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Eurovision ruled as usual. Here goes my rambling recap as I watched it live. Be warned, I love Eurovision like a crackhead loves crack and I'm already drinking as I watch this with friends. So be prepared for a lot of nonsense thoughts coming from my initial reactions to what I'm seeing on the screen.
What the hell Russians? There's a clown and a little kid on stage and flying business men on strings. Do you guys think you're French now? And scantily clad circus people now. And like... floating Russian dolls.
Circus people spinning in giant hula hoops. It's vaguely cool but I always wonder why the Eurovision starting act before the actual contestants has to be so freaking weird like Cirque du Soleil.
And what the fuck, that actually was Cirque du Soleil. No wonder I think it's freaky and I hate it. Sorry for fans but I just find them really disturbing.
Oh! Dima Bilan, the mullet winner from last year is performing. His mullet is gone though and now looks like a gay hipster. I'm not sure if this is an improvement. His white jeans make me giggle though and he just ran through a wall of exploding feathers. I kind of dig how he has hot girls paparazzi following him and taking pix. Oh! He went through another wall of feathers. And another one. What is he? The gay Russian Hulk? Now he's flying through the air on wires annnnnnd begin the gay singing.
I'm not being fair though. He has a decent voice. I just don't think he particularly deserved to win last year. Terry Wogan is right, that damn Eastern voting block has made it so a lot of undeserving acts win the whole show. There goes the former mullet, he flew away on his wires.
The hosts. Almost always they are annoying. Lets see what happens this time. Well, the guy is loud and the girl is hot.
Country: Lithuania
Artist: Sasha Son
Song: Love
He has a really good voice and the song is very mellow. Almost too mellow. Poor Lithuania. They don't seem to get that big boisterous and outrageous tends to win Eurovision not good singing and a pretty song. It's a shame this probably won't have any chance because it's a nice performance. Not winner worthy though. He shouldn't be at the bottom though.
Ohhh! Flames from his hand! I like that. Pyromania is cool but Ruslana still wins for her flame thrower performance. That rules all.
Points: 6
Country: Israel
Artist: Noa and Mira Awad
Song: There Must Be Another Way
Hot! Goth black fancy dresses hot! lol. Oh no, the second dress isn't nearly so nice. It's kind of sad when girls with no cleavage wear dresses that are very cleavage focused. It just makes you pay attention to what is lacking. They have nice voices, very dramatic, and I like how they sort of hover around each other doing a weird circular dance. It's weirdly Ren Faire though.
Points: 6
Country: France
Artist: Patricia Kaas
Song: Et s'il fallait le faire
France, oh, poor, poor, poor France. I love Patricia Kaas but France never does well. The crowd fucking loves her and who can blame them. She's got the classic low sexy French song delivery and her voice is drowning with drama. I love Patricia but France is always doomed. They never ever get close to winning and I really don't think this has a chance in hell. Still, I have much love for Patricia. I'm really happy how well she was received by the crowd, she deserves that for she rules much.
Points: 8
Country: Sweden
Artist: Malena Ernman
Song: La voix
Here comes the obligatory opera type number but it changes into techno because that's what Eurovision is about. This is supposed to be a dance number that's upbeat and it is but it's not quite really that because she goes off into opera type dramatic singing. It's like a combo between the two and her voice is nice but the mix doesn't work very well.
Her dramatic looks into the camera are amusing. WTF with the back up dancers and their weird masks though? Also her smiling isn't cute and infectious like Kate Ryan's when she sings. It's kind of creepy.
Dude! Painfully high pitched ending! Why Sweden? Why?
Points: 4
Country: Croatia
Artist: Igor Cukrov feat. Andrea
Song: Lijepa Tena
This is going to be another slow song. Yeah. Slow song. Makes me want to go to sleep. The guy is good looking the singing is nice but... this is boring.
Points: 2
Country: Portugal
Artist: Flor-de-Lis
Song: Todas as ruas do amor
The stage is very rainbow connection now. There's a hippie lady with a flower in her hair singing and a smiling girl with an accordion. I officially like this performance. lol. It's too quiet to win but it's really pretty and there's something charming about this act. The lead singer has a really nice and uplifting voice too. Plus lady with the accordion is pretty awesome. OMG! They have a ukulele too! This band has the best instruments ever and they're so cutely happy. I wish to hug them. Way to go Portugal.
Points: 8
Country: Iceland
Artist: Yohanna
Song: Is It True?
Pretty blonde dramatic pop performance. Her voice is lovely and the song is beautiful. I wonder if it might be too slow for the song to win though. I like it a lot but it's uber mellow.
The stage is so blue right now it looks like it's populated with Icelandic smurfs. lol. Seriously, why tint everything blue and dress them all that way? Your country isn't all icy despite its name. That's Greenland.
Points: 10
Country: Greece
Artist: Sakis Rouvas
Song: This Is Our Night
Sakis! You're back! First you perform for Greece in 2004 then host hilariously in 2006 where you got hit on by a gay comedienne from the Netherlands and now you perform again! I like you so. You're a nice guy who is pretty and can dance in really painfully tight jeans. lol. I like how people cheer wildly for him before he even starts his performance.
All white outfit and the painfully tight pants again. That's my boy! lol. Dude, his dance is like an aerobics routine. His shirt keeps riding up because he's bouncing in place and flexing his abs. This rules just for the really super active dance routine alone. The song is pretty standard pop but Sakis is just fabulous with his dramatic poses which match the songs. lol. And they have a moving stage so he's just sliding back and forth.
Leannnnn back, leannnnnn forward on the moving stage. And smoke bombs explode! lol. Sakis. I love you. This is why I adore Eurovision. Cheesy over the top pop performances. Oh! And the stage lifts up with him on it. Ahhh, that was made of so much win. I can't properly explain.
Points: 8
Country: Armenia
Artist: Inga and Anush
Song: Jan Jan
I really like Armenia. They're a relatively new country to the competition but they always bring really great stuff. This performance is dripping in drama and it has that element of the native music to the region to the song which just adds something special. The drums and brass are really nice.
Points: 8
Country: Russia
Artist: Anastasiya Prikhodko
Song: Mamo
It's freaky seeing the singer perform with gigantic crying faces of her behind her on the stage. Seriously. It's not good. She's very angry or upset. I'm not sure. I just can't get over her giant face crying behind her as she sings.
Points: 5
Country: Azerbaijan
Artist: AySel and Arash
Song: Always
Contortionist chicks. Dramatic guy in a bad jacket. Girl in a tiny white dress. Hee. This is pop fabulous cheesy. The girl is really pretty. Back up dancers aren't that good though. Hahaha... the guy trying to dance is really sad. He just doesn't have any moves at all. It's a nice duet but nothing great.
Points: 6
Country: Bosnia and Herzegovina
Artist: Regina
Song: Bistra voda
The stage is totally red and evil looking but everyone is dressed in white and in outfits out of the revolutionary war. He's singing in that quiet understated way that leads me to believe he's going to do a booming dramatic explode later on in the song. I like the actual background music better than his singing, it's quite pretty. This has no chance of winning.
Points: 4
Country: Moldova
Artist: Nelly Ciobanu
Song: Hora din Moldova
Oh Moldova. I have mixed feelings about you. Sometimes I despise your entries with such a burning fiery hatred and other times I love them above all others. I'm not sure what I feel right now but your girl has on a hilarious outfit that reminds me of the St. Paul beer girl. You also have humorous male back up dancers who are bouncing around in the background and skipping in circles which makes me giggle.
Okay. I think I know now. I love you Moldova. You've once again filled me with happy for this is such an enthusiastic and upbeat performance and now she's rapping and bouncing in place doing a little jig. This rules. Moldova, why do you toy with me? Why can't you always be this good?
That guy has a giant stick. What is he going to do with it? He's not walking quietly either. He's thrusting it into the air. Oh, there's little kids dancing on the big screen behind you guys. This was awesome. Moldova, yeahhhh!
Points: 8
Country: Malta
Artist: Chiara
Song: What If We
I dunno what it is with Malta. Every year they send a woman with a fantastically epic voice who is overweight. It's like the country has a type and they refuse to look at other options. Every year the performer rules and every year they don't get close to winning. Malta, it makes me sad, especially since I always love your entries.
Points: 8
Country: Estonia
Artist: Urban Symphony
Song: Rändajad
I've been waiting for this performance to see if it would be made of awesome live and so far yes, it is made of so much awesome. I love music like this, where it's just... everything is perfect about it. The singing delivery, the background music, the strings are so perfectly matched to her voice and the way this performance is shot with the circling around the string section to the singer as she remains motionless in the front of the stage, so great.
This is such a fantastic performance. I really hope they get votes but I worry it's not dramatic enough for the Eurovision voters. Oh god! She's playing the violin, the lead singer, actually playing, not faking it. Nice. I didn't know she was part of the instrumentals. I really want to buy this group's cd now. They're really fantastic. Estonia, so much win! Thank you for this entry.
Points: 12
Country: Denmark
Artist: Niels Brinck
Song: Believe Again
This sucks. I'm having a visceral this sucks reaction. Okay. I'm officially done with this performance. You guys are on your own for this one.
Points: 1
Country: Germany
Artist: Alex Swings Oscar Sings!
Song: Miss Kiss Kiss Bang
Germany what weird ass genre are you sending this year? Each year it's a new fucking genre. I'm waiting on rap, bitches. Oh no. You're sending swing music this year. Why, Germany? Is this like your love for David Hasselhoff? I think it is. I mean, in theory it's not bad but I sort of loathe swing music. I don't like the big band thing at all but I'm amused by his shiny silver pants. Germany, please send a rapper next year? I'm sure you guys have cool rappers. You're Germany! Or a metal band? Come on. You sent a really kick ass country music band one year. You can do it.
Wow. This is really gay and now his shirt is unbuttoned. I don't like this genre of music but I have to admit, this is a good performance. I will judge it on what it deserves based on the performance quality not on my hatred of this kind of music. Plus they had a S&M dominatrix in the performance who had a riding crop. That's some cool shit Germany. I give props.
Points: 8
Country: Turkey
Artist: Hadise
Song: Düm Tek Tek
Yay! I've been looking forward to this. Belly dancing! Turkey requires belly dancing from all their female pop singer performances. Yes, seconds in and the belly dancing has begun. Thank you, Turkey. You never fail me. In all honesty, the performance isn't as good as it should be but I'm biased since I love this song. Also... belly dancing. Plus I love Turkey. They have nice synchronized dancing. Although what the hell with all the hot chicks in red then some random dude in an olive outfit? Why is he there?
I think he's wearing a skirt. Huh.
Points: 7
Country: Albania
Artist: Kejsi Tola
Song: Carry Me in Your Dreams
She's dressed like a ballerina. Seriously. I think she's got a tutu on. And there is a weird dude in an all blue outfit behind her with a mask over his face that's sparkly covered with beading. lol. This is great. I like her voice. She's got the loud booming pop voice. Classic Eurovision. Aww. Her little dance in place and hand gestures. This is adorable.
Augh! She has mimes dancing behind her. I take the adorable comment back. Mimes are fucking freaky. WTF mimes? Wind machine blowing up the tutu action now. I like when she steps on the mimes. Stepping on mimes is acceptable. Just do that for the whole performance tutu singer instead of letting the faceless blue dude grope you.
That was pretty sweet Albania.
Points: 7
Country: Norway
Artist: Alexander Rybak
Song: Fairytale
Fiddling and folk dancing awesome. He doesn't sing so much as talks in a melodic fashion. His facial expressions are pretty amusing. Ah, now he's singing. His voice is pretty good. I love his fiddling. It's fucking good fiddling and the guys who were folk dancing are doing push up dancing. Now he has pretty girls in pink dresses as his back up singers. Okay, dude, I dunno what it is. I love this performance now. It's just awesome in a strange way.
Fiddle, dude, fiddle! Yessss. lol. So great. It's dramatic fiddling and now here comes the aerobic folk dancing complete with flips. Nice. Pryotechnics and fiddling! Norwayyyyyy. That ruled. You're awesome.
Points: 12
Country: Ukraine
Artist: Svetlana Loboda
Song: Be My Valentine! (Anti-Crisis Girl)
From the start this has been my favorite song/artist for the entry. I tend to love everything from Ukraine starting with Ruslana but I think this performance should be made of pure Eurovision quality if done right. And here we go! Oh yeah, it's starting great. Girl in the spinning metal cage. Nice. Ukraine why are you made of so much win? I love you.
Seriously, Ukraine has the sexiest female pop singers. It's just something one can't deny. They have this abundance. lol. I wish she would come out of her spinning metal cage. The performance is really good though. She's got the energy and her voice is good. Plus the dancing and the skimpy outfits and the metal cages and back up male dancers in Roman sentry outfits is pretty cool. Along with hip thrusting dancing from the lead singer.
Ahhh, Ukraine. She's playing the drums while dragged along by Roman sentry back up dancers with huge flames of fire around her. Dude, Ukraine. You're just so very good. You never fail me. This is Ruslana quality.
Urkaineeeee! You're the best. Please win. I love you.
Points: 12
Country: Romania
Artist: Elena
Song: The Balkan Girls
The Balkan Girls, they like to party like nobody like nobody. I love this performance just for that song lyric. The female back up dancers are wearing weird strips of cloth dresses are all flowing. It's sort of lame. Plus they can't really dance well. The singing is good though. I mean, it's okay, not really anything spectacular or awful. Just okay. It's a nice try.
Points: 7
Country: United Kingdom
Artist: Jade Ewen
Song: It's My Time
Poor, pathetic, UK. You say it's your time but it's not been your time for years. No one ever votes for you and for the past few years you've seemed to given up by sending the most craptastic entries ever. Lets see how you do now.
Well. She has a pretty voice. Very pretty indeed. This song is boring though and she has a dude in a tuxedo playing violin. This is not boding well. Oh, and there is Andrew Lloyd Webber playing the piano since this is the song he wrote and he picked out this singer. I know everyone loves him but I don't think this will help UK finally get a win. Or maybe people will bow down to his pure awesome because of who he is? I dunno.
She has a really super pretty voice though. We'll see.
Points: 8
Country: Finland
Artist: Waldo's People
Song: Lose Control
Here's the gay! I was wondering where you went. Although he's trying not to be gay with the firey barrels and backwards cap and attempted tough guy rapping but yeah, this is gay. Hahaha. He's trying so hard to be macho. It's cute, dude, but it doesn't work. This is gay club music. I like it though. Plus you have guys spinning firey sticks behind you. That's cool.
I think it's sort of awesome when you pan to the audience and you can see them all dancing and having a good time. I so want to see Eurovision live one day. It has to be the most fun thing ever. How couldn't it be?
Points: 8
Country: Spain
Artist: Soraya Arnelas
Song: La noche es para mí
Last but not least, here comes Spain. Ohhh, smoke filled stage and dramatic purple lighting. Nice. I like her. She sort of reminds me of Kate with the smile as she sings and it not being creepy but it's charming. She has a nice pop voice too, loud and clear delivery and good tone. Also, she's got flair.
Haha. I like that word. Flair. What is great about Greek and Spanish female singers is they have these large gestures they do when they sing. It's just so funny and awesome. It's like they have to emphasize what they sing with their bodies with all the gesturing. It adds something special to the performance. Oh, close up, she's really pretty. lol. She just did a little dance in place, and back to the dramatic gesturing on stairs. Pyrotechnics!
Spain! That was great. Her hair is all staticy and cute now.
Points: 8
Time for the voting. I'm sure they'll have a weird ass intermission performance. The host country always does. Given my hate for Cirque du Soleil I wonder if I should see what Russia gives us. Hm. That's pretty cool. They got the astronauts on the International Space Station to start off the voting. Okay. Fifteen minute break. I go to hang out with friends and booze.
Intermission performance is beginning. There's an attractive chick trapped in red water trying to escape and people flying through the air dancing on purple pink curtains. I have a feeling this is Cirque du Soleil shit again and thus I am ending my recap at this point. I dislike this crap. I'll return once I find out who has won this year. I'm rooting for Estonia, Norway, and Ukraine. I'd be happy if any of those won.
Norway is totally doing well. This makes me so happy. It's not a standard act and I love it when something outside the usual Eurovision entries wins. Like when Lordi won for Finland. That rocked. This is just as good. Norway is crushing everyone. They have 125 points and UK is in second and they only have 54. What the hell though? Spain has no points. That sucks hard.
225 for Norway and 125 for Turkey who is in second. Norway seems to have this one in the bag. Way to go! This pleases me so much. Spain no longer has zero points. They've got 16 points now.
Awwww. Paul isn't doing the votes for The Netherlands. He's a hilarious comedienne. That's hella lame. Whatever though.
Norway wins with 387 points!!! Yayyyyyy! That rocks so hard. Here comes the encore winning performance and the fiddling rocks as much as it did before. I really think it was the fiddling that helped him win. It's just too good.
What the hell Russians? There's a clown and a little kid on stage and flying business men on strings. Do you guys think you're French now? And scantily clad circus people now. And like... floating Russian dolls.
Circus people spinning in giant hula hoops. It's vaguely cool but I always wonder why the Eurovision starting act before the actual contestants has to be so freaking weird like Cirque du Soleil.
And what the fuck, that actually was Cirque du Soleil. No wonder I think it's freaky and I hate it. Sorry for fans but I just find them really disturbing.
Oh! Dima Bilan, the mullet winner from last year is performing. His mullet is gone though and now looks like a gay hipster. I'm not sure if this is an improvement. His white jeans make me giggle though and he just ran through a wall of exploding feathers. I kind of dig how he has hot girls paparazzi following him and taking pix. Oh! He went through another wall of feathers. And another one. What is he? The gay Russian Hulk? Now he's flying through the air on wires annnnnnd begin the gay singing.
I'm not being fair though. He has a decent voice. I just don't think he particularly deserved to win last year. Terry Wogan is right, that damn Eastern voting block has made it so a lot of undeserving acts win the whole show. There goes the former mullet, he flew away on his wires.
The hosts. Almost always they are annoying. Lets see what happens this time. Well, the guy is loud and the girl is hot.
Country: Lithuania
Artist: Sasha Son
Song: Love
He has a really good voice and the song is very mellow. Almost too mellow. Poor Lithuania. They don't seem to get that big boisterous and outrageous tends to win Eurovision not good singing and a pretty song. It's a shame this probably won't have any chance because it's a nice performance. Not winner worthy though. He shouldn't be at the bottom though.
Ohhh! Flames from his hand! I like that. Pyromania is cool but Ruslana still wins for her flame thrower performance. That rules all.
Points: 6
Country: Israel
Artist: Noa and Mira Awad
Song: There Must Be Another Way
Hot! Goth black fancy dresses hot! lol. Oh no, the second dress isn't nearly so nice. It's kind of sad when girls with no cleavage wear dresses that are very cleavage focused. It just makes you pay attention to what is lacking. They have nice voices, very dramatic, and I like how they sort of hover around each other doing a weird circular dance. It's weirdly Ren Faire though.
Points: 6
Country: France
Artist: Patricia Kaas
Song: Et s'il fallait le faire
France, oh, poor, poor, poor France. I love Patricia Kaas but France never does well. The crowd fucking loves her and who can blame them. She's got the classic low sexy French song delivery and her voice is drowning with drama. I love Patricia but France is always doomed. They never ever get close to winning and I really don't think this has a chance in hell. Still, I have much love for Patricia. I'm really happy how well she was received by the crowd, she deserves that for she rules much.
Points: 8
Country: Sweden
Artist: Malena Ernman
Song: La voix
Here comes the obligatory opera type number but it changes into techno because that's what Eurovision is about. This is supposed to be a dance number that's upbeat and it is but it's not quite really that because she goes off into opera type dramatic singing. It's like a combo between the two and her voice is nice but the mix doesn't work very well.
Her dramatic looks into the camera are amusing. WTF with the back up dancers and their weird masks though? Also her smiling isn't cute and infectious like Kate Ryan's when she sings. It's kind of creepy.
Dude! Painfully high pitched ending! Why Sweden? Why?
Points: 4
Country: Croatia
Artist: Igor Cukrov feat. Andrea
Song: Lijepa Tena
This is going to be another slow song. Yeah. Slow song. Makes me want to go to sleep. The guy is good looking the singing is nice but... this is boring.
Points: 2
Country: Portugal
Artist: Flor-de-Lis
Song: Todas as ruas do amor
The stage is very rainbow connection now. There's a hippie lady with a flower in her hair singing and a smiling girl with an accordion. I officially like this performance. lol. It's too quiet to win but it's really pretty and there's something charming about this act. The lead singer has a really nice and uplifting voice too. Plus lady with the accordion is pretty awesome. OMG! They have a ukulele too! This band has the best instruments ever and they're so cutely happy. I wish to hug them. Way to go Portugal.
Points: 8
Country: Iceland
Artist: Yohanna
Song: Is It True?
Pretty blonde dramatic pop performance. Her voice is lovely and the song is beautiful. I wonder if it might be too slow for the song to win though. I like it a lot but it's uber mellow.
The stage is so blue right now it looks like it's populated with Icelandic smurfs. lol. Seriously, why tint everything blue and dress them all that way? Your country isn't all icy despite its name. That's Greenland.
Points: 10
Country: Greece
Artist: Sakis Rouvas
Song: This Is Our Night
Sakis! You're back! First you perform for Greece in 2004 then host hilariously in 2006 where you got hit on by a gay comedienne from the Netherlands and now you perform again! I like you so. You're a nice guy who is pretty and can dance in really painfully tight jeans. lol. I like how people cheer wildly for him before he even starts his performance.
All white outfit and the painfully tight pants again. That's my boy! lol. Dude, his dance is like an aerobics routine. His shirt keeps riding up because he's bouncing in place and flexing his abs. This rules just for the really super active dance routine alone. The song is pretty standard pop but Sakis is just fabulous with his dramatic poses which match the songs. lol. And they have a moving stage so he's just sliding back and forth.
Leannnnn back, leannnnnn forward on the moving stage. And smoke bombs explode! lol. Sakis. I love you. This is why I adore Eurovision. Cheesy over the top pop performances. Oh! And the stage lifts up with him on it. Ahhh, that was made of so much win. I can't properly explain.
Points: 8
Country: Armenia
Artist: Inga and Anush
Song: Jan Jan
I really like Armenia. They're a relatively new country to the competition but they always bring really great stuff. This performance is dripping in drama and it has that element of the native music to the region to the song which just adds something special. The drums and brass are really nice.
Points: 8
Country: Russia
Artist: Anastasiya Prikhodko
Song: Mamo
It's freaky seeing the singer perform with gigantic crying faces of her behind her on the stage. Seriously. It's not good. She's very angry or upset. I'm not sure. I just can't get over her giant face crying behind her as she sings.
Points: 5
Country: Azerbaijan
Artist: AySel and Arash
Song: Always
Contortionist chicks. Dramatic guy in a bad jacket. Girl in a tiny white dress. Hee. This is pop fabulous cheesy. The girl is really pretty. Back up dancers aren't that good though. Hahaha... the guy trying to dance is really sad. He just doesn't have any moves at all. It's a nice duet but nothing great.
Points: 6
Country: Bosnia and Herzegovina
Artist: Regina
Song: Bistra voda
The stage is totally red and evil looking but everyone is dressed in white and in outfits out of the revolutionary war. He's singing in that quiet understated way that leads me to believe he's going to do a booming dramatic explode later on in the song. I like the actual background music better than his singing, it's quite pretty. This has no chance of winning.
Points: 4
Country: Moldova
Artist: Nelly Ciobanu
Song: Hora din Moldova
Oh Moldova. I have mixed feelings about you. Sometimes I despise your entries with such a burning fiery hatred and other times I love them above all others. I'm not sure what I feel right now but your girl has on a hilarious outfit that reminds me of the St. Paul beer girl. You also have humorous male back up dancers who are bouncing around in the background and skipping in circles which makes me giggle.
Okay. I think I know now. I love you Moldova. You've once again filled me with happy for this is such an enthusiastic and upbeat performance and now she's rapping and bouncing in place doing a little jig. This rules. Moldova, why do you toy with me? Why can't you always be this good?
That guy has a giant stick. What is he going to do with it? He's not walking quietly either. He's thrusting it into the air. Oh, there's little kids dancing on the big screen behind you guys. This was awesome. Moldova, yeahhhh!
Points: 8
Country: Malta
Artist: Chiara
Song: What If We
I dunno what it is with Malta. Every year they send a woman with a fantastically epic voice who is overweight. It's like the country has a type and they refuse to look at other options. Every year the performer rules and every year they don't get close to winning. Malta, it makes me sad, especially since I always love your entries.
Points: 8
Country: Estonia
Artist: Urban Symphony
Song: Rändajad
I've been waiting for this performance to see if it would be made of awesome live and so far yes, it is made of so much awesome. I love music like this, where it's just... everything is perfect about it. The singing delivery, the background music, the strings are so perfectly matched to her voice and the way this performance is shot with the circling around the string section to the singer as she remains motionless in the front of the stage, so great.
This is such a fantastic performance. I really hope they get votes but I worry it's not dramatic enough for the Eurovision voters. Oh god! She's playing the violin, the lead singer, actually playing, not faking it. Nice. I didn't know she was part of the instrumentals. I really want to buy this group's cd now. They're really fantastic. Estonia, so much win! Thank you for this entry.
Points: 12
Country: Denmark
Artist: Niels Brinck
Song: Believe Again
This sucks. I'm having a visceral this sucks reaction. Okay. I'm officially done with this performance. You guys are on your own for this one.
Points: 1
Country: Germany
Artist: Alex Swings Oscar Sings!
Song: Miss Kiss Kiss Bang
Germany what weird ass genre are you sending this year? Each year it's a new fucking genre. I'm waiting on rap, bitches. Oh no. You're sending swing music this year. Why, Germany? Is this like your love for David Hasselhoff? I think it is. I mean, in theory it's not bad but I sort of loathe swing music. I don't like the big band thing at all but I'm amused by his shiny silver pants. Germany, please send a rapper next year? I'm sure you guys have cool rappers. You're Germany! Or a metal band? Come on. You sent a really kick ass country music band one year. You can do it.
Wow. This is really gay and now his shirt is unbuttoned. I don't like this genre of music but I have to admit, this is a good performance. I will judge it on what it deserves based on the performance quality not on my hatred of this kind of music. Plus they had a S&M dominatrix in the performance who had a riding crop. That's some cool shit Germany. I give props.
Points: 8
Country: Turkey
Artist: Hadise
Song: Düm Tek Tek
Yay! I've been looking forward to this. Belly dancing! Turkey requires belly dancing from all their female pop singer performances. Yes, seconds in and the belly dancing has begun. Thank you, Turkey. You never fail me. In all honesty, the performance isn't as good as it should be but I'm biased since I love this song. Also... belly dancing. Plus I love Turkey. They have nice synchronized dancing. Although what the hell with all the hot chicks in red then some random dude in an olive outfit? Why is he there?
I think he's wearing a skirt. Huh.
Points: 7
Country: Albania
Artist: Kejsi Tola
Song: Carry Me in Your Dreams
She's dressed like a ballerina. Seriously. I think she's got a tutu on. And there is a weird dude in an all blue outfit behind her with a mask over his face that's sparkly covered with beading. lol. This is great. I like her voice. She's got the loud booming pop voice. Classic Eurovision. Aww. Her little dance in place and hand gestures. This is adorable.
Augh! She has mimes dancing behind her. I take the adorable comment back. Mimes are fucking freaky. WTF mimes? Wind machine blowing up the tutu action now. I like when she steps on the mimes. Stepping on mimes is acceptable. Just do that for the whole performance tutu singer instead of letting the faceless blue dude grope you.
That was pretty sweet Albania.
Points: 7
Country: Norway
Artist: Alexander Rybak
Song: Fairytale
Fiddling and folk dancing awesome. He doesn't sing so much as talks in a melodic fashion. His facial expressions are pretty amusing. Ah, now he's singing. His voice is pretty good. I love his fiddling. It's fucking good fiddling and the guys who were folk dancing are doing push up dancing. Now he has pretty girls in pink dresses as his back up singers. Okay, dude, I dunno what it is. I love this performance now. It's just awesome in a strange way.
Fiddle, dude, fiddle! Yessss. lol. So great. It's dramatic fiddling and now here comes the aerobic folk dancing complete with flips. Nice. Pryotechnics and fiddling! Norwayyyyyy. That ruled. You're awesome.
Points: 12
Country: Ukraine
Artist: Svetlana Loboda
Song: Be My Valentine! (Anti-Crisis Girl)
From the start this has been my favorite song/artist for the entry. I tend to love everything from Ukraine starting with Ruslana but I think this performance should be made of pure Eurovision quality if done right. And here we go! Oh yeah, it's starting great. Girl in the spinning metal cage. Nice. Ukraine why are you made of so much win? I love you.
Seriously, Ukraine has the sexiest female pop singers. It's just something one can't deny. They have this abundance. lol. I wish she would come out of her spinning metal cage. The performance is really good though. She's got the energy and her voice is good. Plus the dancing and the skimpy outfits and the metal cages and back up male dancers in Roman sentry outfits is pretty cool. Along with hip thrusting dancing from the lead singer.
Ahhh, Ukraine. She's playing the drums while dragged along by Roman sentry back up dancers with huge flames of fire around her. Dude, Ukraine. You're just so very good. You never fail me. This is Ruslana quality.
Urkaineeeee! You're the best. Please win. I love you.
Points: 12
Country: Romania
Artist: Elena
Song: The Balkan Girls
The Balkan Girls, they like to party like nobody like nobody. I love this performance just for that song lyric. The female back up dancers are wearing weird strips of cloth dresses are all flowing. It's sort of lame. Plus they can't really dance well. The singing is good though. I mean, it's okay, not really anything spectacular or awful. Just okay. It's a nice try.
Points: 7
Country: United Kingdom
Artist: Jade Ewen
Song: It's My Time
Poor, pathetic, UK. You say it's your time but it's not been your time for years. No one ever votes for you and for the past few years you've seemed to given up by sending the most craptastic entries ever. Lets see how you do now.
Well. She has a pretty voice. Very pretty indeed. This song is boring though and she has a dude in a tuxedo playing violin. This is not boding well. Oh, and there is Andrew Lloyd Webber playing the piano since this is the song he wrote and he picked out this singer. I know everyone loves him but I don't think this will help UK finally get a win. Or maybe people will bow down to his pure awesome because of who he is? I dunno.
She has a really super pretty voice though. We'll see.
Points: 8
Country: Finland
Artist: Waldo's People
Song: Lose Control
Here's the gay! I was wondering where you went. Although he's trying not to be gay with the firey barrels and backwards cap and attempted tough guy rapping but yeah, this is gay. Hahaha. He's trying so hard to be macho. It's cute, dude, but it doesn't work. This is gay club music. I like it though. Plus you have guys spinning firey sticks behind you. That's cool.
I think it's sort of awesome when you pan to the audience and you can see them all dancing and having a good time. I so want to see Eurovision live one day. It has to be the most fun thing ever. How couldn't it be?
Points: 8
Country: Spain
Artist: Soraya Arnelas
Song: La noche es para mí
Last but not least, here comes Spain. Ohhh, smoke filled stage and dramatic purple lighting. Nice. I like her. She sort of reminds me of Kate with the smile as she sings and it not being creepy but it's charming. She has a nice pop voice too, loud and clear delivery and good tone. Also, she's got flair.
Haha. I like that word. Flair. What is great about Greek and Spanish female singers is they have these large gestures they do when they sing. It's just so funny and awesome. It's like they have to emphasize what they sing with their bodies with all the gesturing. It adds something special to the performance. Oh, close up, she's really pretty. lol. She just did a little dance in place, and back to the dramatic gesturing on stairs. Pyrotechnics!
Spain! That was great. Her hair is all staticy and cute now.
Points: 8
Time for the voting. I'm sure they'll have a weird ass intermission performance. The host country always does. Given my hate for Cirque du Soleil I wonder if I should see what Russia gives us. Hm. That's pretty cool. They got the astronauts on the International Space Station to start off the voting. Okay. Fifteen minute break. I go to hang out with friends and booze.
Intermission performance is beginning. There's an attractive chick trapped in red water trying to escape and people flying through the air dancing on purple pink curtains. I have a feeling this is Cirque du Soleil shit again and thus I am ending my recap at this point. I dislike this crap. I'll return once I find out who has won this year. I'm rooting for Estonia, Norway, and Ukraine. I'd be happy if any of those won.
Norway is totally doing well. This makes me so happy. It's not a standard act and I love it when something outside the usual Eurovision entries wins. Like when Lordi won for Finland. That rocked. This is just as good. Norway is crushing everyone. They have 125 points and UK is in second and they only have 54. What the hell though? Spain has no points. That sucks hard.
225 for Norway and 125 for Turkey who is in second. Norway seems to have this one in the bag. Way to go! This pleases me so much. Spain no longer has zero points. They've got 16 points now.
Awwww. Paul isn't doing the votes for The Netherlands. He's a hilarious comedienne. That's hella lame. Whatever though.
Norway wins with 387 points!!! Yayyyyyy! That rocks so hard. Here comes the encore winning performance and the fiddling rocks as much as it did before. I really think it was the fiddling that helped him win. It's just too good.
Tags:
- eurovision,
- music,
- squee,
- tv,
- watch this
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