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TITLE: A Thousand Glimpses
SERIES: All My Children
AUTHOR:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dreiser
EMAIL: dreiser7@yahoo.com
YAHOO ID: dreiser7
MY WEBSITE: http://www.dreiser.org/
CONTENT: F/F romance. Bianca/Reese. Breeze.
SUMMARY: Reese Williams had experienced a thousand glimpses of the life she always wanted but until she met Bianca Montgomery she never thought she could have it for herself.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but my gratitude at having a decent beta.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The song that Bianca and Reese dance to is Decollage by Alizee whom I love if only for being discovered by Mylene Farmer who is made of pop music win. I link the song if you want to listen to it.
Decollage by Alizee
A Thousand Glimpses
By: Dreiser
Twelve
The language that Reese spoke with her father was one of euphemisms. They never tended to say what they actually meant. Instead they hinted at it, politely tip toeing around the conversation in hopes of preventing hurt feelings on either side. Reese wasn't sure of her father's own relationship with his parents but she was sure that a good deal of this habit came from the same place hers did. From dealing with their mother and learning that it was never wise to directly tell her anything unless you knew for certain the piece of information would please her.
There was a preparation process that her mother had to go through when you told her something. Subtle mentions here and there, slowly increasing in length over a period of time, until you told her outright what you were getting at. Then you dealt with the aftermath of her knowing the information, whether it be good or bad. Reese theorized after receiving her mother's message on her answering machine that Simon hadn't known this rule and had simply told her mother she ended their engagement which made what would have been a bad reaction using their usual slow hinting process a thousand times worse. It wasn't as if Reese could blame him, if she were Simon she would have simply blurted it out too. Dawdling and trying to spare her mother's feelings seemed like it would just make things worse in this situation.
When she didn't call her parents back Reese thought she wouldn't hear from them for quite some time. That they would be too upset, too disappointed in her, to want more contact than her mother's angry message. She was proven wrong on Monday morning when she looked at the Caller ID on her BlackBerry and saw the word Dad glaring large at her as it continued to ring. For several moments she remained still, staring at the phone, not really believing it was him and when she finally answered it, she said hesitantly, "Hello?"
"Reese," Forrest said her name in a relieved sigh.
"Dad," Reese managed to say, trying to keep the emotion out of her voice and sure she was failing. She didn't know what to say next, there was so much she wanted to tell him, to try and explain, but she didn't know where to start. This meant Reese fell back on the one topic they'd always shared as second nature throughout their relationship. "How's Mother?"
Another sigh and then Forrest said soft and solemn, "Lets not talk about her. I want to know how you are. I got your message, Reese, and I'm not sure what you were trying to tell me. Do you really mean to say you spent all that time with Simon and were never in love with him?"
"I love Simon, I do," said Reese quietly, a sort of desperation in her need to explain. "He was so good to me, I know, but there was always something missing with him. I tried to make it work but I couldn't and the wedding was getting closer…"
"You panicked," supplied Forrest who was used to this reaction from his daughter. It was a tried and true response she had developed since a small child and often he had been the one to pick up the pieces when she did so. Another pause then he said, sounding concerned, "Why did you leave a message on my cell phone? Were you scared I'd be upset with you? That I wouldn't love you anymore?"
If asked by anyone Reese would freely admit she was a Daddy's girl. Given her rocky relationship with her mother and the perpetual feeling that she wasn't good enough Reese always had around her she didn't see how she could be anything but. Reese thought the reason she was so attached to her father was that he could be so very open with his emotions around her. He never failed to tell her he loved her and was proud of her and there was a warmth about how he treated her that just made her feel fuzzy inside when she was with him. Still, as much as she loved her father and was close to him, there was the fact he could make her cry, perhaps more easily than her mother. Maybe because she cared so much for him and felt such a bond with him that whatever he said affected her more than her mother. Reese forced herself to try and stop caring what her mother said over the years since it was always so hurtful but she never did that with her father and as a result his words always had more of an impact.
"Reese," Forrest said her name in that deep voice of his. There was an unspoken plea to how he said her name and she knew he could hear her crying. "Don't think that. Please, don't ever think that. I wanted you to marry Simon because I thought you were happy with him. It seemed like you were happy with him, happier than I've ever seen you at least, but if you weren't how could I be angry you ended things?"
Rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand and staring at her framed sketches on the wall, Reese said roughly, "You mean that? You're really not disappointed or mad with me for breaking up with Simon?"
"Well," said Forrest almost reluctantly. "I can't say I wasn't disappointed, honey. I won't lie to you. I liked the idea of my daughter getting married to a man I approve of and maybe moving back into town but if you weren't happy with him I can't be angry about it." A pause then he said kindly, "You've got to understand, the disappointment isn't about you, it comes from being a parent and wanting the best for your child. I thought Simon was a part of giving that to you so of course I'm going to be disappointed when I find out he's not."
"Dad," Reese felt herself about to cry again and she tried to stop it with a short bursting laugh, one of utter relief caused from discovering she hadn't ruined things with her father. That their relationship was still in tact even after ending her engagement to Simon and she hoped that she could say the same once she decided to come out to him. "Thanks. You're the best. You know that, right?"
"I had my suspicions," said Forrest with a chuckle. A touch of humor still present, he asked, "If really am the best does that mean you'll move back to New York and come work with me? Williams & Williams, so nice you say it twice, remember?"
Shaking her head and laughing again, Reese leaned back in her ergonomic chair, spinning it slightly as she said, "How could I work with you? You still don't know what solar energy is about much less the technology behind harnessing it in a large structure."
"That's why you come work with me and teach me about it," said Forrest in the same reasonable tones Reese often employed. When Reese laughed at this he made a noise of surrender then said, "Fine. I give up but only for now. Just know the offer stands and I'll never abandon the idea of having my daughter in the same city as me where I can pop in on her whenever I like. Paris isn't conducive to our Sunday brunches."
"You could always come here," said Reese and she faintly realized she meant it. She would love having her father in Paris with her, in the place that in the past few days had suddenly become so much more like home because it was where she could finally be herself. Reese wondered if her father came for a visit if he would see the difference in her, if he would recognize how much happier she had become since meeting Bianca and ending her engagement to Simon. The thought made her want him to be there instantly because she was sure if what he said was true, that all he wanted was for her to be happy, that there was no way he wouldn't be ecstatic to see her now, to see her with Bianca, and to know that the brunette was the one who caused such a dramatic change in her life. "I'd love it if you would."
"I feel the same," replied Forrest warmly and Reese swore she could hear the wheels in his head turning, already working out his schedule. "I'm stuck in the middle of two projects that can't be left for at least three months. But you've said Paris is beautiful in the fall, haven't you?"
"It's beautiful any time of year," corrected Reese with the ingrained pride most people gained after living in the city for any length of time. "I mean it, Dad. It would fantastic if you could come for a visit. I'd like that so much."
A pause then Forrest's voice was cautious as he said, "Just me or would your mother also be welcome?"
"I'm not the problem, she is," said Reese, unable to help her immediate and stubborn response. "She's the one that's never happy with me no matter what I do. That's why I stayed with Simon for so long because it was the only thing I've ever done she actually approved of and part of me thought eventually I'd see in him, in us, what everyone else did. Only that never happened and I couldn't keep pretending."
"Reese," Forrest said her name and there was that plea again, that begging for her to understand and Reese had tried, she tried understanding so many times when it came to her mother but ultimately she always failed. It was the same thing that probably continued to keep hurting her again and again in their relationship. "Your mother wants the same thing for you as I do. She just wants you to be happy and I think she said those things because she's gotten so close to Simon these past months in planning the wedding."
"I know," muttered Reese and she rubbed at her eyes once more, in an attempt to stop the tears before they started. "It doesn't feel that way though. It feels like she loves Simon more than she loves me, that she was more concerned he was hurt than I was unhappy."
Silence and it was just the sound of her father's breathing, then Forrest said, sounding so very sad, "I don't know how things got this bad between the two of you, Reese. We need to fix it though. You need to know your mother loves you and sometimes I don't think you do."
"I'm sorry," said Reese weakly, hating that she made her father sound that way but feeling incapable of reassuring him. She wanted to tell him that she knew her mother loved her but she couldn't because honestly, she didn't feel like she knew that. Reese wanted to believe that, just as much as she wanted to reassure her father now, but she couldn't find it in her. Not after being hurt by her mother countless times and feeling that ever present sense of rejection from her in their relationship. "I love you, Dad. I really do and I know you mean well." Turning in her chair and looking in the direction of Bianca's house, Reese swallowed hard, knowing she had to end this conversation or she would end up bursting into tears and she really didn't feel like doing that. Not when the day had started so very well. "I've got to go."
"All right," Forrest sighed. There was a smile in his voice as he continued, "Call me soon?"
"I will," promised Reese and then the call was over.
Reese kept staring into the distance, looking where Bianca's house was hidden down the street and feeling grateful that the tears never came. For several moments Reese remained where she was then releasing a shuddering breath and feeling the need for comfort and commiseration, she rose to her feet and headed for Audrey's office. Ignoring the curious looks from her employees who were used to seeing Audrey going into her office but not vice versa. There was a running joke spread amongst their workers that Audrey had a sixth sense about finding Reese no matter where she was in the building. On a few separate occasions, Reese had been in various departments when Audrey appeared out of nowhere, blueprints in hand, asking for her advice and leaving the blonde perplexed how she knew where she was.
Opening the door to Audrey's office, she found the other woman buried beneath a pile of schematics. There were so many that they were hanging off of the desk and slipping onto the floor, leaving a trail as Reese walked inside. Raising an eyebrow at this, Reese wondered yet again how Audrey managed to get anything done in the eternal mess that was her office. Despite how much she nagged about it and Maurice sniped the redhead never changed her ways, insisting that sloppiness was an ingrained part of her personality that aided her creative process. It didn't help that her assistant for over ten years, Claude, was equally messy and supported Audrey's stance on the subject.
"Be careful!" Audrey cried out, rising up from behind her desk and causing three more schematics to fall onto the floor. "Those are my designs for the Rodolph project. The ones that you've informed me Maurice find unusually art deco."
Tip toeing around said designs, Reese said sardonically, "Should I pick them up? Or, let me guess, they need to stay on the floor so they can reproduce with my designs for Sig. Passeri and create a brand new blueprint for the Ebersbach account."
"I do not appreciate sarcasm about my creative workspace," Audrey sniffed, pointing a perfectly painted fingernail in Reese's direction as she bent down to retrieve her fallen designs. "Do you see me remarking on your dismally minimalist space that is so free of clutter?"
"Because there's nothing to remark on, it's perfect," said Reese rather smugly, laughing when Audrey snorted in disdain. When the redhead lifted her head up and started sifting through all the designs on her desk, Reese asked, "Are you busy? Should I come back later?"
Immediately stopping her search, Audrey looked at Reese, her green eyes inspecting the other woman with a sharp and almost invasive type of curiosity then a slow smile formed on her features. "Something good has happened," she declared, leaning back in her chair. "Tell me."
"Simon flew back early on Friday," revealed Reese, carefully making her way around the design littered floor until she was safely sitting in the chair in front of Audrey's desk that didn't have paper resting on it.
"That does not sound good," remarked Audrey with a frown.
"I ended the engagement," Reese said and she couldn't help laughing at Audrey's clap of delight on hearing this. "My mother is less than pleased but I spoke to my father today and it seems like he understands. I took your advice on coming out to them; I think it's best to wait. To let the break up with Simon sink in first before I tell them anything more."
"And Bianca?" asked Audrey expectantly.
"We spent the entire weekend together, all three of us," said Reese, smiling automatically as she recalled their time together. "Miranda is so much fun to be with and I know it's only been in the past year or so I've considered having children but it doesn't feel like that when I'm with them. It's just so easy, Audrey. Like it's where I was meant to be, you know?"
"Who is Miranda?" asked Audrey, a light frown on her features.
Seeing the look of confusion, Reese realized she never mentioned the childl to her friend. "Miranda is Bianca's daughter, I was watching them play together in the park and Bianca kicked a soccer ball at me," said Reese humorously. "Remember when I came in with my tragically damaged face? That's what caused it, me unable to tear my eyes away from them because they were so beautiful together."
"She has a child," Audrey said and her eyes became wide. She was silent, considering Reese for a long moment, then said, "This doesn't bother you though. You care for this child as much as her mother? I think they surely must come hand in hand."
"Miranda is a wonderful little girl," said Reese strongly and how she said this left no doubt how she felt for the child. "I know could end up loving her just as much as her mother if everything works out how I want it to."
"Love," echoed Audrey and she leaned back in her chair again, studying Reese with a serious gaze. A slow smile forming again, she remarked, "This is very good news indeed. Though I suspect you are leaving another detail out. What else happened?"
"I guess you could say I made sure Bianca knew what I wanted," said Reese shyly and when Audrey continued to look at her with an expression that told her to go on, she laughed. "All right!" she exclaimed, waving her hands. "I told her I wanted us to be dating and she agreed and now, well… we're starting a relationship. I'm so happy, Audrey, really I am," Reese confessed, covering her eyes with her hand, laughing because she couldn't quite believe how she got to this place, it was so very sudden, but it was incredibly welcome all the same.
"It seems you've had a most productive weekend," said Audrey, her voice low and playful, and when Reese moved her hand down to peer at her friend, she found the other woman smirking at her. "I must say that I approve thoroughly."
"Me too," Reese replied with a matching smile.
---
Bianca and Reese were enjoying a quiet dinner at the brunette's house on Friday with Miranda, Adele, and Nathan that Madame Trotter prepared earlier in the evening when the phone rang. Excusing herself with a wry smile, Bianca answered it and when she gave an amused laugh then told the person on the other end to slow down, Reese had the strangest feeling their quiet evening wasn't going to be quite so quiet anymore. Once she returned to the table, Bianca mouthed to the blonde she would tell her about it later.
When dinner was over and after Bianca had a short discussion with Adele who took Miranda in hand to have some playtime in her room, Bianca looked to Reese with an apologetic but humorous expression. "Okay," she said the word almost dramatically, holding up her hands as if to placate the blonde. "That was Sofie. Apparently she has tickets to a premiere of some show for tonight that will go to waste unless we use them. She was supposed to go with Penelope, who designed the costumes, but something came up with her family whom she cursed for about ten minutes before informing me the tickets are at the box office waiting for us."
"What show?" asked Reese, holding back her urge to laugh but wearing a good natured smile on her features.
"I don't know!" Bianca exclaimed, laughing and looking exasperated with her friend. "She hung up before I could get her to tell me. All I know is where it's at and when it starts and that apparently the tickets were free and therefore must be used."
"It's a mystery," Reese drawled and she walked over to Bianca, winding her hands behind other woman's head and slipping her fingers into the dark hair, playing with the strands. Smiling on feeling Bianca's hands resting at her waist, Reese asked, "Do you want to go?"
"Do you?" asked Bianca wryly. "We can if you want, I've already asked Adele to stay the night and she's taking her usual room."
"Your friend, your tickets," pointed out Reese, doing this out of sheer impishness, knowing Bianca wanted her to decide.
"My date," Bianca said in droll tones, tapping Reese on her nose and laughing when the blonde scrunched it up in response. "Seriously," she said, tilting her head to one side. "Should we go? Since it's Sofie this could be any number of things. Many of which are strange."
"How strange?" asked Reese with a genuine curiosity.
"Pretty strange," admitted Bianca, giving a laugh as they swayed together in an affectionate hold. Tipping her head back, she stared up at the ceiling and said in rather mournful tones, "You aren't going to decide for me are you? Maybe we should flip a coin."
"I call heads," said Reese who was already rummaging through the pockets of her pants to locate the 50 cent euro she had from her last coffee run at work. When she found it and wore a fairly triumphant expression on doing so, she saw Bianca looking at her fondly. "What?"
"What's heads for a French euro?" asked Bianca playfully. "The 50 euro cent side or the lady in the flowing dress?"
"The lady in the flowing dress, of course," said Reese, looking at the brunette as if she should have naturally known this. "You know it's actually called the sower, right? After the biblical parable in the Gospel of Thomas."
"No, I didn't know that," said Bianca with a laugh. "Should I have?"
"Maybe," said Reese thoughtfully. "Anyway," she stated, reluctantly pulling away from the other woman and placing the 50 euro cent coin in the center of her right hand. "I'm heads and you're tails." With that, Reese flipped the coin into the air, catching it easily and slapping it onto the top of her left hand, revealing the sower side of the coin with a good deal of showmanship. "Ah ha," she drawled happily. "Heads. I win."
"Does that mean we're going?" asked Bianca humorously.
A moment passed then Reese looked at Bianca with a face of honest confusion as she said, "I hadn't thought about it." When Bianca groaned, she laughed, putting the coin back in her pocket and drawing the other woman back to her by hooking her thumbs into the belt loops of Bianca's pants. "Don't pout," she teased, moving in and nuzzling their noses together before kissing the brunette lightly on the lips. "I'll decide since you've transformed into wishy washy Charlie Brown tonight."
"What does that make you? The little red haired girl?" Bianca inquired in dry tones, though she smiled as Reese kissed her again.
"I always wanted her to have a thing with Lucy for some reason," confessed Reese, looking hurt when Bianca burst into laughter at this. "What? You're mocking my choice in Charlie Brown couples? I bet you're just a die-hard Peppermint Patty/Marcie fan, that's all. Keeps you from seeing the potential with the rest of the characters."
"You're funny," Bianca accused affectionately, cupping Reese's face in her hands, thumbs moving in a tender caress. "But you still haven't said whether or not we're going out on our mystery date."
"I say yes. What's the worst that can happen?" said Reese and though she believed this, the arched eyebrow of skepticism that Bianca gave her in response made her wonder if perhaps she hadn't made the wisest decision.
---
12 Avenue George V was a fairly nondescript street and so was the building that their tickets resided inside. If you discounted the flashing neon sign that read le Crazy Horse de Paris and the brightly painted figures of naked women beneath the word Taboo on a promotional poster, that is. It was at this time that Reese realized Bianca had been correct to surround herself in skepticism at the nature of Sofie's generosity.
"Is this what I think it is?" asked Reese as they stood off to one side of the blacked out doors which were actively spinning as people entered the establishment, all laughing happily and saying things that confirmed her rising suspicions.
"It's a burlesque show, lesbian themed," said Bianca with droll humor. "I remember Sofie mentioning it to me because she was thrilled Penelope had managed to snag a job making costumes for them. Apparently she had secret ambitions of being a showgirl once." She looked to Reese, a bemused expression on her features and she offered her arm to the blonde as she said, "Shall we? Free tickets, remember?"
Shrugging her shoulders and giving a laugh, Reese took Bianca's arm and followed her into the club. She wasn’t quite sure what to expect but positive she was going to have a good time, if only because of the woman at her side.
A few hours later, they came filtering out of le Crazy Horse with the other guests, laughing and speaking of the spectacle they had just witnessed, remarking on the large headdresses and elaborate dancing that was sensual but almost ridiculous in its sexuality at times. Walking to the car, Bianca was in the process of texting Sofie, demanding to know exactly what costumes Penelope designed because most of them consisted of almost nonexistent material. Once they were inside the vehicle, Bianca and Reese stopped for a moment, looking at each other and in a moment of utter synchronicity they both professed their desire to not go home. After some debate, the next stop was 54 Rue Jean Baptiste Pigalle and Chez Moune, one of the few lesbian clubs not located in Le Marais.
Upon walking inside the club they were greeted by the exuberant sound of French club music and wearing an impossibly adorable expression of overdone imploring Bianca looked at the dance floor. Giving in with a laugh and a fond kiss to the lips, Reese allowed Bianca to lead her onto the crowded dance floor where a vast number of women were moving to the music that was as upbeat as it was uninhibited, inspiring that behavior in its listeners and Reese couldn't help but surrender to it, especially in the wake of Bianca's enthusiasm.
Dancing was never something Reese considered herself particularly good at. When she was younger and in private school, she wanted desperately to join the lacrosse team even though it was a boys only sport at the time. She remembered telling her mother this and promptly winding up in a deluge of ballet classes wearing an uncomfortable pink tutu that sometimes she shot at her father like a giant rubber band much to her mother's horror. Her first performance at the age of nine was her very last because of an unfortunate pirouette off the stage that thoroughly embarrassed her mother and terrified her father who jumped out of his seat and imitated his younger days playing left field on the baseball team by leaping to catch her before she hit the ground. While Reese found the incident embarrassing if not hilarious in her old age it remained a sore spot for her mother and resulted in Reese having a wariness for the art of dance even as an adult.
Besides the pirouette off the stage and memory of near bodily harm, she thought her lack of affinity for dancing mostly was due to the fact dancing was something that, if done well, was instinctual. It was all about movement and song and feeling. There was a certain lack of thought, a loss of control, that accompanied true dancing where you let the music wash over you and your body interpreted the sound into movement.
If there was something that Reese always had a problem with it was a loss of control. Everything in her life had been precisely planned and carefully considered for so very long that she wasn't entirely sure how to stop. She was trying to because now she finally didn't have to live that way anymore and it was such a relief. It was hard to let go of old habits though and that's why as hard as she tried to emulate Bianca's carefree motions on the dance floor, she knew ultimately she was failing and it made her a tad depressed to know this.
That's when she felt Bianca's right hand slide up her side until it lightly gripped her neck, pulling Reese in close and Bianca's breath was warm and sweet on her skin, just like her voice as she said, "Don't try so hard. Just feel."
Not content to let her words do all of the explaining, Bianca rested her hands on Reese's waist and in a smooth but gentle movement, she turned the blonde around so her back was resting against the other woman's front. Keeping her hands firmly in place, Reese felt the soft push from Bianca, encouraging her hips to move in time with the music, mimicking Bianca's actions and before she knew it she was dancing in perfect sync with the brunette. The music continued to play, pulsing and rhythmic, leading them along and delighting in this and the feel of the younger woman's body pressed up against her, the heat of her skin and the full swell of her breasts, Reese found herself captivated.
By the sound, by the feel, by the emotion, and she knew it was slightly ridiculous. To experience so much from a simple dance in a crowded club but she did and she knew it was because of Bianca who taught her somehow, some way, to just let go and experience the moment and did it in such a way that Reese didn't feel at all frightened by something that before tonight was a complete unknown.
Turning just a bit in Bianca's arms, Reese reached up with her right hand, burying her hands in faintly sweat dampened hair, and tugging the other woman forward, needing desperately to kiss her because it was the only way she knew to express what she was feeling. She prayed that Bianca understood what she was saying with the kiss, that she knew with every nip, tug, and suck that Reese was trying to say how very much she loved what they were doing now. How she loved what Bianca had brought to her life and what she taught her not just tonight but every night since they met. How to have a real and true freedom and to live with a carefree happiness and self-acceptance.
Something that helped Reese forget the embarrassment of the pirouette off the stage and break free from the constraint of constant thought. Allowing her to finally learn how to dance well at last.
To be continued...
SERIES: All My Children
AUTHOR:
dreiserEMAIL: dreiser7@yahoo.com
YAHOO ID: dreiser7
MY WEBSITE: http://www.dreiser.org/
CONTENT: F/F romance. Bianca/Reese. Breeze.
SUMMARY: Reese Williams had experienced a thousand glimpses of the life she always wanted but until she met Bianca Montgomery she never thought she could have it for herself.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but my gratitude at having a decent beta.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The song that Bianca and Reese dance to is Decollage by Alizee whom I love if only for being discovered by Mylene Farmer who is made of pop music win. I link the song if you want to listen to it.
Decollage by Alizee
A Thousand Glimpses
By: Dreiser
Twelve
The language that Reese spoke with her father was one of euphemisms. They never tended to say what they actually meant. Instead they hinted at it, politely tip toeing around the conversation in hopes of preventing hurt feelings on either side. Reese wasn't sure of her father's own relationship with his parents but she was sure that a good deal of this habit came from the same place hers did. From dealing with their mother and learning that it was never wise to directly tell her anything unless you knew for certain the piece of information would please her.
There was a preparation process that her mother had to go through when you told her something. Subtle mentions here and there, slowly increasing in length over a period of time, until you told her outright what you were getting at. Then you dealt with the aftermath of her knowing the information, whether it be good or bad. Reese theorized after receiving her mother's message on her answering machine that Simon hadn't known this rule and had simply told her mother she ended their engagement which made what would have been a bad reaction using their usual slow hinting process a thousand times worse. It wasn't as if Reese could blame him, if she were Simon she would have simply blurted it out too. Dawdling and trying to spare her mother's feelings seemed like it would just make things worse in this situation.
When she didn't call her parents back Reese thought she wouldn't hear from them for quite some time. That they would be too upset, too disappointed in her, to want more contact than her mother's angry message. She was proven wrong on Monday morning when she looked at the Caller ID on her BlackBerry and saw the word Dad glaring large at her as it continued to ring. For several moments she remained still, staring at the phone, not really believing it was him and when she finally answered it, she said hesitantly, "Hello?"
"Reese," Forrest said her name in a relieved sigh.
"Dad," Reese managed to say, trying to keep the emotion out of her voice and sure she was failing. She didn't know what to say next, there was so much she wanted to tell him, to try and explain, but she didn't know where to start. This meant Reese fell back on the one topic they'd always shared as second nature throughout their relationship. "How's Mother?"
Another sigh and then Forrest said soft and solemn, "Lets not talk about her. I want to know how you are. I got your message, Reese, and I'm not sure what you were trying to tell me. Do you really mean to say you spent all that time with Simon and were never in love with him?"
"I love Simon, I do," said Reese quietly, a sort of desperation in her need to explain. "He was so good to me, I know, but there was always something missing with him. I tried to make it work but I couldn't and the wedding was getting closer…"
"You panicked," supplied Forrest who was used to this reaction from his daughter. It was a tried and true response she had developed since a small child and often he had been the one to pick up the pieces when she did so. Another pause then he said, sounding concerned, "Why did you leave a message on my cell phone? Were you scared I'd be upset with you? That I wouldn't love you anymore?"
If asked by anyone Reese would freely admit she was a Daddy's girl. Given her rocky relationship with her mother and the perpetual feeling that she wasn't good enough Reese always had around her she didn't see how she could be anything but. Reese thought the reason she was so attached to her father was that he could be so very open with his emotions around her. He never failed to tell her he loved her and was proud of her and there was a warmth about how he treated her that just made her feel fuzzy inside when she was with him. Still, as much as she loved her father and was close to him, there was the fact he could make her cry, perhaps more easily than her mother. Maybe because she cared so much for him and felt such a bond with him that whatever he said affected her more than her mother. Reese forced herself to try and stop caring what her mother said over the years since it was always so hurtful but she never did that with her father and as a result his words always had more of an impact.
"Reese," Forrest said her name in that deep voice of his. There was an unspoken plea to how he said her name and she knew he could hear her crying. "Don't think that. Please, don't ever think that. I wanted you to marry Simon because I thought you were happy with him. It seemed like you were happy with him, happier than I've ever seen you at least, but if you weren't how could I be angry you ended things?"
Rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand and staring at her framed sketches on the wall, Reese said roughly, "You mean that? You're really not disappointed or mad with me for breaking up with Simon?"
"Well," said Forrest almost reluctantly. "I can't say I wasn't disappointed, honey. I won't lie to you. I liked the idea of my daughter getting married to a man I approve of and maybe moving back into town but if you weren't happy with him I can't be angry about it." A pause then he said kindly, "You've got to understand, the disappointment isn't about you, it comes from being a parent and wanting the best for your child. I thought Simon was a part of giving that to you so of course I'm going to be disappointed when I find out he's not."
"Dad," Reese felt herself about to cry again and she tried to stop it with a short bursting laugh, one of utter relief caused from discovering she hadn't ruined things with her father. That their relationship was still in tact even after ending her engagement to Simon and she hoped that she could say the same once she decided to come out to him. "Thanks. You're the best. You know that, right?"
"I had my suspicions," said Forrest with a chuckle. A touch of humor still present, he asked, "If really am the best does that mean you'll move back to New York and come work with me? Williams & Williams, so nice you say it twice, remember?"
Shaking her head and laughing again, Reese leaned back in her ergonomic chair, spinning it slightly as she said, "How could I work with you? You still don't know what solar energy is about much less the technology behind harnessing it in a large structure."
"That's why you come work with me and teach me about it," said Forrest in the same reasonable tones Reese often employed. When Reese laughed at this he made a noise of surrender then said, "Fine. I give up but only for now. Just know the offer stands and I'll never abandon the idea of having my daughter in the same city as me where I can pop in on her whenever I like. Paris isn't conducive to our Sunday brunches."
"You could always come here," said Reese and she faintly realized she meant it. She would love having her father in Paris with her, in the place that in the past few days had suddenly become so much more like home because it was where she could finally be herself. Reese wondered if her father came for a visit if he would see the difference in her, if he would recognize how much happier she had become since meeting Bianca and ending her engagement to Simon. The thought made her want him to be there instantly because she was sure if what he said was true, that all he wanted was for her to be happy, that there was no way he wouldn't be ecstatic to see her now, to see her with Bianca, and to know that the brunette was the one who caused such a dramatic change in her life. "I'd love it if you would."
"I feel the same," replied Forrest warmly and Reese swore she could hear the wheels in his head turning, already working out his schedule. "I'm stuck in the middle of two projects that can't be left for at least three months. But you've said Paris is beautiful in the fall, haven't you?"
"It's beautiful any time of year," corrected Reese with the ingrained pride most people gained after living in the city for any length of time. "I mean it, Dad. It would fantastic if you could come for a visit. I'd like that so much."
A pause then Forrest's voice was cautious as he said, "Just me or would your mother also be welcome?"
"I'm not the problem, she is," said Reese, unable to help her immediate and stubborn response. "She's the one that's never happy with me no matter what I do. That's why I stayed with Simon for so long because it was the only thing I've ever done she actually approved of and part of me thought eventually I'd see in him, in us, what everyone else did. Only that never happened and I couldn't keep pretending."
"Reese," Forrest said her name and there was that plea again, that begging for her to understand and Reese had tried, she tried understanding so many times when it came to her mother but ultimately she always failed. It was the same thing that probably continued to keep hurting her again and again in their relationship. "Your mother wants the same thing for you as I do. She just wants you to be happy and I think she said those things because she's gotten so close to Simon these past months in planning the wedding."
"I know," muttered Reese and she rubbed at her eyes once more, in an attempt to stop the tears before they started. "It doesn't feel that way though. It feels like she loves Simon more than she loves me, that she was more concerned he was hurt than I was unhappy."
Silence and it was just the sound of her father's breathing, then Forrest said, sounding so very sad, "I don't know how things got this bad between the two of you, Reese. We need to fix it though. You need to know your mother loves you and sometimes I don't think you do."
"I'm sorry," said Reese weakly, hating that she made her father sound that way but feeling incapable of reassuring him. She wanted to tell him that she knew her mother loved her but she couldn't because honestly, she didn't feel like she knew that. Reese wanted to believe that, just as much as she wanted to reassure her father now, but she couldn't find it in her. Not after being hurt by her mother countless times and feeling that ever present sense of rejection from her in their relationship. "I love you, Dad. I really do and I know you mean well." Turning in her chair and looking in the direction of Bianca's house, Reese swallowed hard, knowing she had to end this conversation or she would end up bursting into tears and she really didn't feel like doing that. Not when the day had started so very well. "I've got to go."
"All right," Forrest sighed. There was a smile in his voice as he continued, "Call me soon?"
"I will," promised Reese and then the call was over.
Reese kept staring into the distance, looking where Bianca's house was hidden down the street and feeling grateful that the tears never came. For several moments Reese remained where she was then releasing a shuddering breath and feeling the need for comfort and commiseration, she rose to her feet and headed for Audrey's office. Ignoring the curious looks from her employees who were used to seeing Audrey going into her office but not vice versa. There was a running joke spread amongst their workers that Audrey had a sixth sense about finding Reese no matter where she was in the building. On a few separate occasions, Reese had been in various departments when Audrey appeared out of nowhere, blueprints in hand, asking for her advice and leaving the blonde perplexed how she knew where she was.
Opening the door to Audrey's office, she found the other woman buried beneath a pile of schematics. There were so many that they were hanging off of the desk and slipping onto the floor, leaving a trail as Reese walked inside. Raising an eyebrow at this, Reese wondered yet again how Audrey managed to get anything done in the eternal mess that was her office. Despite how much she nagged about it and Maurice sniped the redhead never changed her ways, insisting that sloppiness was an ingrained part of her personality that aided her creative process. It didn't help that her assistant for over ten years, Claude, was equally messy and supported Audrey's stance on the subject.
"Be careful!" Audrey cried out, rising up from behind her desk and causing three more schematics to fall onto the floor. "Those are my designs for the Rodolph project. The ones that you've informed me Maurice find unusually art deco."
Tip toeing around said designs, Reese said sardonically, "Should I pick them up? Or, let me guess, they need to stay on the floor so they can reproduce with my designs for Sig. Passeri and create a brand new blueprint for the Ebersbach account."
"I do not appreciate sarcasm about my creative workspace," Audrey sniffed, pointing a perfectly painted fingernail in Reese's direction as she bent down to retrieve her fallen designs. "Do you see me remarking on your dismally minimalist space that is so free of clutter?"
"Because there's nothing to remark on, it's perfect," said Reese rather smugly, laughing when Audrey snorted in disdain. When the redhead lifted her head up and started sifting through all the designs on her desk, Reese asked, "Are you busy? Should I come back later?"
Immediately stopping her search, Audrey looked at Reese, her green eyes inspecting the other woman with a sharp and almost invasive type of curiosity then a slow smile formed on her features. "Something good has happened," she declared, leaning back in her chair. "Tell me."
"Simon flew back early on Friday," revealed Reese, carefully making her way around the design littered floor until she was safely sitting in the chair in front of Audrey's desk that didn't have paper resting on it.
"That does not sound good," remarked Audrey with a frown.
"I ended the engagement," Reese said and she couldn't help laughing at Audrey's clap of delight on hearing this. "My mother is less than pleased but I spoke to my father today and it seems like he understands. I took your advice on coming out to them; I think it's best to wait. To let the break up with Simon sink in first before I tell them anything more."
"And Bianca?" asked Audrey expectantly.
"We spent the entire weekend together, all three of us," said Reese, smiling automatically as she recalled their time together. "Miranda is so much fun to be with and I know it's only been in the past year or so I've considered having children but it doesn't feel like that when I'm with them. It's just so easy, Audrey. Like it's where I was meant to be, you know?"
"Who is Miranda?" asked Audrey, a light frown on her features.
Seeing the look of confusion, Reese realized she never mentioned the childl to her friend. "Miranda is Bianca's daughter, I was watching them play together in the park and Bianca kicked a soccer ball at me," said Reese humorously. "Remember when I came in with my tragically damaged face? That's what caused it, me unable to tear my eyes away from them because they were so beautiful together."
"She has a child," Audrey said and her eyes became wide. She was silent, considering Reese for a long moment, then said, "This doesn't bother you though. You care for this child as much as her mother? I think they surely must come hand in hand."
"Miranda is a wonderful little girl," said Reese strongly and how she said this left no doubt how she felt for the child. "I know could end up loving her just as much as her mother if everything works out how I want it to."
"Love," echoed Audrey and she leaned back in her chair again, studying Reese with a serious gaze. A slow smile forming again, she remarked, "This is very good news indeed. Though I suspect you are leaving another detail out. What else happened?"
"I guess you could say I made sure Bianca knew what I wanted," said Reese shyly and when Audrey continued to look at her with an expression that told her to go on, she laughed. "All right!" she exclaimed, waving her hands. "I told her I wanted us to be dating and she agreed and now, well… we're starting a relationship. I'm so happy, Audrey, really I am," Reese confessed, covering her eyes with her hand, laughing because she couldn't quite believe how she got to this place, it was so very sudden, but it was incredibly welcome all the same.
"It seems you've had a most productive weekend," said Audrey, her voice low and playful, and when Reese moved her hand down to peer at her friend, she found the other woman smirking at her. "I must say that I approve thoroughly."
"Me too," Reese replied with a matching smile.
---
Bianca and Reese were enjoying a quiet dinner at the brunette's house on Friday with Miranda, Adele, and Nathan that Madame Trotter prepared earlier in the evening when the phone rang. Excusing herself with a wry smile, Bianca answered it and when she gave an amused laugh then told the person on the other end to slow down, Reese had the strangest feeling their quiet evening wasn't going to be quite so quiet anymore. Once she returned to the table, Bianca mouthed to the blonde she would tell her about it later.
When dinner was over and after Bianca had a short discussion with Adele who took Miranda in hand to have some playtime in her room, Bianca looked to Reese with an apologetic but humorous expression. "Okay," she said the word almost dramatically, holding up her hands as if to placate the blonde. "That was Sofie. Apparently she has tickets to a premiere of some show for tonight that will go to waste unless we use them. She was supposed to go with Penelope, who designed the costumes, but something came up with her family whom she cursed for about ten minutes before informing me the tickets are at the box office waiting for us."
"What show?" asked Reese, holding back her urge to laugh but wearing a good natured smile on her features.
"I don't know!" Bianca exclaimed, laughing and looking exasperated with her friend. "She hung up before I could get her to tell me. All I know is where it's at and when it starts and that apparently the tickets were free and therefore must be used."
"It's a mystery," Reese drawled and she walked over to Bianca, winding her hands behind other woman's head and slipping her fingers into the dark hair, playing with the strands. Smiling on feeling Bianca's hands resting at her waist, Reese asked, "Do you want to go?"
"Do you?" asked Bianca wryly. "We can if you want, I've already asked Adele to stay the night and she's taking her usual room."
"Your friend, your tickets," pointed out Reese, doing this out of sheer impishness, knowing Bianca wanted her to decide.
"My date," Bianca said in droll tones, tapping Reese on her nose and laughing when the blonde scrunched it up in response. "Seriously," she said, tilting her head to one side. "Should we go? Since it's Sofie this could be any number of things. Many of which are strange."
"How strange?" asked Reese with a genuine curiosity.
"Pretty strange," admitted Bianca, giving a laugh as they swayed together in an affectionate hold. Tipping her head back, she stared up at the ceiling and said in rather mournful tones, "You aren't going to decide for me are you? Maybe we should flip a coin."
"I call heads," said Reese who was already rummaging through the pockets of her pants to locate the 50 cent euro she had from her last coffee run at work. When she found it and wore a fairly triumphant expression on doing so, she saw Bianca looking at her fondly. "What?"
"What's heads for a French euro?" asked Bianca playfully. "The 50 euro cent side or the lady in the flowing dress?"
"The lady in the flowing dress, of course," said Reese, looking at the brunette as if she should have naturally known this. "You know it's actually called the sower, right? After the biblical parable in the Gospel of Thomas."
"No, I didn't know that," said Bianca with a laugh. "Should I have?"
"Maybe," said Reese thoughtfully. "Anyway," she stated, reluctantly pulling away from the other woman and placing the 50 euro cent coin in the center of her right hand. "I'm heads and you're tails." With that, Reese flipped the coin into the air, catching it easily and slapping it onto the top of her left hand, revealing the sower side of the coin with a good deal of showmanship. "Ah ha," she drawled happily. "Heads. I win."
"Does that mean we're going?" asked Bianca humorously.
A moment passed then Reese looked at Bianca with a face of honest confusion as she said, "I hadn't thought about it." When Bianca groaned, she laughed, putting the coin back in her pocket and drawing the other woman back to her by hooking her thumbs into the belt loops of Bianca's pants. "Don't pout," she teased, moving in and nuzzling their noses together before kissing the brunette lightly on the lips. "I'll decide since you've transformed into wishy washy Charlie Brown tonight."
"What does that make you? The little red haired girl?" Bianca inquired in dry tones, though she smiled as Reese kissed her again.
"I always wanted her to have a thing with Lucy for some reason," confessed Reese, looking hurt when Bianca burst into laughter at this. "What? You're mocking my choice in Charlie Brown couples? I bet you're just a die-hard Peppermint Patty/Marcie fan, that's all. Keeps you from seeing the potential with the rest of the characters."
"You're funny," Bianca accused affectionately, cupping Reese's face in her hands, thumbs moving in a tender caress. "But you still haven't said whether or not we're going out on our mystery date."
"I say yes. What's the worst that can happen?" said Reese and though she believed this, the arched eyebrow of skepticism that Bianca gave her in response made her wonder if perhaps she hadn't made the wisest decision.
---
12 Avenue George V was a fairly nondescript street and so was the building that their tickets resided inside. If you discounted the flashing neon sign that read le Crazy Horse de Paris and the brightly painted figures of naked women beneath the word Taboo on a promotional poster, that is. It was at this time that Reese realized Bianca had been correct to surround herself in skepticism at the nature of Sofie's generosity.
"Is this what I think it is?" asked Reese as they stood off to one side of the blacked out doors which were actively spinning as people entered the establishment, all laughing happily and saying things that confirmed her rising suspicions.
"It's a burlesque show, lesbian themed," said Bianca with droll humor. "I remember Sofie mentioning it to me because she was thrilled Penelope had managed to snag a job making costumes for them. Apparently she had secret ambitions of being a showgirl once." She looked to Reese, a bemused expression on her features and she offered her arm to the blonde as she said, "Shall we? Free tickets, remember?"
Shrugging her shoulders and giving a laugh, Reese took Bianca's arm and followed her into the club. She wasn’t quite sure what to expect but positive she was going to have a good time, if only because of the woman at her side.
A few hours later, they came filtering out of le Crazy Horse with the other guests, laughing and speaking of the spectacle they had just witnessed, remarking on the large headdresses and elaborate dancing that was sensual but almost ridiculous in its sexuality at times. Walking to the car, Bianca was in the process of texting Sofie, demanding to know exactly what costumes Penelope designed because most of them consisted of almost nonexistent material. Once they were inside the vehicle, Bianca and Reese stopped for a moment, looking at each other and in a moment of utter synchronicity they both professed their desire to not go home. After some debate, the next stop was 54 Rue Jean Baptiste Pigalle and Chez Moune, one of the few lesbian clubs not located in Le Marais.
Upon walking inside the club they were greeted by the exuberant sound of French club music and wearing an impossibly adorable expression of overdone imploring Bianca looked at the dance floor. Giving in with a laugh and a fond kiss to the lips, Reese allowed Bianca to lead her onto the crowded dance floor where a vast number of women were moving to the music that was as upbeat as it was uninhibited, inspiring that behavior in its listeners and Reese couldn't help but surrender to it, especially in the wake of Bianca's enthusiasm.
Dancing was never something Reese considered herself particularly good at. When she was younger and in private school, she wanted desperately to join the lacrosse team even though it was a boys only sport at the time. She remembered telling her mother this and promptly winding up in a deluge of ballet classes wearing an uncomfortable pink tutu that sometimes she shot at her father like a giant rubber band much to her mother's horror. Her first performance at the age of nine was her very last because of an unfortunate pirouette off the stage that thoroughly embarrassed her mother and terrified her father who jumped out of his seat and imitated his younger days playing left field on the baseball team by leaping to catch her before she hit the ground. While Reese found the incident embarrassing if not hilarious in her old age it remained a sore spot for her mother and resulted in Reese having a wariness for the art of dance even as an adult.
Besides the pirouette off the stage and memory of near bodily harm, she thought her lack of affinity for dancing mostly was due to the fact dancing was something that, if done well, was instinctual. It was all about movement and song and feeling. There was a certain lack of thought, a loss of control, that accompanied true dancing where you let the music wash over you and your body interpreted the sound into movement.
If there was something that Reese always had a problem with it was a loss of control. Everything in her life had been precisely planned and carefully considered for so very long that she wasn't entirely sure how to stop. She was trying to because now she finally didn't have to live that way anymore and it was such a relief. It was hard to let go of old habits though and that's why as hard as she tried to emulate Bianca's carefree motions on the dance floor, she knew ultimately she was failing and it made her a tad depressed to know this.
That's when she felt Bianca's right hand slide up her side until it lightly gripped her neck, pulling Reese in close and Bianca's breath was warm and sweet on her skin, just like her voice as she said, "Don't try so hard. Just feel."
Not content to let her words do all of the explaining, Bianca rested her hands on Reese's waist and in a smooth but gentle movement, she turned the blonde around so her back was resting against the other woman's front. Keeping her hands firmly in place, Reese felt the soft push from Bianca, encouraging her hips to move in time with the music, mimicking Bianca's actions and before she knew it she was dancing in perfect sync with the brunette. The music continued to play, pulsing and rhythmic, leading them along and delighting in this and the feel of the younger woman's body pressed up against her, the heat of her skin and the full swell of her breasts, Reese found herself captivated.
By the sound, by the feel, by the emotion, and she knew it was slightly ridiculous. To experience so much from a simple dance in a crowded club but she did and she knew it was because of Bianca who taught her somehow, some way, to just let go and experience the moment and did it in such a way that Reese didn't feel at all frightened by something that before tonight was a complete unknown.
Turning just a bit in Bianca's arms, Reese reached up with her right hand, burying her hands in faintly sweat dampened hair, and tugging the other woman forward, needing desperately to kiss her because it was the only way she knew to express what she was feeling. She prayed that Bianca understood what she was saying with the kiss, that she knew with every nip, tug, and suck that Reese was trying to say how very much she loved what they were doing now. How she loved what Bianca had brought to her life and what she taught her not just tonight but every night since they met. How to have a real and true freedom and to live with a carefree happiness and self-acceptance.
Something that helped Reese forget the embarrassment of the pirouette off the stage and break free from the constraint of constant thought. Allowing her to finally learn how to dance well at last.
To be continued...
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Mom influence . . .
Re: Mom influence . . .
in a moment of utter synchronicity
Thank you!
Re: in a moment of utter synchronicity
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Nice to see a little more of Reese's relationship with her dad. It's kind of strange how when he appears on the show, he both seems like a nice guy because he clearly loves his daughter, and a not so nice guy for the way he handled Reese's coming out, Bianca's visit plus sending Simon out to disrupt things.
Love the further glimpse of the "Paris scene". Now I really want to go check out these places.
Reese's unfortunate adventures in ballet have a happy ending thanks to Bianca. Yay!
Wonderful and adorable as usual :)
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Reese's dad is a nice guy but he does some not so nice things which sucks but he means well, I think. Her mom will show up in person soon and I still don't have a name for her. Stinks. lol.
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actually. . . usually i have you help for most of it. haha.
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That made me laugh out loud and while my dog looked at me funny, I thank you. Heh. I hope you'll continue think I've got their pacing correct as I'm going to be writing the outing and the first sex scene coming up pretty soon. The last thing I want is for that to seem rushed.
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A Simple Wish
I do love them as a couple and hate reading so many of the negative posts.
Keep writing their loving story, and thank you for all of the feeling and professionalism you have given them!
-Poetanne
Re: A Simple Wish
I'm pleased you're enjoying my story and feel that I'm doing a decent job with the Bianca/Reese backstory.
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"What's the worst that can happen?"
Famous last words. This type of line always makes me laugh, especially when well-placed and used (which it was.)
I love the added meaning of the last few paragraphs... It's so powerful in such a short span of time fully explaining Reese's feelings for Bianca and conveying it to her as well.