if you want to hear more Jem songs and just reflect on the fucking coolness of this classic cartoon here's a great website:
http://www.jemunlimited.com