Depressed Mode

[dreiser]

You ever just feel fucking depressed for no reason? I have that right now. It's not over my personal life or my stupid ass fandom obsessions or anything like that. I just feel fucking bummed out. Very odd. Maybe my meds are fucking with my head again? Dunno. The last time I felt like this was years ago. I remember being like this when I was twelve and I jumped off the roof of my parents house and landed in a bunch of bushes. Hmm. But I also felt really hyper and sort of crazy manic too. Man that was a weird feeling.

Don't worry. I don't feel like jumping off of anything. And I wasn't trying to fucking off myself back then. I'm not some dumbass I hate myself because I enjoy eating pussy lesbian. That crap pisses me off. Lost & Delirious was the stupidest fucking movie of all time because Piper Perabo goes and flings herself off a goddamn school roof and they shoot it all fucking poetic and watch the hawk or whatever the fuck bird it is fly off while she goes splat because her girlfriend broke up with her and pretended to be straight and humped some rich frat guy.

I hate that stuff. Why must gay + depressed = suicidal? I'm depressed but I don't want to kill myself. I mean, killing yourself is way too much work for me. I can't remember why I jumped off the roof when I was twelve. I just wanted to do it. Very odd. But whatever. I did stupid stuff as a kid and I continue to do it as a semi-adult.

Ever since I was sixteen I've listened to the usual suspects when I feel like this. You know, Morrissey, Tori Amos, Patsy Cline, Joy Division, and my personal favorite Depeche Mode. Otherwise known as Depressed Mode during these times because... well, fucking duh. I'm depressed and it's a fucking modus operandi to play their music. Or something like that. Man that was stupid yet smart description of this shit. Which is totally me, right?

Stupid that makes itself sound smart. Ohhh, master of bullshit. This is how I get women. Anyway, here's a song from my current nonstop playlist of unknown caused depression.

A Pain That I'm Used To by Depeche Mode:

http://s57.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=33HDT9L3Z78K82EW66GX6O5K29

Comments

[liberalista.livejournal.com]

i'd say go listen to who the fuck is alice, but i think that's only a temporary fix right now. i always find it best to just wallow in it for a few days until it passes. your choice of depeche seems good to do that with. the smiths or dashboard confessional usually work for me as well. dude, i hate lost and delirious (yet i unexplainably own it, strange) and stupid tori, and "mouse", and that random gardner...wtf was that anyway. i think you should go find a dum dum to suck on...mystery flavor is dicey at best, i always like the less risky cream soda, or the new blue raspberry (because i still get some childish enjoyment from turning my tongue blue). anyway, feel better. and if u dont, im willing to take u to a tegan & sara concert so we can drop acid and dance on stage with them...

[dreiser.livejournal.com]

No more drugs for me. Except the kind I'm prescribed to take by my doctor and yelled to take by my family, gf, and friends. lol. But I would love to see another Tegan and Sara concert. Ahhh, such fun. Oh! I have this thing with buying any drink that's blue just because it's blue. Whether it's alcoholic or whatever. I mean, blue drinks, right? You have to drink that shit! lol. Problem is? Most blue drinks don't taste good.

Such a let down.

[tocopherol.livejournal.com]

Loving the blue drinks rant.
Made me smile.

Smile!

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not particularly good at cheering people up, so here's a picture of cute Leisha. I like her in this photo, because I've a thing for girls with short hair. :OP

(http://photobucket.com)

I find that looking at photos of the celebrities I like has therapeutic qualities. Just my stalker tendencies. (photo's a little grainy, but she's still cute)

Kel - still no LJ

P/s: Sorry, been trying to look at your fic and identify the parts I found which were a little too long, but I had been busy with my work. Will do it soon! -Determined-