SHEEP!

[dreiser]

What's the singular version of sheep? One sheep is the same as four sheep? I mean, if there's one cow it's cow and if there's four of them it's four cows. Sheep is just sheep no matter how many there are. Which is sort of weird, don't you think? Hrm.

But about my subject of sheep. I was coming home from the Galleria, the super fancy super gay super pretty mall, where I interviewed at Teavana which is a brand new high end store that sells, well, nothing but tea and tea type accessories and I ended up running into traffic because of sheep. There was an accident. The accident didn't involve the sheep but when the old ass truck that was carrying them stopped because of it, the back end of the truck, which was ghetto old wooden doors, popped open and all the sheep piled out. By the time I was on the highway there was sheep here, sheep there, sheep goddamn fucking everywhere.

I pulled off at the first exit and did some random shopping at Office Max and by the time I got back on the highway the sheep were cleared away. Before I pulled off at the exit one of the sheep walked by my window and I stared at it and it stared at me and it was a very strange moment. There was this mini van across from me and the kids in it rolled down the windows and were trying to pet the sheep. I kept wanting one of the sheep to bite them just because it would've been funny. I know. I'm mean but whatever. It would've been funny, admit it you bastards. You're just as mean as me. Because seriously, that would've totally had it making the news.

"When sheep attack!" Or something.

Comments

[tibialmusician.livejournal.com]

Oh god here's hoping Fox TV doesn't get wind of that. I can picture it.

[dreiser.livejournal.com]

"When sheep attack!" headline, you mean? lol. I can see those assholes picking up something like that too. But I refuse to call them news. They're information distortionist bastards and everyone should watch the kick ass documentary about them called Outfoxed. But the sheep was so fucking weird. I live in the city, right? And the mall I went for my interview at is near the city. It's not like I'm in farm land area here. But sheep! Oi.

[juwl.livejournal.com]

So, is that: "Sheep (the fluffy white-ish animals) spilled out on the highway..." or "Sheep (the brain dead morons who enjoy hanging out at malls, because they are the cultural centers of our society) spilled out on the highway, and why the fuck did you not run them over"?
And your mentioning "Outfoxed" reminded me of something someone said to me the other day... Grace was ringing up some moron customer, who was trying to use his Replay certificates to reserve movies, and he mentioned that MASH season 9 is coming out. Because I couldn't help myself, I pointed out that "Alan Alda was on West Wing a few weeks ago." To which said morons replied "You must be a Lib-rul" with the slurring of the speech that might have been caused by a mouth full of tobacco, or just because he needed to feel in control of the conversation. "I'm sorry?"
"You must be a Lib-rul, cause West Wing is a very liberal show."
"No, sir, I only watch TV when Mom's in the room, and/or we're eating dinner, it's usually little more than background noise anyway."
Apparently, I had out-thought the monstrous "Cust-O-Mer" as he turned back to attempting to check out.

[dreiser.livejournal.com]

Sheep the fluffy animals. And for some reason people don't tend to hang out at the Galleria. It doesn't have the whole bastion of mall dwellers other places seem to have. Sort of cool.