Yahoo Chat Transcript: Withering Hurts

[dreiser]

DISCLAIMER: The names of all fanfic authors, titles, remarks, and ships have been altered for their own protection. This Yahoo Chat transcript contains strong snarking and bitchy remarks. People lacking a strange sense of humor should not read this transcript.


TRANSLATIONS
Fanfic Authors: Jane Austen, Emily Bronte, Bronte Sisters
Fanfic Titles: Withering Hurts, Persuading Love and Friendship In The Lady Susan of Mansfield Park In Regards To Sensible Emma of Northanger Abbey
Fanfic Ships: 18th Century Romance, Victorian Literature
The Word Fanfic: Novel

FANFIC SNARK TRANSLATIONS
dreiser7: "Bad sex scenes." - "Sage writing techniques."
dreiser7: "Ellipse abuse." - "Pathetic fallacy."
sulkygeek: "It may grow up to be gay, you know." - "It may grow up to be a novel of ill fortune, you know."
sulkygeek: "Gay fanfic that thinks it's bisexual when it's 42." "Only a shoddy excuse of a novel thinks it's a new release when it's on its fortieth printing."


dreiser7 [12:09:46 AM]: Dude
dreiser7 [12:09:46 AM]: Quick novel game
dreiser7 [12:09:48 AM]: Name this author!
dreiser7 [12:09:50 AM]: Persuading Love and Friendship In The Lady Susan of Mansfield Park In Regards To Sensible Emma of Northanger Abbey
sulkygeek [12:10:00 AM]: Uhmmm...Emily Bronte?
dreiser7 [12:10:16 AM]: :::buzzzzzz::: Sorry!
dreiser7 [12:10:19 AM]: Jane Austen
dreiser7 [12:10:20 AM]: lol
sulkygeek [12:10:23 AM]: Oh Jesus
dreiser7 [12:10:35 AM]: I know, it's 18th Century Romance so it makes it worse somehow
dreiser7 [12:10:42 AM]: That title is strangely acceptable as Victorian Literature to me
sulkygeek [12:10:45 AM]: Why must Jane Austen do this?
sulkygeek [12:10:47 AM]: lol
dreiser7 [12:10:53 AM]: I dunno
sulkygeek [12:10:55 AM]: Dude! It's TOTALLY a Victorian Literature title
dreiser7 [12:10:58 AM]: Isn't it?
sulkygeek [12:11:04 AM]: Victorian Literature titles are like that
dreiser7 [12:11:06 AM]: It calls of Victorian Literature
sulkygeek [12:11:07 AM]: rofl
dreiser7 [12:11:36 AM]: You know, I feel sorry for that novel... because it doesn't feel like a 18th Century Romance novel. Inside, it wants to be a Victorian Literature novel but Jane Austen is ignoring who it really is.
dreiser7 [12:11:53 AM]: It will have to go through a 18th Century Romance to Victorian Literature novel transition to live happily
dreiser7 [12:12:05 AM]: Painful journey
dreiser7 [12:12:08 AM]: Filled with sage writing techniques
dreiser7 [12:12:13 AM]: And pathetic fallacy
sulkygeek [12:12:28 AM]: Jane Austen's suppressing its true Victorian Literatureness
sulkygeek [12:12:36 AM]: Jane Austen's just so misguided
dreiser7 [12:12:38 AM]: Jane Austen won't accept who it really is
dreiser7 [12:12:43 AM]: That poor novel
dreiser7 [12:12:43 AM]: lol
sulkygeek [12:12:49 AM]: Jane Austen's going to traumatize it
sulkygeek [12:12:54 AM]: It may grow up to be a novel of ill fortune, you know
dreiser7 [12:12:56 AM]: It's already traumatized
sulkygeek [12:13:10 AM]: Only a shoddy excuse of a novel thinks it's a new release when it's on its fortieth printing
dreiser7 [12:13:13 AM]: And what makes it worse is the fact that people will praise Jane Austen for suppressing its true nature
dreiser7 [12:13:16 AM]: It will feel like an outcast
dreiser7 [12:13:20 AM]: Poor poor novel
sulkygeek [12:13:28 AM]: Now it'll never reach its true Victorian Literature potential
dreiser7 [12:13:31 AM]: Never
dreiser7 [12:13:39 AM]: Maybe one of the Bronte Sisters can come and save it
sulkygeek [12:13:40 AM]: Damn Jane Austen for robbing the world of it
sulkygeek [12:13:47 AM]: Maybe, but it might be too late
dreiser7 [12:13:50 AM]: And say to it, "I see you are really a Victorian Literature novel. Come with me. I can edit you."
sulkygeek [12:13:53 AM]: It might be too far gone
sulkygeek [12:14:00 AM]: It might not be able to go back from the edge
sulkygeek [12:14:03 AM]: rofl
dreiser7 [12:14:06 AM]: rofl
dreiser7 [12:14:12 AM]: This is a funny conversation
dreiser7 [12:14:19 AM]: If it wasn't so bitchy to Jane Austen I would love to post it on LJ

Comments

haha haha - /me bursting in fits of laughter

[(Anonymous)]

Once again, I take my hat off u. HEHEHEH. You're amazing. ~Kel w/o LJ

Re: haha haha - /me bursting in fits of laughter

[dreiser.livejournal.com]

Dude, it's so bad. Sulky and I worked on editing that whole conversation at like midnight yesterday for almost an hour and I'm still snickering over it. lol. I'm glad someone besides us finds this weird crap entertaining. It reassues me somehow. Plus I hate the work of the actual Jane Austen so it's oh so wonderful to be able to mock her in this subverted fashion.