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I'm working retail right now because I need money and God hates me. Well, I'm not sure that God hates me. But I do think that theory holds some sort of merit because of what went on today. I've already said in here that I'm currently working at Things Remembered and they're basically a store that does personalized gifts. Meaning? They fucking engrave shit and are super duper holy shit why are you so fucking friendly type of sales people.
I've never worked for a company this weirdly intensive in how they train their people and I suppose it's a good thing but I honestly am so goddamn tired of retail that instead of making me really like the experience I'm just longing for the days of Suncoast, Gamestop, or even goddamn Hello Kitty where I was surrounded by people who had a certain level of cynicism and normalcy to their everyday routine instead of people who try to make everything super fucking happy and perky and blerh blah blooh. Today we had our metro meeting which is basically all the managers in our region, twenty or so, together in a huge ass ballroom in the Crowne Plaza hotel talking about fucking sales initiatives and other stuff. Which honestly wasn't that bad. I was actually pretty happy with where they placed me and my manager because we were with the West County management team and they're hilarious.
Odd to discover during chit chat time on our company paid lunch at Friday's that both the ASM and MIT at West County used to actively attend Roller Derby bouts and skated in Roller Derby during the days of yore that are the 1960 leagues. I got them to promise to go to some bouts with me so that was cool. What sucked is the meeting focused for at least three fucking hours of time on two of the most loathed exercises in retail training. What's that? Fucking role playing and fucking cheerleading. Yeah, role playing and cheerleading. Neither of which are fun in that whole kinky sex games type of way. It's just fucking embarrassing and juvenile and retarded and demeaning and why the fuck do I need to fucking play pretend? I've worked retail since I was 14! I don't need to fucking play like I'm a goddamn retail worker and you're my picky ass bitchy customer! That's my sad ass reality!
Try telling that to your RSM or Vice President of Operations though. No worries, I didn't attempt it. Instead I held in my annoyance and while I had to do fucking matching lame ass hand motion dance routine type motions as I fucking had to shout for no less than six times, "No negative transactions, plus one!" And oh, let me not forget that at the end of this glorious metro meeting we had a fucking lame ass hand motion shout off between all the tables of managers and the group that won got fucking Beanie Baby stuffed tigers.
Suck ass, dude. Seriously. So fucking suck ass.
Don't ask me to explain what that chant means. I've been trying to repress it since the meeting got out at 5 pm. While I was doing the fucking shouting hand motion contest I kept repeating in my head, "You have interviews on Thursday and Friday at 10 am. You WILL get one of those jobs and put in your two weeks notice then you will NEVER have to do this shit ever again because administrative jobs don't involve fucking cheers."
I think that mantra kept me from going totally insane during the meeting. By the time I got out I was just totally exasperated and feeling just a weird combination of amusement and frustration with how goddamn retarded everything was and the fact that the reason I felt that way was I just didn't want to be there. Although, to be honest, I love my manager and the staff at the store and I do feel bad that if I get one of the many jobs I've been applying for I'll be leaving them after one month of employment and right before their super busy wedding season. But honestly? It's work and it's my career and it's my life and it's my goddamn right to be fucking selfish. lol. But I still feel bad since they're super nice people. Almost too nice for me. It's rather Stepford.
When I got out of the meeting the first thing I did was call Rachel in LA who laughed her ass off at the idea of me doing a fucking cheerleading hand motion type thing and then Pat who didn't really mock me at all. Which is why I love him. lol. The lack of mockery when I honestly deserve it. Michi was still in class so I focused on my driving back to the house and randomly put in a mix cd without really knowing what songs I had on it.
Music being the fucking healing drug for the lame ass nerd that I am I felt better in minutes because of the first song on the cd was the super mellow Say It Will by AnnMarie Montade. It's a wonderful song focused on the doubts and insecurities we have and how we just need someone that will reassure us that everything will be okay. You know, what my so fucking cool gf did for me on my birthday and such. I totally love this song and I see it fitting Helacious in S4 of The L Word should they hook up. Anyway! That song totally had me in a great mood and then the cd keeps going and I get even more amused because the following songs are just so freakishly different from each other and shows the whacked out way my head works in terms of musical tastes. I figured I would share the five songs that changed my grumpy yet amused mood into just fucking amused.
Oh yeah! As someone who owns Wonder Woman Seasons 1-3 on dvd and thinks Lynda Carter is still fucking hot and has way too many Wondey action figures to count I totally endorse the second song #1 Da Woman by Tricky as the first song to download. It's possibly one of the happiest and most fun songs in creation. Especially if you're a sad fangirl like me who loves Wonder Woman and her super groovy tv theme song. Yes, yes, I have it as a cell phone ringtone as well. The song and the theme. Hey, I admitted I was a sad fangirl!
What else? Boom! I Fucked Your Boyfriend by Salt N Pepa I've already linked before but I always feel compelled to share it over and over because it's the most gloriously bitchy and dirty song. Old school pre-Shoop Salt N Pepa were just hilariously crude and it makes me giggle to play their old stuff for people who didn't know they had such horrible potty mouths before they got all MTV mainstreamed.
Mambo Italiano (Remix) by Rosemary Clooney is great for dancing to. Of course, mambo is preferred but I guess that's not necessary. I don't know how to mambo and I danced to this song. lol. It's a seriously great remix and way fun when played in the clubs. The last song isn't really happy I guess but something about the way Judas Priest plays Paint It Black just makes me always sing along to the song. Which is sort of a happy activity, you know?
Whatever. I'm cracked out right now and still traumatized from having to do a fucking cheer and weird ass hand motion organized dance routine. Man, retail management seriously sucks. They motivate in such lame ass ways. But at least my friends are amused by my fucking travesty of suck job activities.
Say It Will by AnnMarie Montade:
http://s45.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=3JAQR4H9E2NBZ0MA2E6WOZ5BY
#1 Da Woman by Tricky:
http://s45.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0S9EUKP9I030N02IMLWJFD9XBU
Mambo Italiano (Remix) by Rosemary Clooney:
http://s45.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1CKGPN59XAB0Q3KEGDD0KJ0DQF
Boom! I Fucked Your Boyfriend by Salt N Pepa:
http://s45.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1OEVGBY8QKGTU042AGGFS6WDPX
Paint It Black by Judas Priest:
http://s45.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2CHROG0BWI97J1EHEIDBZ5D1QU
I've never worked for a company this weirdly intensive in how they train their people and I suppose it's a good thing but I honestly am so goddamn tired of retail that instead of making me really like the experience I'm just longing for the days of Suncoast, Gamestop, or even goddamn Hello Kitty where I was surrounded by people who had a certain level of cynicism and normalcy to their everyday routine instead of people who try to make everything super fucking happy and perky and blerh blah blooh. Today we had our metro meeting which is basically all the managers in our region, twenty or so, together in a huge ass ballroom in the Crowne Plaza hotel talking about fucking sales initiatives and other stuff. Which honestly wasn't that bad. I was actually pretty happy with where they placed me and my manager because we were with the West County management team and they're hilarious.
Odd to discover during chit chat time on our company paid lunch at Friday's that both the ASM and MIT at West County used to actively attend Roller Derby bouts and skated in Roller Derby during the days of yore that are the 1960 leagues. I got them to promise to go to some bouts with me so that was cool. What sucked is the meeting focused for at least three fucking hours of time on two of the most loathed exercises in retail training. What's that? Fucking role playing and fucking cheerleading. Yeah, role playing and cheerleading. Neither of which are fun in that whole kinky sex games type of way. It's just fucking embarrassing and juvenile and retarded and demeaning and why the fuck do I need to fucking play pretend? I've worked retail since I was 14! I don't need to fucking play like I'm a goddamn retail worker and you're my picky ass bitchy customer! That's my sad ass reality!
Try telling that to your RSM or Vice President of Operations though. No worries, I didn't attempt it. Instead I held in my annoyance and while I had to do fucking matching lame ass hand motion dance routine type motions as I fucking had to shout for no less than six times, "No negative transactions, plus one!" And oh, let me not forget that at the end of this glorious metro meeting we had a fucking lame ass hand motion shout off between all the tables of managers and the group that won got fucking Beanie Baby stuffed tigers.
Suck ass, dude. Seriously. So fucking suck ass.
Don't ask me to explain what that chant means. I've been trying to repress it since the meeting got out at 5 pm. While I was doing the fucking shouting hand motion contest I kept repeating in my head, "You have interviews on Thursday and Friday at 10 am. You WILL get one of those jobs and put in your two weeks notice then you will NEVER have to do this shit ever again because administrative jobs don't involve fucking cheers."
I think that mantra kept me from going totally insane during the meeting. By the time I got out I was just totally exasperated and feeling just a weird combination of amusement and frustration with how goddamn retarded everything was and the fact that the reason I felt that way was I just didn't want to be there. Although, to be honest, I love my manager and the staff at the store and I do feel bad that if I get one of the many jobs I've been applying for I'll be leaving them after one month of employment and right before their super busy wedding season. But honestly? It's work and it's my career and it's my life and it's my goddamn right to be fucking selfish. lol. But I still feel bad since they're super nice people. Almost too nice for me. It's rather Stepford.
When I got out of the meeting the first thing I did was call Rachel in LA who laughed her ass off at the idea of me doing a fucking cheerleading hand motion type thing and then Pat who didn't really mock me at all. Which is why I love him. lol. The lack of mockery when I honestly deserve it. Michi was still in class so I focused on my driving back to the house and randomly put in a mix cd without really knowing what songs I had on it.
Music being the fucking healing drug for the lame ass nerd that I am I felt better in minutes because of the first song on the cd was the super mellow Say It Will by AnnMarie Montade. It's a wonderful song focused on the doubts and insecurities we have and how we just need someone that will reassure us that everything will be okay. You know, what my so fucking cool gf did for me on my birthday and such. I totally love this song and I see it fitting Helacious in S4 of The L Word should they hook up. Anyway! That song totally had me in a great mood and then the cd keeps going and I get even more amused because the following songs are just so freakishly different from each other and shows the whacked out way my head works in terms of musical tastes. I figured I would share the five songs that changed my grumpy yet amused mood into just fucking amused.
Oh yeah! As someone who owns Wonder Woman Seasons 1-3 on dvd and thinks Lynda Carter is still fucking hot and has way too many Wondey action figures to count I totally endorse the second song #1 Da Woman by Tricky as the first song to download. It's possibly one of the happiest and most fun songs in creation. Especially if you're a sad fangirl like me who loves Wonder Woman and her super groovy tv theme song. Yes, yes, I have it as a cell phone ringtone as well. The song and the theme. Hey, I admitted I was a sad fangirl!
What else? Boom! I Fucked Your Boyfriend by Salt N Pepa I've already linked before but I always feel compelled to share it over and over because it's the most gloriously bitchy and dirty song. Old school pre-Shoop Salt N Pepa were just hilariously crude and it makes me giggle to play their old stuff for people who didn't know they had such horrible potty mouths before they got all MTV mainstreamed.
Mambo Italiano (Remix) by Rosemary Clooney is great for dancing to. Of course, mambo is preferred but I guess that's not necessary. I don't know how to mambo and I danced to this song. lol. It's a seriously great remix and way fun when played in the clubs. The last song isn't really happy I guess but something about the way Judas Priest plays Paint It Black just makes me always sing along to the song. Which is sort of a happy activity, you know?
Whatever. I'm cracked out right now and still traumatized from having to do a fucking cheer and weird ass hand motion organized dance routine. Man, retail management seriously sucks. They motivate in such lame ass ways. But at least my friends are amused by my fucking travesty of suck job activities.
Say It Will by AnnMarie Montade:
http://s45.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=3JAQR4H9E2NBZ0MA2E6WOZ5BY
#1 Da Woman by Tricky:
http://s45.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0S9EUKP9I030N02IMLWJFD9XBU
Mambo Italiano (Remix) by Rosemary Clooney:
http://s45.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1CKGPN59XAB0Q3KEGDD0KJ0DQF
Boom! I Fucked Your Boyfriend by Salt N Pepa:
http://s45.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1OEVGBY8QKGTU042AGGFS6WDPX
Paint It Black by Judas Priest:
http://s45.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2CHROG0BWI97J1EHEIDBZ5D1QU
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