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I've always thought that no matter what, each day has some truly great entertaining moments and it's really a matter of just recognizing them. Seeing the truly fucked up funny shit is what makes life great to me. Honestly, sad as that is, it's how I see things. It's also why I have this tendency to do stuff because I think it would make a great story and/or experience to talk about. lol. Anyway! To go further on the theory that each day has great funny moments, I also think that each day has some fucking great entertaining quotes from these moments and here are just a few of those quotes from the funny/entertaining moments I had today.
ENTERTAINMENT: What I watched
"I was only supposed to be on every other Tuesday." Susan Lucci; Acceptance speech for 1999 Emmy's where she finally won for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama after 19 consecutive nominations. She's speaking about when she was originally offered the part of Erica Kane in 1970 and wasn't intended to have quite so much airtime.
"I'm not wearing pants and the lesbians are waiting!" Kathy Griffin; Strong Black Woman. Regaling in her brilliant fashion an explanation to the oblivious front desk worker at her fancy hotel on precisely why she needs a key right away so she can get back into her suite.
"Don't punch a total stranger. Introduce yourselves." Mrs. Garrett; Facts of Life. From the fabulous episode, The New Girl, where Jo makes her super dykey first appearance. This line is spoken to Jo about Blair and their instantly contentious yet fucking subtexty as all hell love/hate relationship.
WORK: What I did
"Jeff, I just spent ten minutes listening to your client talk about vast statewide radar gun conspiracies, microwave waves, and how popped popcorn is never actually popped. You can never go to lunch again." Heather; Office Manager. She got stuck on the phone with one of the endless line of truly hilarious but crazed clients for Jeff who is our lawyer for the somewhat insane St. Louis Municipal Courts.
"Neosperm, that's what I called it! I asked him for Neosperm three times! I was so embarrassed, Nicole. I never went back to that Walgreen's again." D; Office Mother. Telling me a random story about shopping for Neosporin when she first moved to Missouri from New York.
"She wanted a candy bar, which are unhealthy for her teeth and slowly rot them out with the seeping sugar, but she only had one dollar and the candy bar required at least four and she looked at me with those big eyes, you know how little girls can get, it's upsetting honestly. So I set up a loan repayment plan. It's good. She'll learn about how to manage her money that way." Jason; Lawyer for Illinois Courts. Explaining to the office the situation which began the idea for the current money management classes for his four year old daughter.
"Bigggggggggg buckin... geneticallllllllly... altered chickennnnnnnnnnn." Jeff; Lawyer for the St. Louis Municipal Courts. Singing his Kentucky Fried Chicken appreciation song as he walks in the door with his lunch. On my first day of work I told him about how KFC genetically alters their chicken to make their breasts plumper.
FRIENDS: What I loved
"He's trying to use his hidden and dangerous psychic powers to raise an army of ceramic animals to do his bidding. It's the perfect plan for world conquest. They look innocent but deep down everyone knows they're evil. You have a built in fear factor." Michi; Super cute girlfriend. Whispering in my ear at the Farmer's Market when Vlad freezes in his path and stares at the huge line of ceramic animal lawn ornaments for five minutes and refuses to budge, he's staring at them so intently.
"Nic... call me. I'm bored and you always have something interestingly inane to say." Pip; Not so super cute ex-girlfriend and friend. Demanding that I call and entertain her.
"American Idol is nothing more than Eurovision's sad inbred cousin." Rachel; Rare and worldly ex-girlfriend who currently resides in London. Discussing her opinion on the status of American Idol vs. Eurovision debate.
"Why must everyone hate the angry lesbian?" Stacey; Pip's girlfriend and my former roommate. Musing about why Tiffani on Top Chef seems to inspire so much hatred from her fellow competitors. Everyone I know is a Tiffani fan, myself included, so fucking Dave needs to shut his bitch ass up already about her. And she didn't turn off any fucking ovens. You people are lame on the Bravo boards for suggesting that.
Amusing? Not? Whatever. I had fun writing them so it's not my issue if you didn't have fun reading them. Heh. I wonder why I like Tiffani so? Angry lesbian, hello! But she seriously does rock, I want her to win.
"I was only supposed to be on every other Tuesday." Susan Lucci; Acceptance speech for 1999 Emmy's where she finally won for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama after 19 consecutive nominations. She's speaking about when she was originally offered the part of Erica Kane in 1970 and wasn't intended to have quite so much airtime.
"I'm not wearing pants and the lesbians are waiting!" Kathy Griffin; Strong Black Woman. Regaling in her brilliant fashion an explanation to the oblivious front desk worker at her fancy hotel on precisely why she needs a key right away so she can get back into her suite.
"Don't punch a total stranger. Introduce yourselves." Mrs. Garrett; Facts of Life. From the fabulous episode, The New Girl, where Jo makes her super dykey first appearance. This line is spoken to Jo about Blair and their instantly contentious yet fucking subtexty as all hell love/hate relationship.
"Jeff, I just spent ten minutes listening to your client talk about vast statewide radar gun conspiracies, microwave waves, and how popped popcorn is never actually popped. You can never go to lunch again." Heather; Office Manager. She got stuck on the phone with one of the endless line of truly hilarious but crazed clients for Jeff who is our lawyer for the somewhat insane St. Louis Municipal Courts.
"Neosperm, that's what I called it! I asked him for Neosperm three times! I was so embarrassed, Nicole. I never went back to that Walgreen's again." D; Office Mother. Telling me a random story about shopping for Neosporin when she first moved to Missouri from New York.
"She wanted a candy bar, which are unhealthy for her teeth and slowly rot them out with the seeping sugar, but she only had one dollar and the candy bar required at least four and she looked at me with those big eyes, you know how little girls can get, it's upsetting honestly. So I set up a loan repayment plan. It's good. She'll learn about how to manage her money that way." Jason; Lawyer for Illinois Courts. Explaining to the office the situation which began the idea for the current money management classes for his four year old daughter.
"Bigggggggggg buckin... geneticallllllllly... altered chickennnnnnnnnnn." Jeff; Lawyer for the St. Louis Municipal Courts. Singing his Kentucky Fried Chicken appreciation song as he walks in the door with his lunch. On my first day of work I told him about how KFC genetically alters their chicken to make their breasts plumper.
"He's trying to use his hidden and dangerous psychic powers to raise an army of ceramic animals to do his bidding. It's the perfect plan for world conquest. They look innocent but deep down everyone knows they're evil. You have a built in fear factor." Michi; Super cute girlfriend. Whispering in my ear at the Farmer's Market when Vlad freezes in his path and stares at the huge line of ceramic animal lawn ornaments for five minutes and refuses to budge, he's staring at them so intently.
"Nic... call me. I'm bored and you always have something interestingly inane to say." Pip; Not so super cute ex-girlfriend and friend. Demanding that I call and entertain her.
"American Idol is nothing more than Eurovision's sad inbred cousin." Rachel; Rare and worldly ex-girlfriend who currently resides in London. Discussing her opinion on the status of American Idol vs. Eurovision debate.
"Why must everyone hate the angry lesbian?" Stacey; Pip's girlfriend and my former roommate. Musing about why Tiffani on Top Chef seems to inspire so much hatred from her fellow competitors. Everyone I know is a Tiffani fan, myself included, so fucking Dave needs to shut his bitch ass up already about her. And she didn't turn off any fucking ovens. You people are lame on the Bravo boards for suggesting that.
Amusing? Not? Whatever. I had fun writing them so it's not my issue if you didn't have fun reading them. Heh. I wonder why I like Tiffani so? Angry lesbian, hello! But she seriously does rock, I want her to win.
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And I would love to work at your firm, the Neosperm is truly hilarious. And I can totally understand why she would never ever go back to that place. Ever.
and btw, Eurovision contest coming up soon, I can't wait to vote though I haven't decided yet if I will go for the one who is too brave/dumb to care and brings on the funniest and most entertaining show, or for the song that I like best.
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Kate sometimes reminds me of an overbaked Danish.
and you avatar is awesome :)
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I love your X-Men icons! All of them!
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I am almost as excited about seeing Famke's long hair in action as I am about seeing the actual movie. Is that very sad?
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Or cool? We can be cool together!
I feel sorry for all the people who do not appreciate the awesomeness that will be X-Men 3 and Jean's new hairstyle. They are surely the sad ones. My sympathy also goes out to those poor souls who appreciate Storm's new hair. I also have terrible eyesight, but at least I wear contacts and glasses to make up for it.
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