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Bartending: The Final Frontier
Money is something everyone requires and I'm certainly not any different. That being said, my ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-girlfriend who used to own a local gay and lesbian dance club still does me some props by calling me and giving me random bartending jobs. It's on and off and she usually only calls when people ditch work and they desperately need someone to fill a shift. I got a call like that on Saturday night and it was for the one place I thought I'd never get a chance to see much less work at.
There's a fairly old G&L club in St. Louis called Magnolias, or Mags for short, and being as it's fairly old not a lot of people go there. Well, at least the lower level. The bottom portion is where the lesbian dance club is and that's the pretty much dull area of the club. Above them, however, is an exciting fun place that until yesterday I figured I would never get to see. What is it? Ah, nothing much. Just a gay man leather bar S&M club. Bwahaha. Somehow their bartenders got sick, three out of four anyway, and they really needed someone to just serve drinks.
It wasn't that different actually. But you know, when I lived in NYC one of my roommates, Rachel, and god... not to drift off but I think I have almost 20 friends named Rachel. I shall pause to mentally count.
:::Two minutes pass:::
Damn. I only know 17 Rachel's. I'm a fucking liar. rofl. Anyway, my roommate in NYC, one of the 17 Rachel's, worked and still continues to work at a pretty exclusive S&M club. Because I have a morbid curiosity to find out about anything I've haven't seen/experienced for myself I visited her once or twice or thrice or fourice... ehhh. That's definitely not a word. Mags gay man leather club wasn't that big a change from her club. Then again, if you pause to consider the basics of the S&M subculture they tend to follow very restrictive rules. I mean, not to be ironic but it's all about being set into specific roles. Sort of boring if you ask me.
But I worked at the gay man leather club for $15 an hour, which totaled to $75 since I worked from 11 p.m. till 3 a.m., two cases of beer and a bottle of Effen vodka. Nice deal, I think. I didn't get that good of tips but I did better than I thought. Ended up with $87.25 and yes, some wankers do in fact tip in change. I so hate that. It's not that bad but considering when I worked at Cicero's on Friday night I got $219 in tips it was a bit of a let down. I was expecting that though. Hello, lesbian at a gay man club. They're not diggin' that. lol.
In more depressing news my grandmother died early Sunday morning. The thing that's odd is I was never really close with my grandmother and once I became older that feeling just increased. I moved out of my parents house fairly early in life and after a short period of freaking out my mom ended up being totally fine and very supportive about my sexuality. Once that happened, we became friends in some strange form. I say strange because she's still my mom. She's not trying to pull that poser "cool mom" crap. Hell no. She's a first grade teacher for gods sake! I still get lectures from everything to my weird hairstyles, my lack of cooking, to my utter refusal to allow myself to be photographed.
Since we got in that mother/daughter friend vibe I found out about her childhood with my grandmother and it wasn't pretty in the least. My grandmother was not only verbally abusive, which I already knew from our family functions, but she apparently liked smacking my mom around quite a bit. I could go on but it's pretty unpleasant stuff. I know it's mean but in a way I'm glad she's dead. My mother has only been able to deal with her abusive childhood in the past six years or so and she's still... I don't know. If resolution on it would be 100% then my mother is maybe, at best, at 1%. Though I know it's cruel I think with my grandmother being dead she might be able to deal better.
It doesn't help that my Aunt Carol has been pulling constant guilt trips about my mother not visiting my grandmother enough ever since her health has worsened. The crappy thing is my aunt saw first hand how badly my mother had it, even going so far to admit she had a lot to do with my mother's horrible childhood. Apparently anytime my aunt would do something wrong the blame somehow would come back to mother who would then get the beating for it. Made no fucking sense. I can see my aunt's point of view about visiting more because there's this unspoken obligation towards dying family members no matter how badly they treated you. But at the same time, my grandmother tortured my mother mentally and physically and my aunt knows it. She has admitted it, she has even confessed guilt in allowing my mother to take punishments meant for her then she goes and tries to make my mom feel guilty for not visiting more than once a week?
Fuck that.
So my grandmother is dead and yes, I am sad because no matter who it is death is still a sad thing. I can't ever find joy in it no matter who is the victim. At the same time I'm happy for my mother because maybe now she can start to deal with her childhood and be truly free of this weird sick hold my grandmother had on her. I might complain about my mother but I will readily admit to being a Mama's girl.
I find it impossible not to be as she has supported me consistently in every aspect of my life for as long as I can recall. The best and funniest example of this has to be when I first got into comic books at 10 years old and upon discovering that I enjoyed reading them my mother immediately got me subscriptions to X-Men, Captain America, The Avengers, and Spider-Man because she wanted to encourage a love for reading. It seems silly but given the fact I've been made fun of many times by family members, friends, and others for loving comics her support means a lot to me. Especially since she never had a condescending attitude in regards to it. Yes, she is indeed a cool lady.
Now I'll end this post with something lighthearted, silly, and fun. For those who don't know, St. Louis has the second biggest Mardi Gras celebration in the USA (right after New Orleans, natch) because we have a large French population/history in this city. It's a mighty great time and they're already starting commercials for the various parties upcoming. Suzanna and I were driving back from Cicero's on Friday after my bartending gig and one such advertisement came on the radio. Here's the ad ala stlouismardigras.org...
"Mardi Gras goes to the dogs... and cats, fish, hamsters, and many more animals as pet lovers bring their faithful companions to the annual celebration of pets. Registration begins at Clementine's at the corner of Allen and Menard at 10:00 a.m. Sponsored by Beggin' Strips, the parade steps off at 1:00 p.m. from Clementine's and makes its way through Soulard concluding at Soulard Market Park. Beggin' Strips provides "doggie bags"® for the first 1,500 registrants. Animal participants are subject to the approval of Mardi Gras Inc and the St. Louis Department of Animal Control based on appropriateness, temperament and health.
Cost: Free, however, participants are encouraged to make a $5 donation to the Open Door Animal Sanctuary, a no-kill animal shelter. "
The thing that made Suzanna freak out and the one thing NOT in that advertisement is the fact that this is actually a fashion show as well as a parade. You dress your little pet up in all sorts of crazy Mardi Gras inspired gear and whoever is the most fabulous wins a series of prizes. In case I haven't mentioned it, my girlfriend is totally enamored with our puppy Vlad and adores buying him doggie fashion items. The little guy now has 15 collars and 11 leashes with more definitely on the way. And yes, she has considered buying him awful doggie sweater jacket type clothing but I put my Dr. Marten boot down. None of that! But a leather collar with upside down pink triangle rhinestones? Oh, that's fabu! lol. Gotta love that.
Suzanna is very hyped about this event and lord help me, I think she's even going to get her gay boys involved with designing an outfit for Vlad. I swear, our dog will end up being the gayest thing ever at this rate but hey... I can't help but smile goofily at how much she loves him now. When I first brought up wanting a dog she was fairly negative, then indifferent, then mildly supportive, and ever since we actually bought him she's completely enamored. I can't really explain how happy I get that she finally understands why I love animals and my own pets so very much.
The event is happening on January 30th so be on the look out for some uploaded pix of Vlad covered in beads or some freakishly garish outfit for his fashion parade appearance. Heh.
There's a fairly old G&L club in St. Louis called Magnolias, or Mags for short, and being as it's fairly old not a lot of people go there. Well, at least the lower level. The bottom portion is where the lesbian dance club is and that's the pretty much dull area of the club. Above them, however, is an exciting fun place that until yesterday I figured I would never get to see. What is it? Ah, nothing much. Just a gay man leather bar S&M club. Bwahaha. Somehow their bartenders got sick, three out of four anyway, and they really needed someone to just serve drinks.
It wasn't that different actually. But you know, when I lived in NYC one of my roommates, Rachel, and god... not to drift off but I think I have almost 20 friends named Rachel. I shall pause to mentally count.
:::Two minutes pass:::
Damn. I only know 17 Rachel's. I'm a fucking liar. rofl. Anyway, my roommate in NYC, one of the 17 Rachel's, worked and still continues to work at a pretty exclusive S&M club. Because I have a morbid curiosity to find out about anything I've haven't seen/experienced for myself I visited her once or twice or thrice or fourice... ehhh. That's definitely not a word. Mags gay man leather club wasn't that big a change from her club. Then again, if you pause to consider the basics of the S&M subculture they tend to follow very restrictive rules. I mean, not to be ironic but it's all about being set into specific roles. Sort of boring if you ask me.
But I worked at the gay man leather club for $15 an hour, which totaled to $75 since I worked from 11 p.m. till 3 a.m., two cases of beer and a bottle of Effen vodka. Nice deal, I think. I didn't get that good of tips but I did better than I thought. Ended up with $87.25 and yes, some wankers do in fact tip in change. I so hate that. It's not that bad but considering when I worked at Cicero's on Friday night I got $219 in tips it was a bit of a let down. I was expecting that though. Hello, lesbian at a gay man club. They're not diggin' that. lol.
In more depressing news my grandmother died early Sunday morning. The thing that's odd is I was never really close with my grandmother and once I became older that feeling just increased. I moved out of my parents house fairly early in life and after a short period of freaking out my mom ended up being totally fine and very supportive about my sexuality. Once that happened, we became friends in some strange form. I say strange because she's still my mom. She's not trying to pull that poser "cool mom" crap. Hell no. She's a first grade teacher for gods sake! I still get lectures from everything to my weird hairstyles, my lack of cooking, to my utter refusal to allow myself to be photographed.
Since we got in that mother/daughter friend vibe I found out about her childhood with my grandmother and it wasn't pretty in the least. My grandmother was not only verbally abusive, which I already knew from our family functions, but she apparently liked smacking my mom around quite a bit. I could go on but it's pretty unpleasant stuff. I know it's mean but in a way I'm glad she's dead. My mother has only been able to deal with her abusive childhood in the past six years or so and she's still... I don't know. If resolution on it would be 100% then my mother is maybe, at best, at 1%. Though I know it's cruel I think with my grandmother being dead she might be able to deal better.
It doesn't help that my Aunt Carol has been pulling constant guilt trips about my mother not visiting my grandmother enough ever since her health has worsened. The crappy thing is my aunt saw first hand how badly my mother had it, even going so far to admit she had a lot to do with my mother's horrible childhood. Apparently anytime my aunt would do something wrong the blame somehow would come back to mother who would then get the beating for it. Made no fucking sense. I can see my aunt's point of view about visiting more because there's this unspoken obligation towards dying family members no matter how badly they treated you. But at the same time, my grandmother tortured my mother mentally and physically and my aunt knows it. She has admitted it, she has even confessed guilt in allowing my mother to take punishments meant for her then she goes and tries to make my mom feel guilty for not visiting more than once a week?
Fuck that.
So my grandmother is dead and yes, I am sad because no matter who it is death is still a sad thing. I can't ever find joy in it no matter who is the victim. At the same time I'm happy for my mother because maybe now she can start to deal with her childhood and be truly free of this weird sick hold my grandmother had on her. I might complain about my mother but I will readily admit to being a Mama's girl.
I find it impossible not to be as she has supported me consistently in every aspect of my life for as long as I can recall. The best and funniest example of this has to be when I first got into comic books at 10 years old and upon discovering that I enjoyed reading them my mother immediately got me subscriptions to X-Men, Captain America, The Avengers, and Spider-Man because she wanted to encourage a love for reading. It seems silly but given the fact I've been made fun of many times by family members, friends, and others for loving comics her support means a lot to me. Especially since she never had a condescending attitude in regards to it. Yes, she is indeed a cool lady.
Now I'll end this post with something lighthearted, silly, and fun. For those who don't know, St. Louis has the second biggest Mardi Gras celebration in the USA (right after New Orleans, natch) because we have a large French population/history in this city. It's a mighty great time and they're already starting commercials for the various parties upcoming. Suzanna and I were driving back from Cicero's on Friday after my bartending gig and one such advertisement came on the radio. Here's the ad ala stlouismardigras.org...
"Mardi Gras goes to the dogs... and cats, fish, hamsters, and many more animals as pet lovers bring their faithful companions to the annual celebration of pets. Registration begins at Clementine's at the corner of Allen and Menard at 10:00 a.m. Sponsored by Beggin' Strips, the parade steps off at 1:00 p.m. from Clementine's and makes its way through Soulard concluding at Soulard Market Park. Beggin' Strips provides "doggie bags"® for the first 1,500 registrants. Animal participants are subject to the approval of Mardi Gras Inc and the St. Louis Department of Animal Control based on appropriateness, temperament and health.
Cost: Free, however, participants are encouraged to make a $5 donation to the Open Door Animal Sanctuary, a no-kill animal shelter. "
The thing that made Suzanna freak out and the one thing NOT in that advertisement is the fact that this is actually a fashion show as well as a parade. You dress your little pet up in all sorts of crazy Mardi Gras inspired gear and whoever is the most fabulous wins a series of prizes. In case I haven't mentioned it, my girlfriend is totally enamored with our puppy Vlad and adores buying him doggie fashion items. The little guy now has 15 collars and 11 leashes with more definitely on the way. And yes, she has considered buying him awful doggie sweater jacket type clothing but I put my Dr. Marten boot down. None of that! But a leather collar with upside down pink triangle rhinestones? Oh, that's fabu! lol. Gotta love that.
Suzanna is very hyped about this event and lord help me, I think she's even going to get her gay boys involved with designing an outfit for Vlad. I swear, our dog will end up being the gayest thing ever at this rate but hey... I can't help but smile goofily at how much she loves him now. When I first brought up wanting a dog she was fairly negative, then indifferent, then mildly supportive, and ever since we actually bought him she's completely enamored. I can't really explain how happy I get that she finally understands why I love animals and my own pets so very much.
The event is happening on January 30th so be on the look out for some uploaded pix of Vlad covered in beads or some freakishly garish outfit for his fashion parade appearance. Heh.
no subject
I'm sorry about your grandmother's passing, but I think the childhood you described your mother having is more of a tragedy.
Sincerely, Allaine