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I blame this all on Pat since he's the one who got me
so damn addicted to Maria-sama ga Miteru. This is the
prologue for the fic and the first part so there is
definitely more to come. Let me know what you think of
what I've got so far and if I should continue!
TITLE: Something To Believe
SERIES: Maria-sama Ga Miteru
AUTHOR: Dreiser
EMAIL: dreiser7@yahoo.com
YAHOO I.D.: dreiser7
MY WEBSITE: http://www.dreiser.org/
CONTENT: F/F romance. Yumi/Touko.
SUMMARY: Yumi wants to believe there is someone in the
world meant for her and only her. Touko wants to
believe for once someone truly loves her and only her.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but my long period of on the
job training. It's nearly endless folks!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I do love Yumi and Sachiko but as
coupley as they are my favorite pairing has to be Yumi
and Touko. Why? Well, read the fic and find out the
answer because I think my reasons are all in there.
The title of this fic, not as creative as it could be,
comes from the song Believe by The Bravery. Have a
listen!
Believe by The Bravery:
http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=58339800030FDDE5
Something To Believe
By: Dreiser
Although she wasn't an only child, Yumi was horrible
at sharing. Mind you, it was just the important things
that Yumi loathed to share. If you wanted to borrow a
shirt, book, or even a little bit of money she was
more than happy to accommodate you. But if it was
something she truly loved and treasured? Her head
would grow hot and her eyes would burn and she would
seethe and seethe until what she loved was finally
returned to her.
Such a thing had already been witnessed when her
oneesama had appeared to be drifting away from her
thanks to the attentions of Touko. She knew her
behavior was childish and she hated it and herself at
the time but all the same Yumi couldn't stop those
feelings from rising up in her.
Ridiculous thoughts, honestly. Sachiko was a person,
not a possession, and Yumi had no ownership rights
over her. Particularly because those rights belonged
to Suguru and the Ogasawara family.
Yumi loved Sachiko.
Yumi was in love with Sachiko.
And Yumi knew without the smallest bit of doubt that
Sachiko returned those feelings. But it was like Youko
had said in her first year when Yumi was watching her
oneesama dance with awe and a flutter in her heart,
Sachiko had serious eyes. She would do whatever her
family asked of her. Even marrying a man who didn't
love her and whom she could never really love. She
would do it in hopes of pleasing her family, to keep
their love.
Sachiko would marry Suguru and Yumi dreaded that day.
With graduation approaching for the two Roses that
wedding seemed to loom ever closer. She knew her
oneesama attending Lillian University was a last
minute delay tactic. Sachiko's attempt to give them as
much time together as she could before she had to take
that final inevitable step towards Suguru and her
future with him.
A future without Yumi.
They couldn't play this game that Suguru had invented
in his head. Where Sachiko goes out on his arm during
the day and comes home to Yumi at night. Living a
farce where they said one thing and meant another. It
would kill them. They had to live honestly together or
not at all.
Once the marriage happened they could be nothing more
than friends.
It wasn't fair to her oneesama and Yumi railed against
that future time and time again. Wanting to smash it
with her fists and tear it apart limb from limb but
that wasn't something Sachiko would allow Yumi to do.
So what was left for her? She would be left behind and
that precious thing she loved the most in the world,
the one thing she would rather die than share, would
be with another. And Yumi would be alone.
Then one day Sachiko mentioned with a sad but
encouraging smile that Yumi needed a petite soeur and
suddenly it became so clear. No one could replace her
precious oneesama but perhaps, if she was very lucky,
she could find someone to ease the loneliness she
would feel at Sachiko's departure.
Part of her did find it all very ridiculous, these
overdramatic feelings she was having. It wasn't as if
Sachiko was dying or moving to some far off land. She
would be right next door at Lillian University but
Yumi knew despite the proximity of her oneesama things
wouldn't be the same.
They simply couldn't. Not with the impending marriage
hanging over their heads and that ever present
knowledge that one day Sachiko couldn't be with Yumi
as they were now.
The problem was finding a petite soeur was harder than
one would actually think. After the utter disaster of
the tea party and her subsequent dealings with Kanako
she wondered if there was anyone truly meant for her
other than Sachiko. That perhaps they were wrong and
maybe they should play Suguru's game. After all,
twisted and deceptive as it was they would still be
together and wasn't that all that really mattered?
"We wouldn't be happy," Sachiko murmured sadly,
pushing stray locks of hair from Yumi's eyes. "Perhaps
we might be at first because we would be together but
that could change over time. You could become
resentful of the act I would be putting on with Suguru
and I would hate myself for hurting you." Pulling her
hand away and staring up at the glass ceiling to the
greenhouse, Sachiko continued, "I thought too much on
what was ideal in a soeur, what was best for the
Yamayurikai, when I chose Shimako and you know how
that ended." Dropping her gaze, Sachiko offered Yumi a
tender smile and caressed her cheek. "When I chose you
I thought of nothing but myself and what I truly
wanted. And what I wanted most was you as my petite
soeur. Listen to your heart and I promise it won't
lead you astray. After all," Sachiko gave a light
chuckle, "it did bring you to me."
"But oneesama," Yumi pleaded, reaching for Sachiko's
hands. "How will I know who is right for me? Who is
really meant to be my petite soeur?"
Blue eyes darkened sweetly and Sachiko ducked her
head, her lips brushing lightly against Yumi's for a
ghost of a kiss as she murmured, "You'll know." Taking
Yumi's hand in her own, she placed it over her heart.
"Because you'll feel it in your heart. How it warms at
their presence, races at their smile, and grows fierce
in your desire to protect them." Sachiko pressed her
lips to Yumi's forehead and softly echoed her own
words. "You'll know."
Weeks went by and somehow Yumi found herself pulled
from Sachiko's world and into Touko's. A world she
once jealously thought to be so close to her
oneesama's. But that wasn't true. Despite the
difficulties Sachiko had at home thanks to the
infidelities of her father and grandfather she knew
her family loved her. Perhaps that was part of the
reason she was so willing to give them what they
wanted in terms of marrying Suguru. She wanted to
return that love in whatever way she could, even if it
had the potential to make her miserable in the future.
Yes, Sachiko's family loved her and they gave her
attention. Almost too much attention, if you asked
Yumi. Going into every little detail of her oneesama's
life and making it their own. Because she was one of
them, an Ogasawara. It was a dangerous and suffocating
sense of belonging. Yumi could well understand
Sachiko's longing for both an escape and a desire to
bury herself in her family's loving embrace and never
leave.
However, Touko could hardly say the same.
Measure the amount of attention Sachiko received from
her family and multiply by two then you would see how
very little Touko mattered to those who bore her. She
had been wandering when Yuuki found her, desperate not
to return to the home that always seemed empty,
despite the people occupying it. Unable to go to her
clubs she loved so much because of their ability to
keep her from that place, to keep her mind occupied,
and to finally give her that feeling of belonging.
Because of what? A misunderstanding, a petty argument,
a clash of personalities. And suddenly Touko found
herself sitting on Yumi's bed, held in Yumi's arms,
and crying into the warmth of Yumi's embrace. It was
then that Yumi understood what Sachiko meant when she
said that she would know in her heart who was right
for her. Because in that moment there was nothing Yumi
wanted more than to ease the pain Touko was feeling.
Nothing was as important to her as Touko and when she
felt that, Yumi finally knew who her petite soeur was.
Realizing this and holding Touko close to her, Yumi
had been sorely tempted to offer her rosary. After
all, despite the less than happy circumstances it was
so very thrilling to finally know who she wanted. The
problem was, Yumi wasn't so sure Touko wanted her.
In fact, there were times Yumi doubted Touko liked her
very much. There had been more than a few instances of
Touko saying she needed to work harder to live up her
role as Rosa Chinesis en bouton. That she wasn't
suited to someone as elegant and refined as Sachiko.
At the time, Yumi had thought the words to be accurate
if not a bit jealousy filled. Surely if Sachiko was
the one that Touko wanted as a grande soeur then Yumi
would hardly be good enough. While it had hurt so very
badly in the past when she thought herself unworthy of
Sachiko it was nothing compared to the thought she
wasn't fit to be Touko's grande soeur.
There was only thing she could do. She would prove
beyond any shadow of a doubt to Touko that she was the
one meant to be her grande soeur. Showing her with not
only words but with deeds how she would be not only a
welcome presence in the other girl's life but a well
desired one. The first thing Yumi did to prove this
was to mend Touko's fractured relationship with the
school drama club. A relatively easy matter once she
got the members to understand Touko's caring heart was
masked by a rather prickly exterior.
And then came the night of the Yamayurikai's Christmas
party. Touko was hurting and she seemed so very far
from Yumi. She ran after the younger girl and before
she could stop herself, Yumi offered Touko her rosary.
The world was absolutely still and Yumi felt a strange
sort of peace when she took the rosary off, holding it
aloft in the air in the small space between her and
Touko. But then those horrible words came.
No, it wasn't the words that were horrible but rather
the way they were said and that twist of Touko's
mouth. The one that told Yumi she didn't believe this
was something Yumi truly wanted. That she was offering
her rosary out of sympathy not out of a genuine desire
to have Touko as her petite soeur. When in reality it
was the one thing Yumi wanted the most. She stood
there, numb and hurting, watching as Touko ran from
her, wondering if there was ever going to be anything
she could do to get her to come back, to welcome her
with open arms.
Touko ran from Yumi, so Yumi ran to Sachiko.
She knew she should stop leaning on her oneesama so
much and Yumi had tried so very hard to keep her
feelings of sadness in but Sachiko had known something
was wrong. Hearing the kindness in her oneesama's
voice, Yumi couldn't stop the story from spilling past
her lips. How she offered Touko her rosary and with
it, her heart, only to have them both rejected.
Sachiko listened and she comforted and most of all,
she had supportive but fierce words of wisdom and
warfare to share.
There's no shame being rejected, the only shame comes
from not trying. If Touko was who she wanted as her
petite soeur she shouldn't give up. She should keep
trying until Touko was finally hers. These words
warmed Yumi's heart and she agreed strongly, then
something in her broke and she was in Sachiko's arms.
Releasing the pain of Touko's rejection through her
tears, knowing that tomorrow she would have to try
again.
Because for Yumi it was Touko or no one. There was no
runner up, nobody waiting in the wings, it was Touko
and only Touko. She was the one Yumi knew was meant to
be her petite soeur. Even if it seemed Touko didn't
quite know that herself. But she would soon learn.
Especially if Yumi had anything to do with it.
so damn addicted to Maria-sama ga Miteru. This is the
prologue for the fic and the first part so there is
definitely more to come. Let me know what you think of
what I've got so far and if I should continue!
TITLE: Something To Believe
SERIES: Maria-sama Ga Miteru
AUTHOR: Dreiser
EMAIL: dreiser7@yahoo.com
YAHOO I.D.: dreiser7
MY WEBSITE: http://www.dreiser.org/
CONTENT: F/F romance. Yumi/Touko.
SUMMARY: Yumi wants to believe there is someone in the
world meant for her and only her. Touko wants to
believe for once someone truly loves her and only her.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but my long period of on the
job training. It's nearly endless folks!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I do love Yumi and Sachiko but as
coupley as they are my favorite pairing has to be Yumi
and Touko. Why? Well, read the fic and find out the
answer because I think my reasons are all in there.
The title of this fic, not as creative as it could be,
comes from the song Believe by The Bravery. Have a
listen!
Believe by The Bravery:
http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=58339800030FDDE5
Something To Believe
By: Dreiser
Although she wasn't an only child, Yumi was horrible
at sharing. Mind you, it was just the important things
that Yumi loathed to share. If you wanted to borrow a
shirt, book, or even a little bit of money she was
more than happy to accommodate you. But if it was
something she truly loved and treasured? Her head
would grow hot and her eyes would burn and she would
seethe and seethe until what she loved was finally
returned to her.
Such a thing had already been witnessed when her
oneesama had appeared to be drifting away from her
thanks to the attentions of Touko. She knew her
behavior was childish and she hated it and herself at
the time but all the same Yumi couldn't stop those
feelings from rising up in her.
Ridiculous thoughts, honestly. Sachiko was a person,
not a possession, and Yumi had no ownership rights
over her. Particularly because those rights belonged
to Suguru and the Ogasawara family.
Yumi loved Sachiko.
Yumi was in love with Sachiko.
And Yumi knew without the smallest bit of doubt that
Sachiko returned those feelings. But it was like Youko
had said in her first year when Yumi was watching her
oneesama dance with awe and a flutter in her heart,
Sachiko had serious eyes. She would do whatever her
family asked of her. Even marrying a man who didn't
love her and whom she could never really love. She
would do it in hopes of pleasing her family, to keep
their love.
Sachiko would marry Suguru and Yumi dreaded that day.
With graduation approaching for the two Roses that
wedding seemed to loom ever closer. She knew her
oneesama attending Lillian University was a last
minute delay tactic. Sachiko's attempt to give them as
much time together as she could before she had to take
that final inevitable step towards Suguru and her
future with him.
A future without Yumi.
They couldn't play this game that Suguru had invented
in his head. Where Sachiko goes out on his arm during
the day and comes home to Yumi at night. Living a
farce where they said one thing and meant another. It
would kill them. They had to live honestly together or
not at all.
Once the marriage happened they could be nothing more
than friends.
It wasn't fair to her oneesama and Yumi railed against
that future time and time again. Wanting to smash it
with her fists and tear it apart limb from limb but
that wasn't something Sachiko would allow Yumi to do.
So what was left for her? She would be left behind and
that precious thing she loved the most in the world,
the one thing she would rather die than share, would
be with another. And Yumi would be alone.
Then one day Sachiko mentioned with a sad but
encouraging smile that Yumi needed a petite soeur and
suddenly it became so clear. No one could replace her
precious oneesama but perhaps, if she was very lucky,
she could find someone to ease the loneliness she
would feel at Sachiko's departure.
Part of her did find it all very ridiculous, these
overdramatic feelings she was having. It wasn't as if
Sachiko was dying or moving to some far off land. She
would be right next door at Lillian University but
Yumi knew despite the proximity of her oneesama things
wouldn't be the same.
They simply couldn't. Not with the impending marriage
hanging over their heads and that ever present
knowledge that one day Sachiko couldn't be with Yumi
as they were now.
The problem was finding a petite soeur was harder than
one would actually think. After the utter disaster of
the tea party and her subsequent dealings with Kanako
she wondered if there was anyone truly meant for her
other than Sachiko. That perhaps they were wrong and
maybe they should play Suguru's game. After all,
twisted and deceptive as it was they would still be
together and wasn't that all that really mattered?
"We wouldn't be happy," Sachiko murmured sadly,
pushing stray locks of hair from Yumi's eyes. "Perhaps
we might be at first because we would be together but
that could change over time. You could become
resentful of the act I would be putting on with Suguru
and I would hate myself for hurting you." Pulling her
hand away and staring up at the glass ceiling to the
greenhouse, Sachiko continued, "I thought too much on
what was ideal in a soeur, what was best for the
Yamayurikai, when I chose Shimako and you know how
that ended." Dropping her gaze, Sachiko offered Yumi a
tender smile and caressed her cheek. "When I chose you
I thought of nothing but myself and what I truly
wanted. And what I wanted most was you as my petite
soeur. Listen to your heart and I promise it won't
lead you astray. After all," Sachiko gave a light
chuckle, "it did bring you to me."
"But oneesama," Yumi pleaded, reaching for Sachiko's
hands. "How will I know who is right for me? Who is
really meant to be my petite soeur?"
Blue eyes darkened sweetly and Sachiko ducked her
head, her lips brushing lightly against Yumi's for a
ghost of a kiss as she murmured, "You'll know." Taking
Yumi's hand in her own, she placed it over her heart.
"Because you'll feel it in your heart. How it warms at
their presence, races at their smile, and grows fierce
in your desire to protect them." Sachiko pressed her
lips to Yumi's forehead and softly echoed her own
words. "You'll know."
Weeks went by and somehow Yumi found herself pulled
from Sachiko's world and into Touko's. A world she
once jealously thought to be so close to her
oneesama's. But that wasn't true. Despite the
difficulties Sachiko had at home thanks to the
infidelities of her father and grandfather she knew
her family loved her. Perhaps that was part of the
reason she was so willing to give them what they
wanted in terms of marrying Suguru. She wanted to
return that love in whatever way she could, even if it
had the potential to make her miserable in the future.
Yes, Sachiko's family loved her and they gave her
attention. Almost too much attention, if you asked
Yumi. Going into every little detail of her oneesama's
life and making it their own. Because she was one of
them, an Ogasawara. It was a dangerous and suffocating
sense of belonging. Yumi could well understand
Sachiko's longing for both an escape and a desire to
bury herself in her family's loving embrace and never
leave.
However, Touko could hardly say the same.
Measure the amount of attention Sachiko received from
her family and multiply by two then you would see how
very little Touko mattered to those who bore her. She
had been wandering when Yuuki found her, desperate not
to return to the home that always seemed empty,
despite the people occupying it. Unable to go to her
clubs she loved so much because of their ability to
keep her from that place, to keep her mind occupied,
and to finally give her that feeling of belonging.
Because of what? A misunderstanding, a petty argument,
a clash of personalities. And suddenly Touko found
herself sitting on Yumi's bed, held in Yumi's arms,
and crying into the warmth of Yumi's embrace. It was
then that Yumi understood what Sachiko meant when she
said that she would know in her heart who was right
for her. Because in that moment there was nothing Yumi
wanted more than to ease the pain Touko was feeling.
Nothing was as important to her as Touko and when she
felt that, Yumi finally knew who her petite soeur was.
Realizing this and holding Touko close to her, Yumi
had been sorely tempted to offer her rosary. After
all, despite the less than happy circumstances it was
so very thrilling to finally know who she wanted. The
problem was, Yumi wasn't so sure Touko wanted her.
In fact, there were times Yumi doubted Touko liked her
very much. There had been more than a few instances of
Touko saying she needed to work harder to live up her
role as Rosa Chinesis en bouton. That she wasn't
suited to someone as elegant and refined as Sachiko.
At the time, Yumi had thought the words to be accurate
if not a bit jealousy filled. Surely if Sachiko was
the one that Touko wanted as a grande soeur then Yumi
would hardly be good enough. While it had hurt so very
badly in the past when she thought herself unworthy of
Sachiko it was nothing compared to the thought she
wasn't fit to be Touko's grande soeur.
There was only thing she could do. She would prove
beyond any shadow of a doubt to Touko that she was the
one meant to be her grande soeur. Showing her with not
only words but with deeds how she would be not only a
welcome presence in the other girl's life but a well
desired one. The first thing Yumi did to prove this
was to mend Touko's fractured relationship with the
school drama club. A relatively easy matter once she
got the members to understand Touko's caring heart was
masked by a rather prickly exterior.
And then came the night of the Yamayurikai's Christmas
party. Touko was hurting and she seemed so very far
from Yumi. She ran after the younger girl and before
she could stop herself, Yumi offered Touko her rosary.
The world was absolutely still and Yumi felt a strange
sort of peace when she took the rosary off, holding it
aloft in the air in the small space between her and
Touko. But then those horrible words came.
No, it wasn't the words that were horrible but rather
the way they were said and that twist of Touko's
mouth. The one that told Yumi she didn't believe this
was something Yumi truly wanted. That she was offering
her rosary out of sympathy not out of a genuine desire
to have Touko as her petite soeur. When in reality it
was the one thing Yumi wanted the most. She stood
there, numb and hurting, watching as Touko ran from
her, wondering if there was ever going to be anything
she could do to get her to come back, to welcome her
with open arms.
Touko ran from Yumi, so Yumi ran to Sachiko.
She knew she should stop leaning on her oneesama so
much and Yumi had tried so very hard to keep her
feelings of sadness in but Sachiko had known something
was wrong. Hearing the kindness in her oneesama's
voice, Yumi couldn't stop the story from spilling past
her lips. How she offered Touko her rosary and with
it, her heart, only to have them both rejected.
Sachiko listened and she comforted and most of all,
she had supportive but fierce words of wisdom and
warfare to share.
There's no shame being rejected, the only shame comes
from not trying. If Touko was who she wanted as her
petite soeur she shouldn't give up. She should keep
trying until Touko was finally hers. These words
warmed Yumi's heart and she agreed strongly, then
something in her broke and she was in Sachiko's arms.
Releasing the pain of Touko's rejection through her
tears, knowing that tomorrow she would have to try
again.
Because for Yumi it was Touko or no one. There was no
runner up, nobody waiting in the wings, it was Touko
and only Touko. She was the one Yumi knew was meant to
be her petite soeur. Even if it seemed Touko didn't
quite know that herself. But she would soon learn.
Especially if Yumi had anything to do with it.
no subject
Did you see OVA #4? That dance scene had all kinds of Yumi/Touko vibes.
Touko is definitely growing on me. And then the scene when Touko gets all upset at Yumi for being too easy going with Kanako, it seems like she actually cares, it's not just about being critical. Yumi was smiling like she was thinking 'so prickly, but so cute'.