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This isn't a movie meant for X-Men comic book fans. In fact, this isn't a movie meant for people who have a remote knowledge and fondness for the comic book storylines. Those who know the comic books will most likely become tormented upon viewing it. But this isn't because the movie is truly so fucking horrible but instead because they can see the hints of greatness slip into the dreary ass world of constant special effects and shit blowing up. This movie wasn't part of the same series as the first two but instead was part of the Kraft macaroni and cheesy goodness that is fucking comic book drama on overdrive. So much that it hurts.
Now don't get me wrong, I love the comics but the thing that made the first two X-Men movies so damn good, to me, was the fact they were in their own universe. Bryan Singer brought a realism to the world of mutants that allowed people who had no idea about the comics to slip into this mindset where they could actually exist. He made the situation real. Most importantly, he made the CHARACTERS real. You cared about what happened to them because they seemed as if they could exist in the house right next door.
The realism was gone in X3. This was basically comic books come to life and comic books come directly to life make for crappy movies. Mostly because comics, particularly those starring superheroes, have this ingrained over the top quality to the emotions and situations that makes most people roll their eyes. Again, I reiterate I love comic books but dude, it's one thing for me to read and see this shit on pieces of paper and another to watch it on a screen. Seeing people on a screen is more involved, they're living and breathing and they're fucking present. It's an instant connection if you can do it right.
Ratner got it so fucking wrong. I think to make this review more concise I'll just go into the three major issues I had with the film.
1. The lack of emotional realism and character study.
2. The confused and heavy handed storytelling.
3. The portrayal of mindless violence without properly showing the effect.
I've already touched lightly on my issue with the emotional realism and the character study but I'll try to go a little further and explain why I think this is so fucking crucial in a comic book movie. Or any movie that's based in the fantastic and extraordinary. I mean, it's logic. You're taking people into this world that is a huge suspension of reality and in order to make the forget that fucking crazy environment you have to give them something relatable and real they can cling to like a buoy, right? In the first two X-Men it was the characters and their relationships.
The cast of the X1/X2 wasn't exactly small but it remained focused. Each character chosen to have attention in the storyline, for the most part, served a definite purpose and helped to reveal the humanity in those considered to be outcasts in society. X1 introduced us to the characters, X2 expanded on what we had learned while adding new information, but X3 gave us a small trickle of knowledge on these people we've come to care about. For an example lets take the journey of Rogue as explored through all three movies.
X1: Rogue was the voice of quiet self hatred. There was no one who could despise her being a mutant more than herself. We saw her struggle with her powers and witnessed a wonderful hint of peer acceptance in the developing relationship with Bobby. This is Rogue discovering her powers.
X2: While still terribly frightened of her powers and what they can do to other people she no longer has hesitation with others. Her wide smile on greeting Logan and her romance with Bobby has given her confidence in herself and her future. This is Rogue beginning to understand her powers.
X3: Upon hearing there is a cure for mutants Rogue has immediate interest and leaves the mansion to seek the cure. This is Rogue removing her powers.
All of these are simple storylines for Rogue but the difference is in the execution. X1 we saw Rogue's first kiss and her reaction to it, we saw her hitching for a ride with Wolverine, we saw her hesitation on arriving at the school, her easy belief that even other mutants wouldn't accept her, the shock that another mutant would use her so carelessly, then the horror on realizing her powers had saved her but perhaps killed her closest friend, and finally that she had perhaps found her place in the world within the walls of Xavier's mansion. X2 we saw Rogue struggling with her attraction to Bobby and fear of what her powers would do to him, developing a certain confidence in using her powers for a greater good when John was out of control, and being able to bring up the courage to fly the Blackbird for whatever unknown reason. X3 we saw Rogue jealous of Kitty with very little reason behind it, we saw her leave the mansion but not before speaking to Wolverine, we saw her in line for the cure, and we saw her after her powers were gone.
While anyone with a brain can decipher why Rogue would want her powers gone it would've been nice to actually see her struggle more in the third movie with this decision. There was nothing to really spur Rogue to stand in that line, no catalyst. The supposed triangle between Kitty, Rogue, and Bobby was nonexistent and despite Rogue's powers being just... really a deliciously angsty curse made for great writing there was nothing. It was Rogue deciding she wanted the cure and her going out and getting it. They didn't even have Bobby find in her in that line and give a great scene with Bobby saying he didn't want her to do it for him and her declaring it had nothing to do with him, this was about her. Her life, her powers, and her misery in dealing with them. Instead she shows up at the end of movie with it already done and we miss that wonderful scene and storyline in between. We see the start where she hears about the cure and then the end once she's received it. But where the fuck is the all important and storylicious middle? Fucking absent.
Rogue was just one of many casualties when it came to character storylines being missing. There simply were too many mutants in the movie and they didn't serve any purpose. When we had that wonderful intro with Warren clipping his wings off as a boy and then his reaction and escape to getting the cure I was certain he would play an integral part to the movie. Instead he shows up to prevent Storm from closing the school and flies in to rescue his not so evil father. I think the best way to explain my discontent with how the characters were dealt with is to simply say they weren't treated like people but more like pawns and plot devices. They were simply meant to serve singular and rather staid purposes without any depth to them.
Lets move onto the storytelling. There was too many diverting plotlines. Enough that it was impossible to have one cohesive storyline. What was this movie about? Jean turning into the Dark Phoenix? A cure for mutants leading to possible mutant eradication during a less stable Presidency? Wolverine being in love with Jean? Wolverine sneezing? Magneto suddenly turning into the psychotic Jerry Falwell of mutants?
MINI RANT: What the fuck happened to Magneto? He's always been my favorite bad guy because he's not really a bad guy. He's someone who exists in the grey realm and rocks so hardcore because of it. But in this movie he turned into the wanker the X-Men always portray him as. The fact that he left Mystique after she got shot for him? It's just so fucking lame. The lamest thing in the movie possibly. That just stunned me and struck me as so fucking out of character retarded. My brother hated his speech in the forest the most because it was insane and painfully obvious in the point they were trying to make with it. They utterly ruined Magneto as a cool "he's not so bad, I understand his motives" villain in this movie. Which is so horrible considering how charming he was in X2.
What was lacking was an enemy. They tried to make Magneto into the enemy but it didn't really work because it was empty and heavy handed. What would have been fascinating is if the government had been the ones making this cure as a backup for in case any future mutant crises were to occur and Magneto found out about it through Mystique and they attacked the government because of this. That would give them a viable reason for doing this and then show Hank's struggle with what he should do as a cabinet member who had no idea about this plan. Plus you have the X-Men who are taking up their usual role of protecting the humans, i.e. the government, from Magneto and his bad mutants when they don't really disagree with the principals behind their attack.
Instead we had a private pharmaceutical company apparently offering a cure to mutants for free, making Magneto freak out and attack people which then causes the government to put said cure in guns. The logic of the situation is just so lacking and frankly, I might just be a huge Magneto fangirl but none of his actions in this movie, save his interaction with Jean, made any fucking sense by way of how I see his character from reading the comics. Nothing really made sense. Lets use the whole example of using the cure as a weapon. When Magneto was being Jerry Falwell in the forest and giving his speech he rants about using the cure against mutants who disagree with their cause, freaking Logan out. At the end of the movie with very little hesitation, he stabs Magneto and takes his powers away himself. This is something the X-Men would never do. They're the good guys, the fucking preachy mother fuckers who take the all important right side of things. By having them take Magneto's powers away they're no better than he is because they're forcing this cure onto another mutant and taking away their right to choose. Where is the logic? Who is the good guy? Do you fucking care? I don't.
The other major problem with the storyline was that everything was spoken. There was no silent looks, uncomfortable interactions. Everything was said. Logan confessing his love to Jean at the end, though I worship this couple, was cheesy and just fucking lame. Perhaps if he had whispered it things would've been less crappy but it's just one example in an endless line. There was no true emotional resonance because everything the characters were supposed to be feeling was spoken out loud. It was as if the characters simply spoke their feelings instead of expressing them. Leaving almost all of the interactions empty and painful to watch. Particularly when they were supposed to be dramatic, romantic, or just moving.
My final issue with the movie was the fact that once Jean became Phoenix she dusted someone every five seconds. She didn't like their outfit? Dust. She didn't like their voice? Dust. She didn't like them inside of her head? Dust. Oh wait, that last one was valid. The point is while visually it was fucking cool to see Jean as Phoenix and to see the most bad ass storyline in X-Men history somewhat realized in live action film it was lacking because nothing was causing it. Dark Phoenix Saga, to me, was so compelling because you saw the struggle between Jean and the Phoenix and how ultimately this uncontrolled lust and love and all controlling hunger for life was too much for Jean to resist and she surrendered to the dark side of the mutant power force and became this crazy hot goddess who lived for obtaining pleasure, despite what it did to those around her. Dark Phoenix is the essence of selfish and horrible beauty. There was no visible struggle with Jean, just at the very beginning and then she became the stone faced and black eyed monster who dusted people when she felt like it and generally spent her time standing around looking hot in red leather.
What pains me is the fact that those seconds where she struggled with the power were so very good that I get depressed thinking about if the entire movie had been that way. There's also the fact that they had Phoenix kill both Scott and Professor X but didn't show Jean struggling with her guilt over that issue. Can you imagine how very good Famke could have acted that? We see her and Scott making love and the joy in being with him is just too much that she can't control the Phoenix who takes over and allows her powers to go wild and suddenly she's Jean again but now she's lying in the ashes of the man she loves. Instead we see unconscious Jean on the beach and his glasses floating by. It's fucking lame and it's such wasted potential. The same with the Professor. There was a bit more of a reaction and consequence to his death but ultimately it felt like Phoenix could go around killing whoever she wanted and it had no effect on the viewer. And I hate to say it, the fact that they had her doing the same thing over and over in terms of killing people made it almost fucking boring. Which is blasphemous. Dark Phoenix? Boring? Ye gods.
It didn't matter if she killed everyone in the movie because there was no attachment to these characters. Not how Ratner portrayed them. I dunno. I honestly do think Ratner is Joel Schumacher lite and the reason the movie was so horrible is pretty much his influence. It was too much of a comic book and Singer wouldn't have done that. I mean, fucking Singer made Superman cool and real!
SUPERMAN!
I'm stunned I'm looking forward to seeing Superman. Normally I find him such a fucking bore but Singer managed to make him interesting and real and that's what X3 lacks for me. Instead of these characters I've lamely come to know as friends I get these hyped up cardboard versions of them without any sort of depth to their personalities. It was like watching an army of mutant Tom Cruises or something.
What is the worst part is there were moments that were truly delicious and great such as the intro with young Jean and Warren, Jean struggling with Phoenix in the medlab, Kitty debating Professor in Mutant Ethics, and those few moments we got with super angsty then super happy Scott. Those moments told me that this movie could have been good. Even the handling of Jean as Phoenix at some points showed me they could have truly done a great job with the Dark Phoenix saga, particularly if Singer was at the helm. But we didn't get good and we didn't get great.
Instead what we got was mediocrity and the text book example of a bad comic book movie. Something which still makes this X-Men fangirl sniffle in sadness.
Now don't get me wrong, I love the comics but the thing that made the first two X-Men movies so damn good, to me, was the fact they were in their own universe. Bryan Singer brought a realism to the world of mutants that allowed people who had no idea about the comics to slip into this mindset where they could actually exist. He made the situation real. Most importantly, he made the CHARACTERS real. You cared about what happened to them because they seemed as if they could exist in the house right next door.
The realism was gone in X3. This was basically comic books come to life and comic books come directly to life make for crappy movies. Mostly because comics, particularly those starring superheroes, have this ingrained over the top quality to the emotions and situations that makes most people roll their eyes. Again, I reiterate I love comic books but dude, it's one thing for me to read and see this shit on pieces of paper and another to watch it on a screen. Seeing people on a screen is more involved, they're living and breathing and they're fucking present. It's an instant connection if you can do it right.
Ratner got it so fucking wrong. I think to make this review more concise I'll just go into the three major issues I had with the film.
1. The lack of emotional realism and character study.
2. The confused and heavy handed storytelling.
3. The portrayal of mindless violence without properly showing the effect.
I've already touched lightly on my issue with the emotional realism and the character study but I'll try to go a little further and explain why I think this is so fucking crucial in a comic book movie. Or any movie that's based in the fantastic and extraordinary. I mean, it's logic. You're taking people into this world that is a huge suspension of reality and in order to make the forget that fucking crazy environment you have to give them something relatable and real they can cling to like a buoy, right? In the first two X-Men it was the characters and their relationships.
The cast of the X1/X2 wasn't exactly small but it remained focused. Each character chosen to have attention in the storyline, for the most part, served a definite purpose and helped to reveal the humanity in those considered to be outcasts in society. X1 introduced us to the characters, X2 expanded on what we had learned while adding new information, but X3 gave us a small trickle of knowledge on these people we've come to care about. For an example lets take the journey of Rogue as explored through all three movies.
X1: Rogue was the voice of quiet self hatred. There was no one who could despise her being a mutant more than herself. We saw her struggle with her powers and witnessed a wonderful hint of peer acceptance in the developing relationship with Bobby. This is Rogue discovering her powers.
X2: While still terribly frightened of her powers and what they can do to other people she no longer has hesitation with others. Her wide smile on greeting Logan and her romance with Bobby has given her confidence in herself and her future. This is Rogue beginning to understand her powers.
X3: Upon hearing there is a cure for mutants Rogue has immediate interest and leaves the mansion to seek the cure. This is Rogue removing her powers.
All of these are simple storylines for Rogue but the difference is in the execution. X1 we saw Rogue's first kiss and her reaction to it, we saw her hitching for a ride with Wolverine, we saw her hesitation on arriving at the school, her easy belief that even other mutants wouldn't accept her, the shock that another mutant would use her so carelessly, then the horror on realizing her powers had saved her but perhaps killed her closest friend, and finally that she had perhaps found her place in the world within the walls of Xavier's mansion. X2 we saw Rogue struggling with her attraction to Bobby and fear of what her powers would do to him, developing a certain confidence in using her powers for a greater good when John was out of control, and being able to bring up the courage to fly the Blackbird for whatever unknown reason. X3 we saw Rogue jealous of Kitty with very little reason behind it, we saw her leave the mansion but not before speaking to Wolverine, we saw her in line for the cure, and we saw her after her powers were gone.
While anyone with a brain can decipher why Rogue would want her powers gone it would've been nice to actually see her struggle more in the third movie with this decision. There was nothing to really spur Rogue to stand in that line, no catalyst. The supposed triangle between Kitty, Rogue, and Bobby was nonexistent and despite Rogue's powers being just... really a deliciously angsty curse made for great writing there was nothing. It was Rogue deciding she wanted the cure and her going out and getting it. They didn't even have Bobby find in her in that line and give a great scene with Bobby saying he didn't want her to do it for him and her declaring it had nothing to do with him, this was about her. Her life, her powers, and her misery in dealing with them. Instead she shows up at the end of movie with it already done and we miss that wonderful scene and storyline in between. We see the start where she hears about the cure and then the end once she's received it. But where the fuck is the all important and storylicious middle? Fucking absent.
Rogue was just one of many casualties when it came to character storylines being missing. There simply were too many mutants in the movie and they didn't serve any purpose. When we had that wonderful intro with Warren clipping his wings off as a boy and then his reaction and escape to getting the cure I was certain he would play an integral part to the movie. Instead he shows up to prevent Storm from closing the school and flies in to rescue his not so evil father. I think the best way to explain my discontent with how the characters were dealt with is to simply say they weren't treated like people but more like pawns and plot devices. They were simply meant to serve singular and rather staid purposes without any depth to them.
Lets move onto the storytelling. There was too many diverting plotlines. Enough that it was impossible to have one cohesive storyline. What was this movie about? Jean turning into the Dark Phoenix? A cure for mutants leading to possible mutant eradication during a less stable Presidency? Wolverine being in love with Jean? Wolverine sneezing? Magneto suddenly turning into the psychotic Jerry Falwell of mutants?
MINI RANT: What the fuck happened to Magneto? He's always been my favorite bad guy because he's not really a bad guy. He's someone who exists in the grey realm and rocks so hardcore because of it. But in this movie he turned into the wanker the X-Men always portray him as. The fact that he left Mystique after she got shot for him? It's just so fucking lame. The lamest thing in the movie possibly. That just stunned me and struck me as so fucking out of character retarded. My brother hated his speech in the forest the most because it was insane and painfully obvious in the point they were trying to make with it. They utterly ruined Magneto as a cool "he's not so bad, I understand his motives" villain in this movie. Which is so horrible considering how charming he was in X2.
What was lacking was an enemy. They tried to make Magneto into the enemy but it didn't really work because it was empty and heavy handed. What would have been fascinating is if the government had been the ones making this cure as a backup for in case any future mutant crises were to occur and Magneto found out about it through Mystique and they attacked the government because of this. That would give them a viable reason for doing this and then show Hank's struggle with what he should do as a cabinet member who had no idea about this plan. Plus you have the X-Men who are taking up their usual role of protecting the humans, i.e. the government, from Magneto and his bad mutants when they don't really disagree with the principals behind their attack.
Instead we had a private pharmaceutical company apparently offering a cure to mutants for free, making Magneto freak out and attack people which then causes the government to put said cure in guns. The logic of the situation is just so lacking and frankly, I might just be a huge Magneto fangirl but none of his actions in this movie, save his interaction with Jean, made any fucking sense by way of how I see his character from reading the comics. Nothing really made sense. Lets use the whole example of using the cure as a weapon. When Magneto was being Jerry Falwell in the forest and giving his speech he rants about using the cure against mutants who disagree with their cause, freaking Logan out. At the end of the movie with very little hesitation, he stabs Magneto and takes his powers away himself. This is something the X-Men would never do. They're the good guys, the fucking preachy mother fuckers who take the all important right side of things. By having them take Magneto's powers away they're no better than he is because they're forcing this cure onto another mutant and taking away their right to choose. Where is the logic? Who is the good guy? Do you fucking care? I don't.
The other major problem with the storyline was that everything was spoken. There was no silent looks, uncomfortable interactions. Everything was said. Logan confessing his love to Jean at the end, though I worship this couple, was cheesy and just fucking lame. Perhaps if he had whispered it things would've been less crappy but it's just one example in an endless line. There was no true emotional resonance because everything the characters were supposed to be feeling was spoken out loud. It was as if the characters simply spoke their feelings instead of expressing them. Leaving almost all of the interactions empty and painful to watch. Particularly when they were supposed to be dramatic, romantic, or just moving.
My final issue with the movie was the fact that once Jean became Phoenix she dusted someone every five seconds. She didn't like their outfit? Dust. She didn't like their voice? Dust. She didn't like them inside of her head? Dust. Oh wait, that last one was valid. The point is while visually it was fucking cool to see Jean as Phoenix and to see the most bad ass storyline in X-Men history somewhat realized in live action film it was lacking because nothing was causing it. Dark Phoenix Saga, to me, was so compelling because you saw the struggle between Jean and the Phoenix and how ultimately this uncontrolled lust and love and all controlling hunger for life was too much for Jean to resist and she surrendered to the dark side of the mutant power force and became this crazy hot goddess who lived for obtaining pleasure, despite what it did to those around her. Dark Phoenix is the essence of selfish and horrible beauty. There was no visible struggle with Jean, just at the very beginning and then she became the stone faced and black eyed monster who dusted people when she felt like it and generally spent her time standing around looking hot in red leather.
What pains me is the fact that those seconds where she struggled with the power were so very good that I get depressed thinking about if the entire movie had been that way. There's also the fact that they had Phoenix kill both Scott and Professor X but didn't show Jean struggling with her guilt over that issue. Can you imagine how very good Famke could have acted that? We see her and Scott making love and the joy in being with him is just too much that she can't control the Phoenix who takes over and allows her powers to go wild and suddenly she's Jean again but now she's lying in the ashes of the man she loves. Instead we see unconscious Jean on the beach and his glasses floating by. It's fucking lame and it's such wasted potential. The same with the Professor. There was a bit more of a reaction and consequence to his death but ultimately it felt like Phoenix could go around killing whoever she wanted and it had no effect on the viewer. And I hate to say it, the fact that they had her doing the same thing over and over in terms of killing people made it almost fucking boring. Which is blasphemous. Dark Phoenix? Boring? Ye gods.
It didn't matter if she killed everyone in the movie because there was no attachment to these characters. Not how Ratner portrayed them. I dunno. I honestly do think Ratner is Joel Schumacher lite and the reason the movie was so horrible is pretty much his influence. It was too much of a comic book and Singer wouldn't have done that. I mean, fucking Singer made Superman cool and real!
SUPERMAN!
I'm stunned I'm looking forward to seeing Superman. Normally I find him such a fucking bore but Singer managed to make him interesting and real and that's what X3 lacks for me. Instead of these characters I've lamely come to know as friends I get these hyped up cardboard versions of them without any sort of depth to their personalities. It was like watching an army of mutant Tom Cruises or something.
What is the worst part is there were moments that were truly delicious and great such as the intro with young Jean and Warren, Jean struggling with Phoenix in the medlab, Kitty debating Professor in Mutant Ethics, and those few moments we got with super angsty then super happy Scott. Those moments told me that this movie could have been good. Even the handling of Jean as Phoenix at some points showed me they could have truly done a great job with the Dark Phoenix saga, particularly if Singer was at the helm. But we didn't get good and we didn't get great.
Instead what we got was mediocrity and the text book example of a bad comic book movie. Something which still makes this X-Men fangirl sniffle in sadness.
no subject
1: Yes.
2: Yes.
3: Yes.
:(
So sad I could cry. (and what the hell was Psylocke doing with the Morlocks? And why the hell was Psylocke even in the damn movie if she had only one line and no introduction? Who the hell was that purple haired girl who looked like a runaway punk from Hong Kong, anyway?)
So sad. ;_;