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TITLE: A Thousand Glimpses
SERIES: All My Children
AUTHOR:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dreiser
EMAIL: dreiser7@yahoo.com
YAHOO ID: dreiser7
MY WEBSITE: http://www.dreiser.org/
CONTENT: F/F romance. Bianca/Reese. Breeze.
SUMMARY: Reese Williams had experienced a thousand glimpses of the life she always wanted but until she met Bianca Montgomery she never thought she could have it for herself.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but my disbelief at how OOC some crazy Bammers write Reese in fanfic.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm serious about the OOC people. It's nuts what some people have written about Reese. She's physically and verbally abusive which is just wrong to associate with her. Yeesh.
This chapter ends on a cliffhanger because, you know, it's a soap opera fanfic and shit happens. It's also filled almost entirely with Bianca, Reese, and Miranda family time which is something I'm going to put into a lot of the chapters just because it sort of bothers me that some fics don't really have Miranda show up at all. Which bugs me since I really do think that Bianca would be a super involved mother, even if they unfortunately don't always present it that way on the show.
Paper boats are nifty. Especially life sized ones. I'm shocked this dude didn't sink but it's still really cool.
More music because I remain lame that way. Rachael Yamagata's new album is made of awesome. Here are songs from it: Accident by Rachael Yamagata : Sidedish Friend by Rachael Yamagata
A Thousand Glimpses
By: Dreiser
Nine
Manners had been hammered into Reese from a very early age. Her mother came from old money, practically prehistoric her father would joke, and since the time she could speak Reese was attending endless society functions. Usually bored out of her mind and relying upon her father and his new money sense of humor to keep her from dying from said boredom.
Talking to people was a skill that could be learned and must be learned well according to her mother. Ridiculous as it was, she often quizzed Reese on the fine points of having a conversation. The great art of making small talk and being able to charm people into falling all over your feet so they would donate to this popular charity and support that trendy cause and in the end make you look that much more important in the society pages. There was little her mother loved more than seeing herself being praised in the printed word. Part of Reese thought perhaps that's why she ended up as a world renowned musician, merely for the accolades she attained. That was petty of her though. When it came down to it Reese had to admit, whatever her problems with her mother, that music was her great love.
Perhaps more than her father and certainly more than Reese herself.
While she hated those lessons her mother had given, how specific mannerisms had been drilled into her enough that now they were second nature, Reese did find them perversely useful as an adult. Especially when it came to impressing potential clients. She hated it at times, how it came almost instinctively, this need to admire and praise, a cajoling sort of flirtation in how she dealt with those who might hire her firm but it wasn't something she could quite control, it came to her as if inherent and Audrey insisted it was good for business. So much that she often wanted Reese be the one to meet with clients just so she might charm them into accepting their services.
This feeling put Reese in charge of their meeting with Sig. Guy Passeri, an Italian media mogul who wanted to relocate and expand his corporate office from Naples to Milan. He was searching for a building design that would be both innovative but eye catching and Sig. Passeri didn't do anything by small measures, requiring that whatever was constructed should swiftly turn into a tourist attraction for its design alone.
Art and imagination must pour from every inch of the structure, he declared on their initial meeting, and the way he said this, the enthusiasm behind it left Reese with a vivid impression of what had to be done for this project. Something unusual, something unique, something that just couldn't be seen anywhere else in the world and left people in awe that such a building existed and the artist in her was exhilarated at the idea of having this kind of opportunity. It was the chance to create a piece of history almost and Reese badly wanted to be a part of that.
The manners came out in full force along with the charm and by the end of their two hour meeting, her entire staff suitably spying as they exited the conference room with Audrey, Maurice, and Claude, they were nothing but smiles and they knew Reese had done it again. Once Sig. Passeri left the building and the staff knew it was safe a series of impromptu celebrations spread across the building and Reese, giddy from her success, found herself automatically dialing the person she wanted to share her happiness with the most.
"Hello?" Bianca's voice, light and sweet, echoed in her ear.
"Just hello? No, I missed you so much, thank god you're calling?" replied Reese, automatically slipping into the playful banter that seemed to come effortlessly in all her conversations with the other woman. She wasn't sure exactly why that was because it wasn't the norm for Reese. In fact, it was anything but usual for her to feel comfortable teasing and joking with another person as much as she did with Bianca. She could be that way with her father, Audrey, and Maurice at times but she had known them for years. But just in a matter of days Reese easily fell into a trend of having kidding conversations with Bianca and even more surprising was how much she enjoyed them. Making jokes and giving slight verbal pokes to the brunette made her smile if only for the droll or exaggerated outrage she would receive in response. If she didn't truly sense that Bianca enjoyed the interaction as much as she did Reese would almost feel like the boy in grade school who picks on the girl he's infatuated with simply to gain her attention and garner a reaction. "I'm crushed under the high heel of your indifference."
"I'm wearing flats," said Bianca, her voice dry as the desert, making Reese grin, pleased their tradition for banter lived on.
"That disappoints me for some reason," admitted Reese, nodding at some of her architecture staff and smiling in response to their congratulations. Walking into her office, she quietly shut the door and remarked, "I pictured you looking marvelously tall."
"Sorry, for now I'm at a normal height," Bianca laughed. There was a pause then she said, "You seem to be in an especially good mood. What's up?"
"I just helped land a large contract for our firm," said Reese, walking over to her window. She resumed what had become a habitual stance since meeting Bianca, standing in front of the long windows and gazing down the street where the brunette lived, looking out as if she could somehow see the other woman by doing this. "It's the kind of project most architects have wet dreams about."
"Congratulations," said Bianca warmly. "Why do I think your nosy coworkers are throwing parties as we speak?"
"Several have sprung up around the office," revealed Reese with a laugh. "Sad to say but we give into almost any chance to party around here and this might be one of the rare occasions where the situation actually warrants it."
"You should join them," encouraged Bianca and the way she said this made Reese think the brunette was a bit dismayed at Reese missing out on the parties when she was part of the reason for them. "I'm betting you deserve to celebrate more than anyone."
"Why do you think I called you?" questioned Reese and though her tone was teasing there was a definite truth to her words. One that she was sure Bianca recognized from the soft sound of pleasure the other woman released on hearing this. Though she was a little embarrassed to say these words, to give so much away, getting this response from Bianca made it all worth it for Reese because it meant perhaps the brunette shared some measure of the feelings that Reese was developing for her. "Would you go out with me tonight?" Reese went on, her voice gentle and candid in its affectionate intent. "To celebrate as ordered?"
A pause and Reese wondered if she had finally asked too much, displayed more interest then Bianca was ready for. Then came the other woman's voice, clear with its regret as she murmured, "Today is Adele's birthday. I gave her the weekend off as part of my gift to her."
For a few moments Reese was confused why this meant Bianca couldn't help celebrate her occupational victory but then she realized that the other woman thought any plans she was making excluded Miranda. While she would admit to being selfish enough to want some time alone with Bianca she hadn't intended to imply that she didn't want the child to be a part of their celebration. It was only recently, in the past two years, that Reese began to seriously consider motherhood but she honestly enjoyed being with the little girl and it almost hurt that Bianca somehow thought this wasn't the case. Pushing these feelings aside, Reese cleared her throat and said with the same good natured offense she used when accusing Bianca of doubting her story telling skills, "Why can't I celebrate with Miranda? Were my voices that bad?"
Silence and Reese knew with it that she had surmised correctly. Then Bianca laughed, joyful and relieved, and with it Reese found what little hurt feelings she had disappearing in the wake of the other woman's happiness. "Don't you dare bring up your voices," said Bianca in a touch of embellished irritation. "I've had to listen to you don't read it funny like Reese nonstop all this week. You've ruined story time for me, lady."
"Aw," said Reese with overdone sympathy. "Don't be jealous of my superior story telling skills. Like I told you before, it's an innate talent."
"I'll be sure to let Miranda know," said Bianca in droll tones. She was quiet for a moment, then she said, "I was thinking of taking her to L'Ecurie du Bois Rond tomorrow for some horseback riding. Would you like to go with us? I'm not sure if that's a good celebration but--"
"It sounds great to me," interrupted Reese, trying her best to keep the eagerness from her voice and positive she was failing. "But I have to warn you, I've never seen a horse in person much less ever ridden on one. I don't know how much help I'll be."
"I guess that means you'll have the chance to be jealous of my equestrian skills," Bianca teased.
"I'd say so," replied Reese with a chuckle. The door to her office swung open and she was greeted with the sight of Audrey wearing one of the tacky birthday hats they purchased for Maurice's birthday party and holding two flutes filled what she assumed was champagne. Reese's eyes widened at the sight of her business partner and not wanting to stop her conversation with the brunette, she pointed at her cell phone and mouthed Bianca's name, grinning when Audrey lifted her flute in a toast before offering Reese the other flute, blowing a kiss when the blonde accepted it and exiting her office in a jaunty strut. Taking a sip, smiling at the bubbles tickling her nose, Reese drawled, "I just got a personalized champagne delivery. You see why I like my coworkers, despite the nosiness?"
"Very nice," Bianca praised and Reese felt an absurd temptation to preen at the way the other woman said this. There was the muted sound of shuffling then she heard Bianca murmur Miranda's name, telling her she could pick whatever they liked for dinner as long as it wasn't just a selection of candies. "Sorry," said Bianca wryly. "It's getting close to dinner and Miranda gets restless when she's hungry."
Not wanting to wait until tomorrow to see the brunette, Reese said, "What if we go out for dinner together? Miranda's choice."
"Are you sure?" asked Bianca hesitantly. "I imagine you're the guest of honor at all those parties around your office."
"I rather celebrate with the both of you," said Reese quiet but strong in her emphasis, leaving no doubts in Bianca's mind about her wishes. A sudden bout of insecurity seizing her, hating herself for giving too much away, Reese added quickly, "If that's what you want."
"I can't think of anything I'd want more," Bianca replied and her voice was so heartfelt that it made Reese blush. There was a slight pause then she said in teasing tones, "Are you sure you're all right to walk over here or are you tipsy on champagne?"
"I've had one drink!" exclaimed Reese, doing a fair job of sounding disgruntled. "I'm starting to become insulted by the way you assume I can't hold my liquor. I'll have you know that my people come from a robust English stock and we can drink with the best of them."
"I'll keep that in mind for New Years," remarked Bianca wryly.
Privately pleased that the other woman was thinking that far ahead, Reese finished off her flute of champagne, giving a slight sneeze at the bubbles and placing it on her desk as she headed out the door to her office. "Just so you know, I'm not tipsy while walking and I'm heading over to your house as we speak. What has Miranda decided for dinner? A smorgasbord of the unhealthy? Because I'm down with that."
"Oh, you are, are you?" said Bianca playfully. "I think you're plotting to be a bad food influence on my daughter. As if it isn't bad enough that you've made a mockery of my story telling skills by cornering the market on funny voices."
"Is it my fault that Miranda didn't know what she was missing?" asked Reese in overly innocent tones, jogging across Avenue Secretan and making a right turn down Avenue Mathurin Moreau. "I thought parents wanted to expose their kids to the best things in life."
"Until they're no longer included among them," said Bianca absently and Reese heard her respond to a question Miranda posed. She returned a few moments later and asked in a kind inquiry, "I'll see you soon?"
"I'm almost there," said Reese, a smile in her voice and on her features.
"We'll have a surprise for you," Bianca promised and before Reese could question further the brunette ended the phone call.
Curiosity seizing her and having dressed for the meeting in her most comfortable pair of black pants and matching leather shoes, Reese felt it safe to break out into a mild run and she soon came to a stop in front of Bianca's door, knocking on it. Hands on her hips, she tilted her head back, looking up at the ugly pepto bismol pink arches and noting with a bit of consternation that she was breathing harder. Maybe some additional trips to the gym were in order. Especially if she was going to be spending more time with Bianca and Miranda as she hoped. Reese had the feeling that even with Miranda being as well behaved as she was keeping up with a small child could be physically taxing. Distantly she wondered if maybe that was how Bianca maintained her own figure, by simply running after her daughter.
She couldn't pursue this line of thought because the front door opened and Miranda was standing in front of her, a proud look on her features along with a bright and beaming smile that caused Reese's heart to ache, it was so like her mother's. The little girl was holding a small plate in her hands and she thrust it out towards Reese as she proclaimed, "This is for you!"
"Well, thank you," said Reese, laughing happily and accepting the plate as she walked inside the house. Adjusting her leather satchel briefcase over her shoulder, she closed the front door, and turned her attention to what Miranda handed her. On the plate was a crepe made with a dark brown batter, filled with slices of banana, and topped with whipped cream that was arranged to make a smiley face. A wafting scent of chocolate came from the treat and crouching down so she was eye level with Miranda, she asked, "Did you make this?"
Nodding enthusiastically, Miranda said, "With Mommy."
"It's a chocolate, banana, and whipped cream crepe," said Bianca, smiling as she moved to stand behind Miranda. Her left hand lightly combed through her daughter's hair as the child looked up at her. "They're Miranda's favorite. She thought you might like it."
"I'm sure I will," said Reese sincerely and seeing the child's expectant face, she decided to forego the use of a fork which was missing from the small plate. Tearing off a piece of the chocolate batter, dipping it in the whipped cream, and gathering up a slice of banana, she popped it into her mouth, gratified by the sweet taste of the treat but exaggerating her enjoyment for Miranda's sake. Smiling widely and making a great show of licking her fingers, she leaned closer to the little girl, acting as if she was sharing a great secret. "Delicious," she pronounced.
Miranda giggled in response and Reese smiled, touching her cheek briefly before peering up at Bianca who returned her smile. "Miranda has decided we should have a buffet of crepes for dinner," said Bianca. "We were picking what kinds to make. Would you like to help choose?"
"I'd love to," said Reese, still smiling as she stood up and walked over to the kitchen table, placing her satchel in a chair and putting the plate down on the table. Turning to Bianca and Miranda, she asked, "What have we decided so far?"
"Chocolate, of course," said Bianca with good humor, laughing when Miranda gave yet another enthusiastic nod. "Strawberry, peach and almonds. I've told Miranda that's all we can have for the dessert variety and we were just about to start picking out vegetables."
"Spinach!" Miranda shouted, rocking back on her heels and folding her arms over her chest. "Like Popeye."
Bianca looked to Reese, raising an eyebrow in a clear sign it was her turn to choose. A sheepish expression forming, Reese said, "Sofie has given me cheese cravings ever since we went out together. Could we have one made with cheese?"
"Yes, we can have one made with cheese," Bianca laughed and Reese felt her cheeks heat with slight embarrassment. That was when Bianca drifted over to her, her hands ghosting across her face in a tender caress before depositing a light kiss on her lips. When she pulled back, the brunette wore a fond expression on her features as she in teasing observation, "You're cute."
"Adorable," Reese corrected, trying her best to fight the embarrassment that still clung to her along with this ridiculous feeling of flattery on hearing Bianca's words. Normally she would protest that kind of statement, cute simply wasn't who Reese was. She had been called many things by the people she was involved with. Cool, confident, and composed… but cute? That had never come up before. Reese considered if it was yet another sign of how things were different with Bianca compared to everyone else in her life. How she felt things with Bianca and now became things with her that just didn't happen with other people. It was disconcerting but exciting at the same time. "It sounds better." Looking to Miranda who was observing them with a rather bored expression, she lifted an eyebrow and asked, "Right, Miranda?"
"Aunt Greens says I'm cute," said Miranda plainly, not really answering the question. "Disgusting evil cute."
"Miranda," said Bianca in a faintly scolding tone, though there was a certain humorous tinge to the way she said this. "Remember how we agreed not to repeat the things that Aunt Greenlee says? Just like we do with Grandma and the messages she leaves for Mommy."
"Okay," said Miranda agreeably. She squinted at the two women, Bianca with her arm around Reese's waist, considering them for a moment before tilting her head to one side. "I want ham and eggs."
When Bianca looked to Reese for silent approval, the blonde grinned and said, "Will they be green eggs and ham?"
"Those aren't real," Miranda said seriously. Focusing on her mother, she wore what was perhaps the most piteous expression Reese had ever seen, her brown eyes wide and pleading, as she said, "Park picnic?"
"We'll see," said Bianca gently and she moved away from Reese to approach her daughter, tenderly pressing a kiss onto the top of her head and looking into her eyes. "Why don't you get the wooden stool so you can help Mommy make the rest of the crepes?"
"'Kay!" Miranda exclaimed, running off in the direction of the kitchen, a skip in her step.
"Park picnic?" echoed Reese curiously, standing behind Bianca and smiling at the rueful expression she wore. It was fairly easy to come the conclusion what that meant, especially since the house was a few feet from Parc des Buttes Chaumont where they first met. Automatically, her right eye twitched and she felt a vague twinge of pain though the bruise had almost disappeared with the help of the ointment that Bianca had given her. Before Bianca could respond, she said mischievously, "I'm all for it as long as you don't bring any soccer balls."
"It was an accident!" Bianca exclaimed, looking peevish, and reminding Reese entirely of Miranda. Particularly when Bianca folded her arms across her chest and wore something of a pout as she said, "You ought to consider that me kicking a ball at you was fate. If I hadn't then we would've never met and you wouldn't be eating a crepes dinner with us as a celebration."
"That would have been a tragedy," replied Reese and though she said this humorously, with a twinkle in her eyes, deep down she believed this to be the truth. Her life had already changed so much since meeting Bianca in that park and it was all for the better. It was the strangest thing really, to feel grateful for being injured in a public place but Reese truly was because it brought this woman into her life. Reaching out to hook her fingers in the belt loops of Bianca's blue jeans, she pulled the brunette forward until they were lightly pressed together. She spread her hands out across the small of Bianca's back, moving in a circular caress, Reese tilted her head to one side and affectionately took in the pout that still dominated the other woman's features. "Now you're being the cute one," Reese murmured.
"Adorable," Bianca corrected in a perfect mimic of Reese earlier and the blonde laughed at this, giving an exaggerated growl and gesturing with her hands before cupping the other woman's face and kissing her softly.
They continued to kiss, each kiss becoming deeper and increasingly passionate, when there was a tug at both their shirts and they separated to look down at Miranda. Once again, she wore a bored look on her features that led Reese to believe the child was used to seeing her mother kissing other women. This thought immediately spurred a jealous envy at these faceless women who were once in the place she currently occupied. Doing her best to ignore this, Reese focused on Miranda, who peered up at them and said, "I got the stool."
"Well then, lets get cooking," said Bianca carefree and happy, moving away from Reese slightly, reaching for both Miranda and Reese's hands, leading them into the kitchen. "Do you remember what we used to make the batter for your chocolate banana crepes, Miranda?"
"Sugar!" said Miranda enthusiastically and Reese released a snort of laughter at this.
"That's right," said Bianca encouragingly, giving Reese a somewhat stern look, making the blonde form an apologetic one in return as they walked into the kitchen. Bianca released Reese's hand and helped her daughter walk up on the stool that was pushed up against the counter as she continued, "We just use that for the dessert crepes though. What do we use for the regular ones?"
A moment of pause and Miranda wore a look of great concentration before she said, "Eggs! From a chicken."
"Exactly right, eggs from a chicken," said Bianca with a warm laugh, pressing a kiss onto the child's head and looking back at Reese who was watching their interaction with a fond gaze. "Would you mind getting the eggs out of the fridge?"
"I'm at your service," said Reese, giving a little bow and grinning when Miranda giggled at this. She pulled open the refrigerator and removed the carton of eggs, carefully placing them on the counter by the two brunettes. Meeting their gaze and smiling wide, she said, "What next?"
One by one, they gathered the ingredients as Miranda listed them, until Reese was helping Miranda stir the batter for the two varieties of crepes, while Bianca adjusted the burners to the perfect temperature and prepared the rest of the food. Around forty five minutes later, Bianca was wrapping up the last of the crepes and putting them away in tupperware containers as she instructed Miranda to go on a search for their picnic basket which had last been seen in the little girl's room during playtime with her dolls. When Miranda returned, dragging a large wicker picnic basket along the floor, they placed the containers inside it along with three bottles of water and headed to park, holding hands.
As they entered the Avenue Mathurin Moreau entrance, Bianca eyed the leather satchel over Reese's shoulder and remarked with sardonic humor, "You could have left that in the house. It does have a freakishly expensive security system protecting it."
"Taking it with me is a habit," admitted Reese wryly, although Bianca saying this made Reese instinctively look for the ominous figure of Nathan whom she immediately spotted, lurking a few feet away, his sharp gaze narrowed and he gave a small nod at her attention. Looking over Miranda's head at Bianca who had noticed her focus on the bodyguard, she asked quietly, "How do you get used to him?"
"After awhile you don't notice he's there," Bianca revealed with a soft laugh though her dark eyes held a definite understanding. "I like to call him Batman because he's always hiding in the shadows, trying to make himself as inconspicuous as possible. When he's like that it's easy to forget he's around. That's what apparently makes Nathan so good at his job. At least, according to Zach." A look of concern formed on her delicate features and Bianca questioned even more quietly, trying to keep it from Miranda's ears, "Does it bother you? Because we can--"
"It doesn't bother me," Reese stopped Bianca before she could say anything more. No matter what kind sentiment the brunette would have spoken Reese knew that ultimately Nathan wasn't something she could afford to remain uncomfortable with. No matter how foreboding she did find him the fact that he was there to protect Miranda made him an irreplaceable part of Bianca's life and she wasn't going to argue with his presence nor was she going to allow the brunette to think that she didn't want him around. Fearing that if she let Bianca think such a thing it would lead the other woman to question whether or not she really wanted Reese to be a part of her and Miranda's life. "I promise."
The concern still on her face along such a genuine caring that Reese felt her throat tighten at it, Bianca looked at Reese with a dark and searching gaze as she questioned, "Are you sure?"
"Positive," said Reese in reassuring tones, forming her best and brightest smile. Looking down at Miranda who had ignored their conversation, instead placing her focus on the people in the park, her gaze fixed far in the distance. "Miranda," she said her name cheerfully, beaming when the child looked up at her. "Where should we eat? Do you have a favorite place in the park?"
"The grotto," Miranda said instantly, her brown eyes lighting up as she said this.
"The grotto," Reese repeated in awed tones, she swung their hands slightly, smiling when the little girl giggled at this. "I like the waterfall they have there," she confessed, leaning down to put their faces closer together. "Even though it's not the biggest in the world. Did you know that the biggest waterfall was named after the Queen of England? I don't think she ever saw it for herself though."
"How big?" asked Miranda, her gaze becoming large.
"Three hundred and sixty feet tall," said Reese with a smile. "Which probably means that it would take a few hundred of the waterfall in the grotto to just make one Victoria Falls." Pausing their swinging hands to point a finger at Miranda she said, "You know that the rivers can be dangerous, right? You shouldn't go in them, especially when there are falls like the one in the grotto, it makes the current too strong."
"Mommy and I took swimming lessons," said Miranda proudly, looking pleased with this accomplishment. Reese was about to respond, perhaps to compliment the child on this when Miranda released a happy squeal, tugging on their hands and announcing they had made it to the grotto. Exchanging a bemused but affectionate look with Bianca, she increased her pace to jog along with Miranda who continued to hold their hands as they entered the grotto area of the park. Once they reached a flat patch of grass next to the rocky cliff where the waterfall descended into the lake, Miranda beamed up at them as she declared, "This is the best spot."
Agreeing on this location for the picnic, the adults went about spreading the large red blanket Bianca had packed in the basket, lying it on the grass while Miranda searched through the basket for her container of crepes that Bianca had purposefully made into small portions so the child could have a bit of everything without getting sick. They settled down for dinner, eating the crepes with their hands, content in their time together, enjoying a steady conversation as they ate, including Miranda getting Reese to promise to read another story using funny voices.
When they finished the last of the crepes, Reese's gaze drifted from the lake to Miranda and then her leather satchel. Pulling it closer, she opened it and removed a large and thick piece of paper from her sketch pad. Looking to the little girl, Reese asked, "Has your Mommy ever taught you how to make a paper boat, Miranda? If you like, we can make one to float on the lake."
"Can we?" Miranda asked her mother eagerly.
"Since you asked so nicely," said Bianca warmly, ruffling the child's hair and smiling as she released a happy sound then scooted close to Reese who began to instruct her on the proper way to fold the paper to make a boat.
They worked on their project for a few minutes before Reese declared it to be the most perfect paper boat she had ever seen and they headed over to the edge of the lake with Bianca who kept a light grip on Miranda's waist as she leaned over to place it in the water. With an elaborate puff of air, Reese blew at the boat, soon joined by mother and daughter, all three laughing as the paper vessel finally floated further out into the lake while Miranda clapped her hands, shouting good luck to the boat as it drifted away.
Hand in hand, they returned to the house where the rest of the night was filled with a viewing of Muppets Take Manhattan and Miranda choosing The Last Basselope for Reese to read to her with the funny voices. When Reese finished the tale in an overly serious voice that had a touch of a fake British accent, the child was a sound asleep and once again the blonde found herself being taken by the hand, allowing Bianca to lead her into the living room where their easy conversation flowed effortlessly into soft kisses filled with emotion.
Perhaps the most troublesome part of her personality was the portion that didn't allow Reese to simply act without thinking. Everything had to be picked over and analyzed, even when she didn't feel like it. She thought it was some sort of frustrating inborn tendency because while her time with Bianca was so effortless and freeing, Reese always poured over it when she was alone, reliving the moments and trying to find the explanations and reasons behind this and that until she ended up with only a few hours sleep before going to work in the morning.
Twisted as it was to realize it, Reese knew the reason for this obsession came from the fact that it was so easy to be with Bianca and this was such a foreign concept that she couldn't quite wrap her head around it. So her time away from the other woman was spent futilely trying to understand how she could be missing something this essential all her life, something that made her feel content and at peace with the world for the first time, and suddenly happen upon it by accident one day. It didn't make sense and Reese needed things to make sense.
Reason and logic were her religion, enough that she could acknowledge a secret intellectual crush on Spock from Star Trek. Though her upbringing in staid society would never allow her to reveal having watched any episode of the series. Even if her father had watched it with her and divulged wanting to be like Captain Kirk. Letting go of that reason and logic was a difficult task but slowly she felt it happening the more she spent time with Bianca. Just because these feelings the brunette caused, they couldn't be explained, and Reese was starting to become irritated with herself for trying, for squandering her precious moments with the other woman by trying to figure out why she felt the way she did about Bianca instead of simply enjoying the time she had with her. It seemed like a terrible waste.
During the drive back to her house, Reese reflected on the day she spent with Bianca and Miranda. They were both so very warm and welcoming. Making crepes with them, building the paper boat with Miranda, watching the movie, and being a part of the little girl's story time made her feel included in their family and Reese was shocked to find she wanted that desperately. Almost as much as she wanted Bianca herself.
She wanted to be a part of their family that was kind and caring and somehow seemed to accept her totally, despite all the strange new pieces of her that she was exposing around them because she finally felt safe to do so. Reese knew she was becoming attached too quickly and perhaps it wasn't healthy but she couldn't stop it, these feelings for Bianca, they were like a force of nature and the more she was with her and Miranda the more that Reese found they represented everything she had ever wanted but never thought she could have.
A real family, genuine in their love, unwavering in their support.
Engrossed in these thoughts as she parked her car in front of her house, Reese almost didn't notice the door was unlocked and the lights were on as she stepped inside. As she shut the front door, there was the loud thumping sound of footsteps descending down her winding staircase then Simon was in front of her, sweeping her up in a hug and telling her that he decided to take an early flight. Then he pulled away with an eager look on his features and she watched as he produced her engagement ring that he had taken to get resized before his trip.
"I've added another diamond or two," Simon said and he started to slip the ring back onto Reese's finger but she jerked out of his hold, stepping backwards and he looked at her, a hurt and questioning expression on his features. "Reese? What is it?"
Staring at the ring still in his hold, glittering in the light, the diamonds sparkling and bright, Reese slowly lifted her head and took him in. She didn't want to do this, she honestly didn't, and she shouldn't have to. It was her own fault for saying yes when she knew deep down that she never was in love with him and never would be, when she knew that sex with him and any other man would never feel right, when she knew that a necessary connection was missing to their relationship that would never develop, no matter how hard she worked at it. He cared for her, he was in love with her, Reese knew that from how hard he tried to make her happy and it tortured her, the thought of causing a man like him any measure of pain but she couldn't let this go on anymore. Not when she finally found what she thought could make her feel appreciated as a person and truly loved as a woman.
"Simon," Reese's voice cracked and wavered as she said his name. "I can't marry you."
To be continued...
SERIES: All My Children
AUTHOR:
dreiserEMAIL: dreiser7@yahoo.com
YAHOO ID: dreiser7
MY WEBSITE: http://www.dreiser.org/
CONTENT: F/F romance. Bianca/Reese. Breeze.
SUMMARY: Reese Williams had experienced a thousand glimpses of the life she always wanted but until she met Bianca Montgomery she never thought she could have it for herself.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but my disbelief at how OOC some crazy Bammers write Reese in fanfic.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm serious about the OOC people. It's nuts what some people have written about Reese. She's physically and verbally abusive which is just wrong to associate with her. Yeesh.
This chapter ends on a cliffhanger because, you know, it's a soap opera fanfic and shit happens. It's also filled almost entirely with Bianca, Reese, and Miranda family time which is something I'm going to put into a lot of the chapters just because it sort of bothers me that some fics don't really have Miranda show up at all. Which bugs me since I really do think that Bianca would be a super involved mother, even if they unfortunately don't always present it that way on the show.
Paper boats are nifty. Especially life sized ones. I'm shocked this dude didn't sink but it's still really cool.
More music because I remain lame that way. Rachael Yamagata's new album is made of awesome. Here are songs from it: Accident by Rachael Yamagata : Sidedish Friend by Rachael Yamagata
A Thousand Glimpses
By: Dreiser
Nine
Manners had been hammered into Reese from a very early age. Her mother came from old money, practically prehistoric her father would joke, and since the time she could speak Reese was attending endless society functions. Usually bored out of her mind and relying upon her father and his new money sense of humor to keep her from dying from said boredom.
Talking to people was a skill that could be learned and must be learned well according to her mother. Ridiculous as it was, she often quizzed Reese on the fine points of having a conversation. The great art of making small talk and being able to charm people into falling all over your feet so they would donate to this popular charity and support that trendy cause and in the end make you look that much more important in the society pages. There was little her mother loved more than seeing herself being praised in the printed word. Part of Reese thought perhaps that's why she ended up as a world renowned musician, merely for the accolades she attained. That was petty of her though. When it came down to it Reese had to admit, whatever her problems with her mother, that music was her great love.
Perhaps more than her father and certainly more than Reese herself.
While she hated those lessons her mother had given, how specific mannerisms had been drilled into her enough that now they were second nature, Reese did find them perversely useful as an adult. Especially when it came to impressing potential clients. She hated it at times, how it came almost instinctively, this need to admire and praise, a cajoling sort of flirtation in how she dealt with those who might hire her firm but it wasn't something she could quite control, it came to her as if inherent and Audrey insisted it was good for business. So much that she often wanted Reese be the one to meet with clients just so she might charm them into accepting their services.
This feeling put Reese in charge of their meeting with Sig. Guy Passeri, an Italian media mogul who wanted to relocate and expand his corporate office from Naples to Milan. He was searching for a building design that would be both innovative but eye catching and Sig. Passeri didn't do anything by small measures, requiring that whatever was constructed should swiftly turn into a tourist attraction for its design alone.
Art and imagination must pour from every inch of the structure, he declared on their initial meeting, and the way he said this, the enthusiasm behind it left Reese with a vivid impression of what had to be done for this project. Something unusual, something unique, something that just couldn't be seen anywhere else in the world and left people in awe that such a building existed and the artist in her was exhilarated at the idea of having this kind of opportunity. It was the chance to create a piece of history almost and Reese badly wanted to be a part of that.
The manners came out in full force along with the charm and by the end of their two hour meeting, her entire staff suitably spying as they exited the conference room with Audrey, Maurice, and Claude, they were nothing but smiles and they knew Reese had done it again. Once Sig. Passeri left the building and the staff knew it was safe a series of impromptu celebrations spread across the building and Reese, giddy from her success, found herself automatically dialing the person she wanted to share her happiness with the most.
"Hello?" Bianca's voice, light and sweet, echoed in her ear.
"Just hello? No, I missed you so much, thank god you're calling?" replied Reese, automatically slipping into the playful banter that seemed to come effortlessly in all her conversations with the other woman. She wasn't sure exactly why that was because it wasn't the norm for Reese. In fact, it was anything but usual for her to feel comfortable teasing and joking with another person as much as she did with Bianca. She could be that way with her father, Audrey, and Maurice at times but she had known them for years. But just in a matter of days Reese easily fell into a trend of having kidding conversations with Bianca and even more surprising was how much she enjoyed them. Making jokes and giving slight verbal pokes to the brunette made her smile if only for the droll or exaggerated outrage she would receive in response. If she didn't truly sense that Bianca enjoyed the interaction as much as she did Reese would almost feel like the boy in grade school who picks on the girl he's infatuated with simply to gain her attention and garner a reaction. "I'm crushed under the high heel of your indifference."
"I'm wearing flats," said Bianca, her voice dry as the desert, making Reese grin, pleased their tradition for banter lived on.
"That disappoints me for some reason," admitted Reese, nodding at some of her architecture staff and smiling in response to their congratulations. Walking into her office, she quietly shut the door and remarked, "I pictured you looking marvelously tall."
"Sorry, for now I'm at a normal height," Bianca laughed. There was a pause then she said, "You seem to be in an especially good mood. What's up?"
"I just helped land a large contract for our firm," said Reese, walking over to her window. She resumed what had become a habitual stance since meeting Bianca, standing in front of the long windows and gazing down the street where the brunette lived, looking out as if she could somehow see the other woman by doing this. "It's the kind of project most architects have wet dreams about."
"Congratulations," said Bianca warmly. "Why do I think your nosy coworkers are throwing parties as we speak?"
"Several have sprung up around the office," revealed Reese with a laugh. "Sad to say but we give into almost any chance to party around here and this might be one of the rare occasions where the situation actually warrants it."
"You should join them," encouraged Bianca and the way she said this made Reese think the brunette was a bit dismayed at Reese missing out on the parties when she was part of the reason for them. "I'm betting you deserve to celebrate more than anyone."
"Why do you think I called you?" questioned Reese and though her tone was teasing there was a definite truth to her words. One that she was sure Bianca recognized from the soft sound of pleasure the other woman released on hearing this. Though she was a little embarrassed to say these words, to give so much away, getting this response from Bianca made it all worth it for Reese because it meant perhaps the brunette shared some measure of the feelings that Reese was developing for her. "Would you go out with me tonight?" Reese went on, her voice gentle and candid in its affectionate intent. "To celebrate as ordered?"
A pause and Reese wondered if she had finally asked too much, displayed more interest then Bianca was ready for. Then came the other woman's voice, clear with its regret as she murmured, "Today is Adele's birthday. I gave her the weekend off as part of my gift to her."
For a few moments Reese was confused why this meant Bianca couldn't help celebrate her occupational victory but then she realized that the other woman thought any plans she was making excluded Miranda. While she would admit to being selfish enough to want some time alone with Bianca she hadn't intended to imply that she didn't want the child to be a part of their celebration. It was only recently, in the past two years, that Reese began to seriously consider motherhood but she honestly enjoyed being with the little girl and it almost hurt that Bianca somehow thought this wasn't the case. Pushing these feelings aside, Reese cleared her throat and said with the same good natured offense she used when accusing Bianca of doubting her story telling skills, "Why can't I celebrate with Miranda? Were my voices that bad?"
Silence and Reese knew with it that she had surmised correctly. Then Bianca laughed, joyful and relieved, and with it Reese found what little hurt feelings she had disappearing in the wake of the other woman's happiness. "Don't you dare bring up your voices," said Bianca in a touch of embellished irritation. "I've had to listen to you don't read it funny like Reese nonstop all this week. You've ruined story time for me, lady."
"Aw," said Reese with overdone sympathy. "Don't be jealous of my superior story telling skills. Like I told you before, it's an innate talent."
"I'll be sure to let Miranda know," said Bianca in droll tones. She was quiet for a moment, then she said, "I was thinking of taking her to L'Ecurie du Bois Rond tomorrow for some horseback riding. Would you like to go with us? I'm not sure if that's a good celebration but--"
"It sounds great to me," interrupted Reese, trying her best to keep the eagerness from her voice and positive she was failing. "But I have to warn you, I've never seen a horse in person much less ever ridden on one. I don't know how much help I'll be."
"I guess that means you'll have the chance to be jealous of my equestrian skills," Bianca teased.
"I'd say so," replied Reese with a chuckle. The door to her office swung open and she was greeted with the sight of Audrey wearing one of the tacky birthday hats they purchased for Maurice's birthday party and holding two flutes filled what she assumed was champagne. Reese's eyes widened at the sight of her business partner and not wanting to stop her conversation with the brunette, she pointed at her cell phone and mouthed Bianca's name, grinning when Audrey lifted her flute in a toast before offering Reese the other flute, blowing a kiss when the blonde accepted it and exiting her office in a jaunty strut. Taking a sip, smiling at the bubbles tickling her nose, Reese drawled, "I just got a personalized champagne delivery. You see why I like my coworkers, despite the nosiness?"
"Very nice," Bianca praised and Reese felt an absurd temptation to preen at the way the other woman said this. There was the muted sound of shuffling then she heard Bianca murmur Miranda's name, telling her she could pick whatever they liked for dinner as long as it wasn't just a selection of candies. "Sorry," said Bianca wryly. "It's getting close to dinner and Miranda gets restless when she's hungry."
Not wanting to wait until tomorrow to see the brunette, Reese said, "What if we go out for dinner together? Miranda's choice."
"Are you sure?" asked Bianca hesitantly. "I imagine you're the guest of honor at all those parties around your office."
"I rather celebrate with the both of you," said Reese quiet but strong in her emphasis, leaving no doubts in Bianca's mind about her wishes. A sudden bout of insecurity seizing her, hating herself for giving too much away, Reese added quickly, "If that's what you want."
"I can't think of anything I'd want more," Bianca replied and her voice was so heartfelt that it made Reese blush. There was a slight pause then she said in teasing tones, "Are you sure you're all right to walk over here or are you tipsy on champagne?"
"I've had one drink!" exclaimed Reese, doing a fair job of sounding disgruntled. "I'm starting to become insulted by the way you assume I can't hold my liquor. I'll have you know that my people come from a robust English stock and we can drink with the best of them."
"I'll keep that in mind for New Years," remarked Bianca wryly.
Privately pleased that the other woman was thinking that far ahead, Reese finished off her flute of champagne, giving a slight sneeze at the bubbles and placing it on her desk as she headed out the door to her office. "Just so you know, I'm not tipsy while walking and I'm heading over to your house as we speak. What has Miranda decided for dinner? A smorgasbord of the unhealthy? Because I'm down with that."
"Oh, you are, are you?" said Bianca playfully. "I think you're plotting to be a bad food influence on my daughter. As if it isn't bad enough that you've made a mockery of my story telling skills by cornering the market on funny voices."
"Is it my fault that Miranda didn't know what she was missing?" asked Reese in overly innocent tones, jogging across Avenue Secretan and making a right turn down Avenue Mathurin Moreau. "I thought parents wanted to expose their kids to the best things in life."
"Until they're no longer included among them," said Bianca absently and Reese heard her respond to a question Miranda posed. She returned a few moments later and asked in a kind inquiry, "I'll see you soon?"
"I'm almost there," said Reese, a smile in her voice and on her features.
"We'll have a surprise for you," Bianca promised and before Reese could question further the brunette ended the phone call.
Curiosity seizing her and having dressed for the meeting in her most comfortable pair of black pants and matching leather shoes, Reese felt it safe to break out into a mild run and she soon came to a stop in front of Bianca's door, knocking on it. Hands on her hips, she tilted her head back, looking up at the ugly pepto bismol pink arches and noting with a bit of consternation that she was breathing harder. Maybe some additional trips to the gym were in order. Especially if she was going to be spending more time with Bianca and Miranda as she hoped. Reese had the feeling that even with Miranda being as well behaved as she was keeping up with a small child could be physically taxing. Distantly she wondered if maybe that was how Bianca maintained her own figure, by simply running after her daughter.
She couldn't pursue this line of thought because the front door opened and Miranda was standing in front of her, a proud look on her features along with a bright and beaming smile that caused Reese's heart to ache, it was so like her mother's. The little girl was holding a small plate in her hands and she thrust it out towards Reese as she proclaimed, "This is for you!"
"Well, thank you," said Reese, laughing happily and accepting the plate as she walked inside the house. Adjusting her leather satchel briefcase over her shoulder, she closed the front door, and turned her attention to what Miranda handed her. On the plate was a crepe made with a dark brown batter, filled with slices of banana, and topped with whipped cream that was arranged to make a smiley face. A wafting scent of chocolate came from the treat and crouching down so she was eye level with Miranda, she asked, "Did you make this?"
Nodding enthusiastically, Miranda said, "With Mommy."
"It's a chocolate, banana, and whipped cream crepe," said Bianca, smiling as she moved to stand behind Miranda. Her left hand lightly combed through her daughter's hair as the child looked up at her. "They're Miranda's favorite. She thought you might like it."
"I'm sure I will," said Reese sincerely and seeing the child's expectant face, she decided to forego the use of a fork which was missing from the small plate. Tearing off a piece of the chocolate batter, dipping it in the whipped cream, and gathering up a slice of banana, she popped it into her mouth, gratified by the sweet taste of the treat but exaggerating her enjoyment for Miranda's sake. Smiling widely and making a great show of licking her fingers, she leaned closer to the little girl, acting as if she was sharing a great secret. "Delicious," she pronounced.
Miranda giggled in response and Reese smiled, touching her cheek briefly before peering up at Bianca who returned her smile. "Miranda has decided we should have a buffet of crepes for dinner," said Bianca. "We were picking what kinds to make. Would you like to help choose?"
"I'd love to," said Reese, still smiling as she stood up and walked over to the kitchen table, placing her satchel in a chair and putting the plate down on the table. Turning to Bianca and Miranda, she asked, "What have we decided so far?"
"Chocolate, of course," said Bianca with good humor, laughing when Miranda gave yet another enthusiastic nod. "Strawberry, peach and almonds. I've told Miranda that's all we can have for the dessert variety and we were just about to start picking out vegetables."
"Spinach!" Miranda shouted, rocking back on her heels and folding her arms over her chest. "Like Popeye."
Bianca looked to Reese, raising an eyebrow in a clear sign it was her turn to choose. A sheepish expression forming, Reese said, "Sofie has given me cheese cravings ever since we went out together. Could we have one made with cheese?"
"Yes, we can have one made with cheese," Bianca laughed and Reese felt her cheeks heat with slight embarrassment. That was when Bianca drifted over to her, her hands ghosting across her face in a tender caress before depositing a light kiss on her lips. When she pulled back, the brunette wore a fond expression on her features as she in teasing observation, "You're cute."
"Adorable," Reese corrected, trying her best to fight the embarrassment that still clung to her along with this ridiculous feeling of flattery on hearing Bianca's words. Normally she would protest that kind of statement, cute simply wasn't who Reese was. She had been called many things by the people she was involved with. Cool, confident, and composed… but cute? That had never come up before. Reese considered if it was yet another sign of how things were different with Bianca compared to everyone else in her life. How she felt things with Bianca and now became things with her that just didn't happen with other people. It was disconcerting but exciting at the same time. "It sounds better." Looking to Miranda who was observing them with a rather bored expression, she lifted an eyebrow and asked, "Right, Miranda?"
"Aunt Greens says I'm cute," said Miranda plainly, not really answering the question. "Disgusting evil cute."
"Miranda," said Bianca in a faintly scolding tone, though there was a certain humorous tinge to the way she said this. "Remember how we agreed not to repeat the things that Aunt Greenlee says? Just like we do with Grandma and the messages she leaves for Mommy."
"Okay," said Miranda agreeably. She squinted at the two women, Bianca with her arm around Reese's waist, considering them for a moment before tilting her head to one side. "I want ham and eggs."
When Bianca looked to Reese for silent approval, the blonde grinned and said, "Will they be green eggs and ham?"
"Those aren't real," Miranda said seriously. Focusing on her mother, she wore what was perhaps the most piteous expression Reese had ever seen, her brown eyes wide and pleading, as she said, "Park picnic?"
"We'll see," said Bianca gently and she moved away from Reese to approach her daughter, tenderly pressing a kiss onto the top of her head and looking into her eyes. "Why don't you get the wooden stool so you can help Mommy make the rest of the crepes?"
"'Kay!" Miranda exclaimed, running off in the direction of the kitchen, a skip in her step.
"Park picnic?" echoed Reese curiously, standing behind Bianca and smiling at the rueful expression she wore. It was fairly easy to come the conclusion what that meant, especially since the house was a few feet from Parc des Buttes Chaumont where they first met. Automatically, her right eye twitched and she felt a vague twinge of pain though the bruise had almost disappeared with the help of the ointment that Bianca had given her. Before Bianca could respond, she said mischievously, "I'm all for it as long as you don't bring any soccer balls."
"It was an accident!" Bianca exclaimed, looking peevish, and reminding Reese entirely of Miranda. Particularly when Bianca folded her arms across her chest and wore something of a pout as she said, "You ought to consider that me kicking a ball at you was fate. If I hadn't then we would've never met and you wouldn't be eating a crepes dinner with us as a celebration."
"That would have been a tragedy," replied Reese and though she said this humorously, with a twinkle in her eyes, deep down she believed this to be the truth. Her life had already changed so much since meeting Bianca in that park and it was all for the better. It was the strangest thing really, to feel grateful for being injured in a public place but Reese truly was because it brought this woman into her life. Reaching out to hook her fingers in the belt loops of Bianca's blue jeans, she pulled the brunette forward until they were lightly pressed together. She spread her hands out across the small of Bianca's back, moving in a circular caress, Reese tilted her head to one side and affectionately took in the pout that still dominated the other woman's features. "Now you're being the cute one," Reese murmured.
"Adorable," Bianca corrected in a perfect mimic of Reese earlier and the blonde laughed at this, giving an exaggerated growl and gesturing with her hands before cupping the other woman's face and kissing her softly.
They continued to kiss, each kiss becoming deeper and increasingly passionate, when there was a tug at both their shirts and they separated to look down at Miranda. Once again, she wore a bored look on her features that led Reese to believe the child was used to seeing her mother kissing other women. This thought immediately spurred a jealous envy at these faceless women who were once in the place she currently occupied. Doing her best to ignore this, Reese focused on Miranda, who peered up at them and said, "I got the stool."
"Well then, lets get cooking," said Bianca carefree and happy, moving away from Reese slightly, reaching for both Miranda and Reese's hands, leading them into the kitchen. "Do you remember what we used to make the batter for your chocolate banana crepes, Miranda?"
"Sugar!" said Miranda enthusiastically and Reese released a snort of laughter at this.
"That's right," said Bianca encouragingly, giving Reese a somewhat stern look, making the blonde form an apologetic one in return as they walked into the kitchen. Bianca released Reese's hand and helped her daughter walk up on the stool that was pushed up against the counter as she continued, "We just use that for the dessert crepes though. What do we use for the regular ones?"
A moment of pause and Miranda wore a look of great concentration before she said, "Eggs! From a chicken."
"Exactly right, eggs from a chicken," said Bianca with a warm laugh, pressing a kiss onto the child's head and looking back at Reese who was watching their interaction with a fond gaze. "Would you mind getting the eggs out of the fridge?"
"I'm at your service," said Reese, giving a little bow and grinning when Miranda giggled at this. She pulled open the refrigerator and removed the carton of eggs, carefully placing them on the counter by the two brunettes. Meeting their gaze and smiling wide, she said, "What next?"
One by one, they gathered the ingredients as Miranda listed them, until Reese was helping Miranda stir the batter for the two varieties of crepes, while Bianca adjusted the burners to the perfect temperature and prepared the rest of the food. Around forty five minutes later, Bianca was wrapping up the last of the crepes and putting them away in tupperware containers as she instructed Miranda to go on a search for their picnic basket which had last been seen in the little girl's room during playtime with her dolls. When Miranda returned, dragging a large wicker picnic basket along the floor, they placed the containers inside it along with three bottles of water and headed to park, holding hands.
As they entered the Avenue Mathurin Moreau entrance, Bianca eyed the leather satchel over Reese's shoulder and remarked with sardonic humor, "You could have left that in the house. It does have a freakishly expensive security system protecting it."
"Taking it with me is a habit," admitted Reese wryly, although Bianca saying this made Reese instinctively look for the ominous figure of Nathan whom she immediately spotted, lurking a few feet away, his sharp gaze narrowed and he gave a small nod at her attention. Looking over Miranda's head at Bianca who had noticed her focus on the bodyguard, she asked quietly, "How do you get used to him?"
"After awhile you don't notice he's there," Bianca revealed with a soft laugh though her dark eyes held a definite understanding. "I like to call him Batman because he's always hiding in the shadows, trying to make himself as inconspicuous as possible. When he's like that it's easy to forget he's around. That's what apparently makes Nathan so good at his job. At least, according to Zach." A look of concern formed on her delicate features and Bianca questioned even more quietly, trying to keep it from Miranda's ears, "Does it bother you? Because we can--"
"It doesn't bother me," Reese stopped Bianca before she could say anything more. No matter what kind sentiment the brunette would have spoken Reese knew that ultimately Nathan wasn't something she could afford to remain uncomfortable with. No matter how foreboding she did find him the fact that he was there to protect Miranda made him an irreplaceable part of Bianca's life and she wasn't going to argue with his presence nor was she going to allow the brunette to think that she didn't want him around. Fearing that if she let Bianca think such a thing it would lead the other woman to question whether or not she really wanted Reese to be a part of her and Miranda's life. "I promise."
The concern still on her face along such a genuine caring that Reese felt her throat tighten at it, Bianca looked at Reese with a dark and searching gaze as she questioned, "Are you sure?"
"Positive," said Reese in reassuring tones, forming her best and brightest smile. Looking down at Miranda who had ignored their conversation, instead placing her focus on the people in the park, her gaze fixed far in the distance. "Miranda," she said her name cheerfully, beaming when the child looked up at her. "Where should we eat? Do you have a favorite place in the park?"
"The grotto," Miranda said instantly, her brown eyes lighting up as she said this.
"The grotto," Reese repeated in awed tones, she swung their hands slightly, smiling when the little girl giggled at this. "I like the waterfall they have there," she confessed, leaning down to put their faces closer together. "Even though it's not the biggest in the world. Did you know that the biggest waterfall was named after the Queen of England? I don't think she ever saw it for herself though."
"How big?" asked Miranda, her gaze becoming large.
"Three hundred and sixty feet tall," said Reese with a smile. "Which probably means that it would take a few hundred of the waterfall in the grotto to just make one Victoria Falls." Pausing their swinging hands to point a finger at Miranda she said, "You know that the rivers can be dangerous, right? You shouldn't go in them, especially when there are falls like the one in the grotto, it makes the current too strong."
"Mommy and I took swimming lessons," said Miranda proudly, looking pleased with this accomplishment. Reese was about to respond, perhaps to compliment the child on this when Miranda released a happy squeal, tugging on their hands and announcing they had made it to the grotto. Exchanging a bemused but affectionate look with Bianca, she increased her pace to jog along with Miranda who continued to hold their hands as they entered the grotto area of the park. Once they reached a flat patch of grass next to the rocky cliff where the waterfall descended into the lake, Miranda beamed up at them as she declared, "This is the best spot."
Agreeing on this location for the picnic, the adults went about spreading the large red blanket Bianca had packed in the basket, lying it on the grass while Miranda searched through the basket for her container of crepes that Bianca had purposefully made into small portions so the child could have a bit of everything without getting sick. They settled down for dinner, eating the crepes with their hands, content in their time together, enjoying a steady conversation as they ate, including Miranda getting Reese to promise to read another story using funny voices.
When they finished the last of the crepes, Reese's gaze drifted from the lake to Miranda and then her leather satchel. Pulling it closer, she opened it and removed a large and thick piece of paper from her sketch pad. Looking to the little girl, Reese asked, "Has your Mommy ever taught you how to make a paper boat, Miranda? If you like, we can make one to float on the lake."
"Can we?" Miranda asked her mother eagerly.
"Since you asked so nicely," said Bianca warmly, ruffling the child's hair and smiling as she released a happy sound then scooted close to Reese who began to instruct her on the proper way to fold the paper to make a boat.
They worked on their project for a few minutes before Reese declared it to be the most perfect paper boat she had ever seen and they headed over to the edge of the lake with Bianca who kept a light grip on Miranda's waist as she leaned over to place it in the water. With an elaborate puff of air, Reese blew at the boat, soon joined by mother and daughter, all three laughing as the paper vessel finally floated further out into the lake while Miranda clapped her hands, shouting good luck to the boat as it drifted away.
Hand in hand, they returned to the house where the rest of the night was filled with a viewing of Muppets Take Manhattan and Miranda choosing The Last Basselope for Reese to read to her with the funny voices. When Reese finished the tale in an overly serious voice that had a touch of a fake British accent, the child was a sound asleep and once again the blonde found herself being taken by the hand, allowing Bianca to lead her into the living room where their easy conversation flowed effortlessly into soft kisses filled with emotion.
Perhaps the most troublesome part of her personality was the portion that didn't allow Reese to simply act without thinking. Everything had to be picked over and analyzed, even when she didn't feel like it. She thought it was some sort of frustrating inborn tendency because while her time with Bianca was so effortless and freeing, Reese always poured over it when she was alone, reliving the moments and trying to find the explanations and reasons behind this and that until she ended up with only a few hours sleep before going to work in the morning.
Twisted as it was to realize it, Reese knew the reason for this obsession came from the fact that it was so easy to be with Bianca and this was such a foreign concept that she couldn't quite wrap her head around it. So her time away from the other woman was spent futilely trying to understand how she could be missing something this essential all her life, something that made her feel content and at peace with the world for the first time, and suddenly happen upon it by accident one day. It didn't make sense and Reese needed things to make sense.
Reason and logic were her religion, enough that she could acknowledge a secret intellectual crush on Spock from Star Trek. Though her upbringing in staid society would never allow her to reveal having watched any episode of the series. Even if her father had watched it with her and divulged wanting to be like Captain Kirk. Letting go of that reason and logic was a difficult task but slowly she felt it happening the more she spent time with Bianca. Just because these feelings the brunette caused, they couldn't be explained, and Reese was starting to become irritated with herself for trying, for squandering her precious moments with the other woman by trying to figure out why she felt the way she did about Bianca instead of simply enjoying the time she had with her. It seemed like a terrible waste.
During the drive back to her house, Reese reflected on the day she spent with Bianca and Miranda. They were both so very warm and welcoming. Making crepes with them, building the paper boat with Miranda, watching the movie, and being a part of the little girl's story time made her feel included in their family and Reese was shocked to find she wanted that desperately. Almost as much as she wanted Bianca herself.
She wanted to be a part of their family that was kind and caring and somehow seemed to accept her totally, despite all the strange new pieces of her that she was exposing around them because she finally felt safe to do so. Reese knew she was becoming attached too quickly and perhaps it wasn't healthy but she couldn't stop it, these feelings for Bianca, they were like a force of nature and the more she was with her and Miranda the more that Reese found they represented everything she had ever wanted but never thought she could have.
A real family, genuine in their love, unwavering in their support.
Engrossed in these thoughts as she parked her car in front of her house, Reese almost didn't notice the door was unlocked and the lights were on as she stepped inside. As she shut the front door, there was the loud thumping sound of footsteps descending down her winding staircase then Simon was in front of her, sweeping her up in a hug and telling her that he decided to take an early flight. Then he pulled away with an eager look on his features and she watched as he produced her engagement ring that he had taken to get resized before his trip.
"I've added another diamond or two," Simon said and he started to slip the ring back onto Reese's finger but she jerked out of his hold, stepping backwards and he looked at her, a hurt and questioning expression on his features. "Reese? What is it?"
Staring at the ring still in his hold, glittering in the light, the diamonds sparkling and bright, Reese slowly lifted her head and took him in. She didn't want to do this, she honestly didn't, and she shouldn't have to. It was her own fault for saying yes when she knew deep down that she never was in love with him and never would be, when she knew that sex with him and any other man would never feel right, when she knew that a necessary connection was missing to their relationship that would never develop, no matter how hard she worked at it. He cared for her, he was in love with her, Reese knew that from how hard he tried to make her happy and it tortured her, the thought of causing a man like him any measure of pain but she couldn't let this go on anymore. Not when she finally found what she thought could make her feel appreciated as a person and truly loved as a woman.
"Simon," Reese's voice cracked and wavered as she said his name. "I can't marry you."
To be continued...
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Re: OOC?