To Write Or Not To Write

[dreiser]

I'm one of those fanfic writers who likes feedback, particularly the kind that is thoughtful and focuses on my fuck ups and things that could improve my work, but I don't need it to keep writing. I've written tons of stories that get no attention at all and I love them to pieces. For me, fanfic is about me writing things I want to see happen to characters I love. Just simple stories I want to see told.

One of my girlier traits is being fucking fickle. I flit from one fandom and one ship to another with very little loyalty at that. I don't tend to have OTP's. I'll pair a character I like with several different people if it suits my fancy. All it takes is decent chemistry, good characters, and something inexplicable for me to be drawn to a new focus for fanfic. Lately I've been drawn to Bianca and Reese on All My Children which is my longtime soap opera obsession. Spoilers have hinted this couple is doomed in a very huge and insulting way.

I'm almost positive if they are doomed I won't have the drive to finish my huge backstory for them about how they hooked up. Just because it seems sort of futile to write something long and lovely and fluffy romantic in a lot of ways for a couple that is dead in the water and becomes that way in such a manner that is thoroughly insulting and screws over Bianca yet again.

My question is for the people who read said fanfic. Do you feel the same? I mean, would you really want to keep reading a flufftastic romantic piece for Bianca and Reese if all the horrible spoilers do happen and their relationship ends up in utter shambles? I'm curious but I will be honest, your responses, whether they're negative or positive won't effect if I keep writing the story or not. That's all about my own tiny attention span and willingness to keep pimping the couple after everything that goes down on the show.

And since I'm still fond of Reese please don't bash her in your responses. I refuse to blame Reese for all the fucked up shit the writers are having her do just like I refuse to blame Bianca for not asking Kendall's permission for her husband to be the sperm donor daddy of Gabrielle. I'm irrational like that.

In the meantime, I'll keep writing and waiting for all the horribleness from spoilers to ensue. I remain interested in writing my AMC/L Word crossover fanfic for Helena and Bianca no matter what happens.

As well as maybe a fanfic that occurs after Bianca exits the show and she becomes super bitter and cynical and just closed off to the world after being screwed over so many times and then Frankie arrives back from the dead.

Comments

[th0u-art-that.livejournal.com]

Forget Reese, after seeing that promo, I'm done with her. Helena/Bianca? Yes, yes, yes!! I imagine Erica and Peggy being old friends that were fabulous and rich together until they had kids. I once read a cross-over that paired Binks with season 2 Bette, and it was super-dee-duper hot. Helena seems like a near perfect match though what with the wealth, fabulousness, kids, hotness, etc... Now, tell me who the top shall be in this scenario? Surely not Bianca, who's pretty much an ingenue compared to Helena.

[dreiser.livejournal.com]

I dunno if I can, that's the thing. I hate hate hate spoilers but I can't really hold Reese to blame for just what seems to be crazy ass out of character weird writing. I dunno. I'm very fond of her character thanks to Tamara Braun and the spoilers about her bum me out.

I think I recall reading that fic too! They had a fling when Bette was in NYC, right? Hm. Bianca and Helena have so much in common it's crazy. That's why I love the idea of them together. Plus they would be so good to each other given their horrible romantic histories. They would know how great they had it with each other and wouldn't ruin things.

Dude, Helena so tops. lol. Though I think Bianca would get some topping time in. Helena has been shown to let others take charge now and again and Bianca does have some topping instincts. I think Helena would be a huge change for Bianca in the fact she would be really expressive in her desire and attraction towards Bianca.

Thing is, I don't want Jenny to die and I don't want to deal with Kinks combusting so I would have to retcon the fic so it takes place after S5 for L Word and Bianca never meets Reese in Paris. I wonder if that would be a cop out though.

[murasaki1200.livejournal.com]

Retcon away. It's not a copout if it's truer to the characters. I consider what's happening now on the show collateral damage caused by talent contract negotiations that's impacting the integrity of the characters.

Errr

[lulu42012.livejournal.com]

As much as I would love to have you continue the story, for my own selfish reasons, it does seem a bit futile. I can only hope that things aren't ruined so bad that you can't even write Kendall into any of the stories. Oh and she did look cute in the hat from the spoiler.

Re: Errr

[dreiser.livejournal.com]

If I wrote the L Word crossover I was thinking of retconning it because I don't want to deal with Kinks combusting and Jenny dying. Thus it would take place after S5 for L Word and Bianca not meeting Reese in Paris. I dunno why but I like her in that hat. lol. I'm glad Kendall is back even if she doesn't forgive Binks.

Honestly, I want to finish the fic because I've got it all plotted out and I've invested all this time into it but I do think I need something. Like a meager scrap like BAM got when Maggie exited the show and Bianca agreed to keep in contact with her in order to keep writing it. Something where it doesn't seem totally impossible Bianca and Reese work things out.

Write On, Dreiser!

[(Anonymous)]

I think we need and appreciate that characters and relationships can live on, and wrongs can be "writed" in the fanfic world, regardless of what happens on screen(or in real life, for that matter). In fact, when it's too painful to watch some of that Zach/Reese interaction, I am so grateful I can lose myself in (especially one of your)fanfics, where things make more sense and I don't feel so betrayed... Not to mention, your stories, your characterizations sizzle with the intense chemistry, love, affection and romance that we have seen on screen b/w B and R.

And again, sorry to sound greedy, but I'm still hoping that with 16 Glimpses in the can, there's 984 to go...LOL

Still fits, for now . . .

[careofsoul.livejournal.com]

Contrary to what a lot of people think - I still think that your story can fit with what happens on the show - especially because right now people are guessing. No doubt that Reese kissing Zach is a betrayal - on so many levels - but how do they handle it? What leads up to it? Your last scene with Audry is such great foreshadowing of the problems that are to come from keeping secrets from Bianca, which Reese doesn't have enough faith in herself, the relationship, Bianca, to stop doing. Apparently she is about to be torn to shreds in the next week - after she just rejected her parents and basically any sense of life before Bianca. At the shower Reese gushed to Erica about how much her support mean to her - now to have everyone question her and have NO support EXCEPT Zach? Still fits your fanfic. However, what happens with the kiss is key. If they break up I could completely agree with ending it - I wouldn't have the motivation to write it either!

Re: Still fits, for now . . .

[murasaki1200.livejournal.com]

Honestly the kiss is totally OOC for reese IMO .
Who kisses someone just because they may be bisexual when they are already in a wonderful relationship? Bisexual doesnot mean untrustworthy. Breese should be having tons of sexytimes right now - - offscreen is fine- which should be all Reese needs to get clear in her head.
I loved so many things about the last chapter: the scene with Miranda was just right, Reese being all obsessed with getting Bianca naked as much as possible, Bianca being totally there with that plan, thoughtfully clearing space, it all felt right on. I was surprised that Reese was actually already planning never to tell binks . For one thing it's naive to think it won't come out and Reese is old enough to know better. More importantly, it feels very different to be avoiding the ugly truth about her parents and be unable to talk about it now because she's upset and afraid vs to be actively planning to hide something forever. That latter is fucked up and would make me wonder whether Reese is someone Binks can ever really know.

Re: Still fits, for now . . .

[careofsoul.livejournal.com]

I don't think that for the show the kiss is absolutely OOC for Reese - you have to know it's content. What if it has little or nothing to do with sexuality but connection? Somehow she is able to see that? Again, I get that it is a betrayal, but she isn't being honest with Bianca at any point of this story. The fanfic is better than the show - more depth and insight into the characters. Take Miranda for instance - often it's like she doesn't exist. Drieser makes her such an important part of the plot. All that being said - to me it is what leads up to the kiss and how it is handled that would lead to whether this story would continue to make sense.

Regardless of the show, the fanfic is simply great.

Re: Still fits, for now . . .

[murasaki1200.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...I'm really trying to figure out how it could make sense for someone who's in a relationship they treasure and don't want to lose to kiss someone else even if they're a confused about whether their current partner is the only one they could ever love. Whether that lover is a man or a woman is besides the point. Plus, this is Zach, who should be off limits to Reese for so many reasons, even if she were attracted to him. It is going to hurt Bianca so much to be right after all. In character!Reese would never do that. She would run from such a mess if anything.
Being this thoughtless and random just doesn't jive with what we've seen about Reese wanting to protect Bianca and being desperately in love and afraid to lose her. Which Reese still is, since she goes through with the wedding. I feel it's a bit of a character assassination because kissing Zach out of confusion is Reese putting herself and her need to clarify her confusion before Bianca, instead of trying to balance both of their needs as well as Gabby's needs.
Oooops. Sorry to be spamming dreiser's thread with this rant.

Re: Still fits, for now . . .

[dreiser.livejournal.com]

Don't worry about spamming. lol. Rant away. Lord knows we all feel like it. The bit with Reese never planning on telling Bianca was bad writing on my part and I'll fix it in the fanfic since that wasn't the impression I meant to leave.

Re: Still fits, for now . . .

[careofsoul.livejournal.com]

OK - I see your interpretation is "Being this thoughtless and random" about the kiss, but what if it is more like smashed, terrified, needy, and regretful? Again, not trying to make excuses - because it obviously needs to be addressed. But without seeing how it develops and how Reese handles it - her behavior on the show right now still fits for this story . . . in the future I can't say and it is speculation.

Re: Still fits, for now . . .

[murasaki1200.livejournal.com]

You're right, today's scenes still are in character. Let's hope for the best.

[murasaki1200.livejournal.com]

I totally get where you're coming from on your interest in writing wavering. I still like the characters as they were before contract negotiations messed everything up and I still totally love your fic. I probably love it even more now that it's clear fic is the only place the characters will get to be themselves, be happy and enjoy some sexytimes.
With Alicia, Rebecca and Eden all gone very soon, it's looking like the show's testing whether reese / zach
will fly even though it makes no sense for reese.
On a happier topic, whenever you want to write the binks / Helena fic you'll get a big yay from me because ultimately that's an au that makes a lot of sense for binks and opens up so many options

[dreiser.livejournal.com]

Bianca and Helena are so freakishly perfect together it's almost scary. lol.

[carpesomediem.livejournal.com]

It really sucks to see a pairing go through the ringer, and sadly, all of Bianca's relationships get to this point. I'm a diehard BAMmer, I have been since day one, but I was totally intrigued - and fell for it, some would say - by what they wanted to do with Bianca/Reese. I do love them together, maybe not as much as Bianca/Maggie, but enough to want to see AMC's storyline play out (and, selfishly, your story play out, too.) However, I would understand if you gave it up, there's only so long you can hold on when you're getting very little in return in regards to what's going on with the show.

I still write fic for a pairing that never actually happened on a TV show that aired over 10 years ago. I love the pairing so much, they're my ultimate OTP, and I could never give them up even if I was the only one left writing them. If you feel that way or similiar to Bianca/Reese, there's no harm in continuing, y'know? Just look at the BAMmers, they truck on, too, despite the continued slaps in the face by ABC Daytime.

[dreiser.livejournal.com]

To me it's easier to write for couples that never existed, such as Helena/Alice on The L Word or Kendall/Greenlee or countless other ships from my anime fics than to write for one that utterly combusted on the show itself. I'm not a huge fan of AU and I tend to follow canon so when things like that happen and I can't see the couple getting back together it kills things.

[carpesomediem.livejournal.com]

Until Bianca/Maggie, I'd never written anything that was considered canon. So, I definitely agree and understand writing pairings that never existed. Heck, I find subtext everywhere, I should get paid for it, heh.

I'm also not a big fan of AU and like to disperse canon into my work, too. That's one of the reasons I'm so taken by your writing; you do that very well, and I can totally get why you might give up "A Thousand Glimpses" because of that.

[kberr.livejournal.com]

I say keep writing it. I don't blame Reese either really, I just wish that the AMC writers didn't take this path. It just seems so cliched...and yes, it's a soap, so I shouldn't have such expectations, right?
This is the one of the only times I wish the writers would pull a "Dallas" and make it all a dream. Sigh.

Anyway, so looking forward to the Bianca/Helena (my fav character who was also written to have a hellish existence).

[dreiser.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks Bianca and Helena could work as a couple. lol. I do want to write that fic a lot but the other one with bitter Bianca does fascinate me too and I've already started plotting that one out.

[jetgirl78.livejournal.com]

For purely selfish reasons, I would love to see you continue with your fan fic, but I know the happening might kill any desire to do just that. God knows I can't fathom doing recaps of the show without it dissenting into pure, undiluted, ranting bitter and who wants to write one thousand words of bitter.

And now this is me being selfish ... I would love to see your fic end with Bianca and Reese admitting their love to each other the first time. And perhaps an epilogue where they meet in Paris a year after everything goes down in Pine Valley and hint that maybe they get back together some time in the future. In my head, that is what will happen, but I know that if Bianca and Reese end up to together, it will come at the cost of her relationship with Kendall. There is no way Kendall will except Reese any time in the near future. Kendall can hold on to a grudge and something tells me she will be holding on to this one for a good, long time.

[dreiser.livejournal.com]

Originally I had planned on ending the fic when Bianca goes to Pine Valley to tell Kendall about the pregnancy. I hate to leave the fic hanging so if I don't think I could continue on ending it when they both confess their love would be a logical stopping point and that epilogue you suggested would make a lot of sense too.

The fic that I'm really fascinated to write if things go horribly as spoilers indicate is one where Bianca becomes totally bitter and cynical about romance. She basically disappears for three years, hiding from Reese who even tries to find her again but can't since Erica refuses to tell her where Bianca is, and she starts a new life in Ireland running a rape crisis center in Dublin.

Since I've been wanting to bring Frankie back from the dead for years using the whole she didn't really die she was in witness protection deal, the idea would be is Frankie seeks her out and is shocked to see how much Bianca has changed. She slowly but surely helps Bianca return who she was and work things out with her family back in Pine Valley who have been wanting Bianca to return for awhile but she kept refusing because she was comfortable in her safe isolated place in Ireland.

Annnnnd, that's a bit post. Sorry. lol. I like the idea of this fic if only for writing bitter Bianca.

[murasaki1200.livejournal.com]

Hey, I'm warming up to the bitter Bianca fic idea with this pitch. Is it wrong that in my head, Bianca totally becomes a player and has tons of hookups with gay, bi and straight girls 'cause you know, she's crazy hot and noone can resist her when she goes after them.
I just want Binks to make up for lost sexytimes and be the heartbreaker for once.
I think she'd have a great time with her two babies even has a single mom, because she can afford to get nannies and her daughters would provide an escape into a world where she doesn't have to protect herself and where she gets unconditional love.

[dreiser.livejournal.com]

I don't care if it's wrong because that's the idea I had! lol. Part of why it appeals to me. Plus the bitter Bianca is strangely compelling to me.

In this fic Bianca becomes very cynical with everyone except her kids and the women she helps at the crisis center. That's the only time you would see her old self. She would refuse to have relationships and it would just be about one night stands and flings in terms of romance.

I'm thinking she doesn't even tell Erica where she is, she just disappears completely, only calling her mother because she doesn't want to make Erica have to choose between her and Kendall. The more I consider the plot for this fic I think it's ideal that four years have passed that way Gabrielle is almost five and has developed a very firm personality. Plus it would add another level of sad that her family in PV doesn't really know her at all and it would add to the impact when Bianca returns and is so different from the person that everyone remembers.

Also, with that length of time passing Kendall would have forgiven Bianca and would want her back but at this point Bianca is so cynical it takes Frankie convincing her along with Miranda to give going back to Pine Valley a real chance.

If things go complete in the shitter I might write this fic before the Helena/Bianca one just because I'll be in the mood to write cynical Bianca. lol. I think a lot of people would feel like reading about her too.

[murasaki1200.livejournal.com]

In this fic Bianca becomes very cynical with everyone except her kids and the women she helps at the crisis center. She would refuse to have relationships and it would just be about one night stands and flings in terms of romance.
I love this. This so needs to be written whether or not Breese gets a happy ending. This could have happened after Binks broke up with Maggie and started her player career with Leslie.
I imagine Binks gone all cynical about her ability to seduce any woman she wants and self confident about her power to affect change in the world via her crisis center and other good things she does with her money, while Frankie has gotten mellower, so they're still on opposite sides of the spectrum.
Can't wait to read this!

[madame-diggory.livejournal.com]

Okay first I have to gush over your South Park 'I'll give you three fifty' icon. That episode is what got me kicked out of chemistry class because my idiot friends and I couldn't stop talking about it.

Second, I love Breese and even after their relationship gets shot to hell I'll still read their fics. After all that's what fan fiction is all about right? Many of the ships I sail either never existed like Harry Potter's Hermione/Fleur, or One Tree Hill's Brooke/Rachel but I find them more convincing as a couple than what the cannon couples are, if that even makes sense, and I continued to love One Life To Live's original Todd/Tea for two more years even after that craptastic deserted island storyline. Although I'm willing to give AMC the benefit of the doubt and stick to the show I'm desperately hoping that when Reese finally goes back to Paris Breese will patch things up. Until then I'm reading all of the Breese fics I can find and will gladly read the Helena/Binks fic when you post.

[dreiser.livejournal.com]

I love making icons. I've decided to try and make icons for South Park throughout all the seasons I own on dvd as an expression of my love for the show. Chef's parents were fucking hilarious.

I think it's easier to write/read about couples that never exist than ones you see just get ruined. That's just me though.

At this point, I'm into the idea of writing the bitter Bianca fanfic I briefly outlined in a reply to this post if things go completely to shite on the show. Just because it would be somewhat satisfying. lol.

Keep Going

[nh-badger.livejournal.com]

I'm an optimist. So I have hope for the couple. But more importantly I view this Fanfic as a way to combat the negativeness of the TV. When spoilers and haters bring me down, I read your fic to cheer myself up.

Re: Keep Going

[dreiser.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you enjoy the fanfic! The TV show is getting really depressing though.

Re: Keep Going

[nh-badger.livejournal.com]

How about after you finish this one you write a fanfic about how Bianca and Reese's time in PV should have gone. You know without all the stuff that's happened New Year's Eve - Present. That was the start of the suck, really.

Re: Keep Going

[dreiser.livejournal.com]

I don't really like changing canon for shows for the most part. It's a weird thing with me. It's a good idea for someone else though.

Re: Keep Going

[(Anonymous)]

I hope you continue with Bianca/Reese. The joy of fanfic is being able to give characters the story they deserve and your story is an excellent one! With things on AMC getting bizarre, your story is a nice getaway to a wonderful fantasy land where lesbians can live a happy life. And you have a great writing style. Hope you continue!

I vote "stay the course", Dreiser!

[(Anonymous)]

C'mon, it's a soap! There has to be drama! There has to be outlandish, completely implausible, you-gotta-be-kidding-me trials and tribulations for even the most beloved couples! And, if things don't turn out as we'd like (but I am optimistic they will), that's what Fanfic is for! To give us what we really wanted to see! And, you, have been giving us what we've wanted to see...the power. The passion. The danger. Oh, wait, that's a different beloved couple. You've been giving us the romance! The sweetness! The love! In a time of ancient head writers, a soapland in turmoil cried out for a heroic author! She was Dreiser, a mighty writer forged in the heat of drama. Her stories would change the fanfic world! Oops, wrong couple again but you get the sentiment!

To Write

[poetanne.livejournal.com]

I do hope you continue to write and finish their story your way. AMC has failed a great pairing, but thankfully their potential has been realized through you. I am a fan of Reese, she's flawed yes, but aren't we all?, and she's been dropped in the land of OZ, run by the great and powerful La Kane. The actresses have had great chemistry, and totally, even with the crappy writing, made this couple plausibly real and and might I say hot. I realize that AMC's destruction of this couple may affect your continuing, but I do greatly enjoy escaping to your fanfic and loving this couple, and hope that you can give them the story they deserve.

Keep going... (I guess)

[deepthinker16.livejournal.com]

I would love it for you to keep going. And while I want you to for selfish reasons, I want you to keep going because I love Reese. And more so, I really love reading your story and your writing.

One of the reasons I want you to keep going is because of the way you write Reese. I know I don't normally comment (my apologies, because I've always been meaning to), but I wanted to say how one of your chapters really hit home for me. The chapter where you wrote Reese coming out to her parents was one of the most emotionally jarring chapters for me because I felt every emotion Reese was feeling as it unfolded. As someone who has yet to build the courage to come out to my own family, more so my mom and dad, reading Reese come out to her parents is a moment that has stuck with me since. I don't know what it is, could be because I can relate to Reese.

Anyhow, I'm going off on a tangent here. I know it's hard to continue, Lord knows, I haven't hit that point yet because the spoilers haven't sunk in for me (call me an optimist) but "A Thousand Glimpses" is a story that's like a brief respite for me in a busy day. I love reading select chapters during the time you're busy writing the next update. I'd hate for that to go away, but I completely understand if you don't want to keep writing.

But know that the story you're writing is greatly appreciated by me in more ways than just whatever we see on screen on AMC.

Feelin' the pain

[(Anonymous)]

It sounds like the Breese fans are in some pain in anticipation of the pain to come for our favorite couple. I feel it too, but stay loyal! Remember the upheaval when Tina and Bette broke up? Ugg, and Tina was with Henry! We actually had to watch that! My point, even Tibette got their happily ever after eventually.