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I can't properly explain why I find the following movie so hilarious. Is it because it stars Mariel Hemingway from Personal Best fame as a member of the secret service? Perhaps it's the ultra cheesy and bickering lines that are exchanged by the protagonist and her enemies? Or maybe it's the plot for the movie...
When the Vice President's plane goes down near a remote pacific island, he is kidnapped by rebel forces and held for ransom. It is up to his female secret service agent and a press secretary to infiltrate the camp and save him.
My god, can lesbian movies get any stupider? I doubt it but look at it yourself and decide.
http://www.inherlineoffire.com
And just for the hell of it here's yet another fanfic with truly horrible love scenes. One that features an obvious Mary Sue self insert character and Link from The Legend of Zelda. Yeah, the Nintendo game.
WARNING!
The following excerpt from a fanfic has some fairly graphic but fucking atrociously written sex scenes, so prepare yourself and don't fucking blame me if you get disgusted while reading. It's also sort of long simply because there truly is so much bad in it that I couldn't bring myself to leave any of it out.
Then I felt him getting aroused, felt how much he wanted it. Strong intense feelings raced threw my body, raced threw my bones. My body shook as sweat begun to form. And then I felt myself getting hotter, felt myself wanting him more and more. I wanted him, needed him. I wanted to feel him inside me. My body quivered and shook as his hand slowly went down, first to my thighs, then between my legs. Then I cried out in ecstasy as his fingers worked against my clitoris. It felt soo good. Felt soo intense. I arced my back and cried out in loud animal- like cries as his fingers reached the entrance and slid deep inside...."Oh....my Goddesses....Link..more baby.....LINK!" I screamed in pure ecstasy as his gentle steady thrusts made my legs quake.
Then I felt myself starting to climax as his fingers thrust deeper upping the movements. My body shuddered from the immense feelings that raged threw it. I grabbed onto the ground my nails digging into the dirt as Link's fingers made my body scream in eternal bliss. I cried out as the surges came in raging pulses, and my body withered under his touch. I begun to twist violently as the surges of pure ecstasy came in closer beats. Then when Link hit the right spot I let out a loud cat like cry...."LINK!" I screamed as I reached my peak and gushed down his hand...........panting I got up and looked at him, his lips parted to say something but I placed a finger on them. I shook my finger then moved it away as he gently laid me down.
Then he climbed on top of me and I felt his member at my entrance . Slowly he penetrated my body and cries of eternal bliss escaped passed my lips. As he moved inside me, my hips bucked up against his as we begun to find a rhythm. Slowly at first, then Link began to thrust deeper upping the movements. As we made hot love, I felt as if our bodies merged. Felt our hearts beating in unison. Our minds became one, and our souls connected. I heard his every thought, thoughts of love and passion. And I knew how I was making him feel. As he penetrated deeper inside me, it felt like nothing I had ever felt before. Then I started to call out his name in between cries of passion, and his breathing became faster. I felt his hot breath on my neck as he worked his lips there. With each thrust, strong pulses of pure ecstasy raced threw me. I bucked up against him, forcing him deeper inside me.
Our hips swiveled in unison as our bodies moved against each other. My body started convulsing as I felt myself starting to climax. Then his thrusts came in faster beats as he started to climax. Our cries filled the air as we both came to our peaks. Then he delivered the final thrust as he started to release a warmth inside me. He let out a loud animal like cry as he delivered the hot liquid deep down inside my inner sanctum. Then a strong feeling surged through my body, a feeling so intense that I screamed out Link's name as I peaked then had huge orgasm. It felt soo good that I never wanted it to end. The feeling was so intense, we wanted to keep going, wanted to keep feeling the intensity of our lovemaking.
Exhausted, I screamed as I tried to find the strength to go on. I clawed into Link's back as I bucked against him. Sweat rolled down our bodies as we fought to climax a second time. I ran my now sweaty hands up and down his back digging my nails into his skin as I pushed up against him. Link too fought to reach a second peak. Fighting with what strength he had left, he thrust himself deeper inside my tired sweaty body, pushing to climax a second time. He screamed, cursed to find the strength as his thrusts came in faster beats. His hands grabbed down on my sides, as he tried to steady himself. Then I felt the strength leaving my body. Fighting for the strength, I screamed out in loud cat cries as I turned tigress. I forced my trembling body up against his. Desperately trying to reach a second peak. I clawed deeper into his back as I cried out loudly like a tiger in heat. My back arced as I pushed in unison with his thrusts.
Then I felt myself starting to climax again. I cried out to Link, grunting like a female tiger to urge him on. He returned my calls as cat like sounds escaped passed his lips. Then I felt him beginning to climax again. We thrust against each other, our bodies trembling while crying like tigers mating as we came to a full climax and exploded together one last time.
I seriously think this girl has a weird beastiality tiger fetish.
When the Vice President's plane goes down near a remote pacific island, he is kidnapped by rebel forces and held for ransom. It is up to his female secret service agent and a press secretary to infiltrate the camp and save him.
My god, can lesbian movies get any stupider? I doubt it but look at it yourself and decide.
http://www.inherlineoffire.com
And just for the hell of it here's yet another fanfic with truly horrible love scenes. One that features an obvious Mary Sue self insert character and Link from The Legend of Zelda. Yeah, the Nintendo game.
WARNING!
The following excerpt from a fanfic has some fairly graphic but fucking atrociously written sex scenes, so prepare yourself and don't fucking blame me if you get disgusted while reading. It's also sort of long simply because there truly is so much bad in it that I couldn't bring myself to leave any of it out.
Then I felt him getting aroused, felt how much he wanted it. Strong intense feelings raced threw my body, raced threw my bones. My body shook as sweat begun to form. And then I felt myself getting hotter, felt myself wanting him more and more. I wanted him, needed him. I wanted to feel him inside me. My body quivered and shook as his hand slowly went down, first to my thighs, then between my legs. Then I cried out in ecstasy as his fingers worked against my clitoris. It felt soo good. Felt soo intense. I arced my back and cried out in loud animal- like cries as his fingers reached the entrance and slid deep inside...."Oh....my Goddesses....Link..more baby.....LINK!" I screamed in pure ecstasy as his gentle steady thrusts made my legs quake.
Then I felt myself starting to climax as his fingers thrust deeper upping the movements. My body shuddered from the immense feelings that raged threw it. I grabbed onto the ground my nails digging into the dirt as Link's fingers made my body scream in eternal bliss. I cried out as the surges came in raging pulses, and my body withered under his touch. I begun to twist violently as the surges of pure ecstasy came in closer beats. Then when Link hit the right spot I let out a loud cat like cry...."LINK!" I screamed as I reached my peak and gushed down his hand...........panting I got up and looked at him, his lips parted to say something but I placed a finger on them. I shook my finger then moved it away as he gently laid me down.
Then he climbed on top of me and I felt his member at my entrance . Slowly he penetrated my body and cries of eternal bliss escaped passed my lips. As he moved inside me, my hips bucked up against his as we begun to find a rhythm. Slowly at first, then Link began to thrust deeper upping the movements. As we made hot love, I felt as if our bodies merged. Felt our hearts beating in unison. Our minds became one, and our souls connected. I heard his every thought, thoughts of love and passion. And I knew how I was making him feel. As he penetrated deeper inside me, it felt like nothing I had ever felt before. Then I started to call out his name in between cries of passion, and his breathing became faster. I felt his hot breath on my neck as he worked his lips there. With each thrust, strong pulses of pure ecstasy raced threw me. I bucked up against him, forcing him deeper inside me.
Our hips swiveled in unison as our bodies moved against each other. My body started convulsing as I felt myself starting to climax. Then his thrusts came in faster beats as he started to climax. Our cries filled the air as we both came to our peaks. Then he delivered the final thrust as he started to release a warmth inside me. He let out a loud animal like cry as he delivered the hot liquid deep down inside my inner sanctum. Then a strong feeling surged through my body, a feeling so intense that I screamed out Link's name as I peaked then had huge orgasm. It felt soo good that I never wanted it to end. The feeling was so intense, we wanted to keep going, wanted to keep feeling the intensity of our lovemaking.
Exhausted, I screamed as I tried to find the strength to go on. I clawed into Link's back as I bucked against him. Sweat rolled down our bodies as we fought to climax a second time. I ran my now sweaty hands up and down his back digging my nails into his skin as I pushed up against him. Link too fought to reach a second peak. Fighting with what strength he had left, he thrust himself deeper inside my tired sweaty body, pushing to climax a second time. He screamed, cursed to find the strength as his thrusts came in faster beats. His hands grabbed down on my sides, as he tried to steady himself. Then I felt the strength leaving my body. Fighting for the strength, I screamed out in loud cat cries as I turned tigress. I forced my trembling body up against his. Desperately trying to reach a second peak. I clawed deeper into his back as I cried out loudly like a tiger in heat. My back arced as I pushed in unison with his thrusts.
Then I felt myself starting to climax again. I cried out to Link, grunting like a female tiger to urge him on. He returned my calls as cat like sounds escaped passed his lips. Then I felt him beginning to climax again. We thrust against each other, our bodies trembling while crying like tigers mating as we came to a full climax and exploded together one last time.
I seriously think this girl has a weird beastiality tiger fetish.
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...I think I need to rewatch all my AbFab very soon. It's been a while.