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I've been writing fanfic for a long ass time and in that long ass time I've gotten countless weird ass letters from people. I do appreciate people who read my fics but I think most of them have like… a strange viewpoint of who I am or why I write fanfic. I get a lot of stuff like, okay, the whole reason I'm doing this post is I got a nice new posting in my guestbook.
No, I don't read my guestbook all the time but I have all new entries mailed to me for approval because recently I've gotten a lot of fucking spam entries like, "Make your penis hard in twenty days with the penis hard wonder pill!" And I don't think people who look at my fanfic site much less my guestbook want to read that. Anyway, I get a new guestbook entry mailed to me and it was nice saying they like my Helacious fanfic and want me to write more then the person goes, "I know you say on your site you are a slave to your inspiration."
And I'm thinking… all right it's super nice and cool you like my Helacious fanfics but where do I say that? I never say that I'm a slave to fucking anything anywhere on my site. I think the most I say is I'm never going to finish It Starts With Faith because I think it sucks and I'm sort of ashamed I ever wrote it in the first place. But that's not being a slave to inspiration. That's me admitting a story of mine pretty much sucks and I sort of hate myself for writing it. I'm like my subject. I'm a slave to bitchiness.
Stuff like way back when in the yonder days of Willow and Tara when people would insist on having them call out mid orgasm shit like, "Oh goddess!" And then have meaningless and all super hoity toity stuck up intellectual Latin verses in the fic. Having them say Latin not only in their spells but in bed as well. It's like they're saying, "Ohhh! See? I can write in Latin! I know Latin. I'm fucking smart! Love my fic!"
No. I refuse to love the fic and the Latin is annoying and you should grasp that it's a dead language and as such it shouldn't be used so fucking much. Stop trying to revive it. Just because it was the basis for a lot of other languages doesn't mean it's good. It means it's dead and a basis for a lot of other languages.
Learn Sanskrit like Bette. At least that's fucking different. Or learn Klingon. Embrace your true nerdiness and just learn Klingon. They have S&M sex and Dax is hot.
Fanfic attracts a lot of that though. I think the big thing that got to me when I first started reading it with Xena, and carried over into Star Trek: Voyager and Buffy sort of, was that whole crap about fanfic writers and their fucking muse and posting on various boards or mailing lists that, "My muse isn't cooperating! It won't allow me to finish the new chapter of Red Roses Flying For Janeway On The Sea Of Stars."
I have no muse. My muse is dead. I buried her with my hamster Mr. Puffpuffs in the pet cemetery. Except I don't want my muse to ever be a zombie and come back to life but I would like to see Mr. Puffpuffs again because he was the best hamster I ever had and I think he would be a non-evil and cute zombie hamster.
The reason I write fanfic, and most people do I think, is because I like a television show or a comic book or a movie and I wanted to see something happen. A storyline develop or a romance happen or whatever and I know it's never going to occur the way I want it in canon so I fucking write it myself. That's that. There is no inspiration, no muse, and no other type of mother earth type lesbian cliché hanging onto why I write fanfic.
Simply put? I write fanfic because I'm a fucking nerd and there is no inspiration involved with my writing process. And if my rant has scared you and made you not want to email me or post in my LJ or whatever then you know, I'm sorry.
No, I don't read my guestbook all the time but I have all new entries mailed to me for approval because recently I've gotten a lot of fucking spam entries like, "Make your penis hard in twenty days with the penis hard wonder pill!" And I don't think people who look at my fanfic site much less my guestbook want to read that. Anyway, I get a new guestbook entry mailed to me and it was nice saying they like my Helacious fanfic and want me to write more then the person goes, "I know you say on your site you are a slave to your inspiration."
And I'm thinking… all right it's super nice and cool you like my Helacious fanfics but where do I say that? I never say that I'm a slave to fucking anything anywhere on my site. I think the most I say is I'm never going to finish It Starts With Faith because I think it sucks and I'm sort of ashamed I ever wrote it in the first place. But that's not being a slave to inspiration. That's me admitting a story of mine pretty much sucks and I sort of hate myself for writing it. I'm like my subject. I'm a slave to bitchiness.
Stuff like way back when in the yonder days of Willow and Tara when people would insist on having them call out mid orgasm shit like, "Oh goddess!" And then have meaningless and all super hoity toity stuck up intellectual Latin verses in the fic. Having them say Latin not only in their spells but in bed as well. It's like they're saying, "Ohhh! See? I can write in Latin! I know Latin. I'm fucking smart! Love my fic!"
No. I refuse to love the fic and the Latin is annoying and you should grasp that it's a dead language and as such it shouldn't be used so fucking much. Stop trying to revive it. Just because it was the basis for a lot of other languages doesn't mean it's good. It means it's dead and a basis for a lot of other languages.
Learn Sanskrit like Bette. At least that's fucking different. Or learn Klingon. Embrace your true nerdiness and just learn Klingon. They have S&M sex and Dax is hot.
Fanfic attracts a lot of that though. I think the big thing that got to me when I first started reading it with Xena, and carried over into Star Trek: Voyager and Buffy sort of, was that whole crap about fanfic writers and their fucking muse and posting on various boards or mailing lists that, "My muse isn't cooperating! It won't allow me to finish the new chapter of Red Roses Flying For Janeway On The Sea Of Stars."
I have no muse. My muse is dead. I buried her with my hamster Mr. Puffpuffs in the pet cemetery. Except I don't want my muse to ever be a zombie and come back to life but I would like to see Mr. Puffpuffs again because he was the best hamster I ever had and I think he would be a non-evil and cute zombie hamster.
The reason I write fanfic, and most people do I think, is because I like a television show or a comic book or a movie and I wanted to see something happen. A storyline develop or a romance happen or whatever and I know it's never going to occur the way I want it in canon so I fucking write it myself. That's that. There is no inspiration, no muse, and no other type of mother earth type lesbian cliché hanging onto why I write fanfic.
Simply put? I write fanfic because I'm a fucking nerd and there is no inspiration involved with my writing process. And if my rant has scared you and made you not want to email me or post in my LJ or whatever then you know, I'm sorry.
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-Megan Doe
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